Fractured Sun
by Lunar Chasmodai
Summary: [AU Sequel to Road Trip] Music heals, the ancients say, it soothes the savage beast. Of course, moody teenagers who can't agree on which music are probably far from being healed...but the universe works in mysterious ways [SasuNaru, ShikaTema, GaaNe]
1. Day 1: Sabaku Residence

This involves guys who like guys, guys who make out with other guys, and angst. If you have an issue with this, find some other story and read that. SasuSaku maybe? You will find that far, far away from this webpage (unless it has twisted uses…one day you shall see the example, but not today).

Ooh…sequel to 'Road Trip'! If you have a problem with guys who end up with other guys, I implore of thee to leave so as not to taint your eyes. Also, if you haven't read Road Trip, go read it. If you have read Road Trip I recommend re-reading the last two chapters or so. And reviewing on it. Oh yes.

Significantly darker than Road Trip, so this got classified humor/angst.

She doesn't own Naruto...or Mazyr.

* * *

Inuzuka Kiba woke to the sound of pots and pans making a very loud and unkind noise. It was undoubtedly Temari making breakfast, considering it was Saturday. He had spent the night at the Sabaku residence due to a party that rendered him smashed. Nara Shikamaru was probably there too, finding Neji's lust for bacon too troublesome and giving in, forced to flip it because Temari decided she hated the smell (assuming she hadn't moved onto chicken). Even Kiba's great sense of smell couldn't hold a candle to the nose a pregnant woman. 

"Wake up," Kiba chirped, chucking a pillow in the direction of the futon across the room. The pillow hit its mark: a puffy head of yellow hair. "Temari is going to want you as a guinea pig."

Puffy blond head boy was up instantly.

"What is she making this time? I swear, if its yam and peppermint pizza again, I'm going to-- hey, you haven't even been down stairs. Liar." The blond haired boy shuffled back under the covers. "Not everyone just wakes up all chipper and cheerful."

Kiba stalked over and dragged the blond haired boy out of bed. "Naruto, you're my buffer zone! If you eat all the dumb tomato and vanilla waffles, then I won't have to." They both clattered to the floor.

"Does it ever occur to Temari that just because she hates every food known to humankind, we're still fine with regular waffles and pepperoni pizza?"

"Apparently not."

"I mean, really," Naruto continued. "She put strawberries in my pork ramen. Who puts strawberries in pork ramen?"

"Temari," Kiba replied shortly. Naruto, despite his morning manner, was surprisingly chipper. Still he managed to be grouchy…it was like being really, really happy about hating the world. At least Kiba dealt with it sooner and not later.

"Din…lu…breakfast! Breakfast everybody!" Temari called as Kiba and Naruto trudged down the stairs. "Oh, you're up early Naruto! Usually you sleep in." She smiled, passing Naruto a plate. He glanced down at its contents.

What lay on the plate was surprisingly…normal, actually. A salad and blueberry pancakes. Naruto confirmed the latter with one tentative bite. Temari handed him a raspberry milkshake (Naruto waited for Kiba to take a sip before he tried it) and the boys sat down at the kitchen table opposite Gaara. Neji was sitting on one of the counters on the other side of the kitchen, heating up bacon, much to Temari's chagrin.

"Can't believe you guys graduated!" Temari squealed.

"You know, you graduated too," Kiba said. "Graduating college is way better than high school." Indeed, Temari had graduated the same day. Shikamaru, who was sitting on the living room couch, made an affirmative grunt. Kiba grinned fiendishly. "Besides, _you_ graduating is a huge surprise."

Temari debated slapping him, but one of their friends Choji had thrown a 'we're finally adults' party; this resulted in massive drinking on everyone except, surprisingly, Temari. Kiba had been smashed and was now so out of it, it wasn't even funny.

The night prior, they hadn't been in Murphy, so Temari was designated driver. She had been designated driver since the road trip they had taken three months previous, much to her utter annoyance. One's lust for alcohol doesn't just go away merely because 'caring individuals who have your best interests and the interests of anyone you may be responsible for' won't let you down a bottle of beer at a party.

"Inuzuka, one day, I will get you when you least expect it and you will be sorry. So sorry." Temari glared menacingly over her quarter-filled glass organic orange juice. Kiba's face remained blank and he snaked over to steal some of Neji's bacon.

"Don't make me eat this near you," he threatened.

Temari squealed. "Ew!" she shrieked, running up the stairs and hiding in a closet. Kiba turned his attention on Gaara. "A long time ago, I thought you were the crazy one in the family with your love for objects and complete and utter disregard for the life of others. Now I know your sister's the one who's losing it. Lost it. Whatever." Kiba rolled his eyes, crunched the last bit of his strip of bacon, and downed the backwash left in Temari's cup. "Well I'm going to go make sure she isn't going to start flaming music. That smells nasty. Really, really nasty."

Then, as if someone had shocked him with thirty six thousand volts, Shikamaru was off the couch, shoving past Kiba, and disappearing up the stairs, presumably to stop Temari from scorching music. Kiba raced up the stairs. Both boys attempted to outrun each other. The table of people blinked.

"What's wrong with them?" Naruto asked. "I mean, Shikamaru never actually moves faster than he has to. No one has to go to the bathroom that badly! Kiba too, at exactly the same time…" The entire group face palmed.

"I think we call it jealousy Naruto," Neji observed. "Shikamaru is probably mad that Temari spends more time with Kiba than he does. It would be logical that he would try and beat Kiba up stairs."

"Screw logic!" a feminine voice shrieked down from the stairs. Temari came stomping down the stairs. "I hate both of you! The same amount! Shikamaru is my boyfriend, Kiba is my best friend. Shikamaru, Kiba actually seems to care about the fact that I probably shouldn't be an alcoholic and he actually gets off his ass once in a while. Kiba, you take it just too far, not even letting me look at a beer bottle! MAYBE I WAS GOING TO RECYCLE! _I HATE YOU BOTH!_"

Then Temari left. People just stared. Then, for the first time in anyone around the breakfast table's memory, Kiba and Shikamaru said words in unison.

"This is entirely your fault!" they screamed at each other. Yes, boys and girls, Nara Shikamaru actually raised his voice. Then, seconds later, he was in a screaming match with Inuzuka Kiba, and seconds after that, they were on the ground, trying to cause as much pain as humanly possible. Kiba looked angry. Shikamaru looked angrier.

"Should we break them up?" Neji asked worriedly as Kiba bit into Shikamaru's wrist and Shikamaru punched Kiba awkwardly in the stomach. Gaara shrugged.

"What good will it do? Breaking them up isn't going to do much. My hormonal sister is still out there wrecking havoc," Gaara said. He prodded the two fighting boys with one foot. "You know, if you knock any of our stuff over, Temari is going to get really mad. Madder than she already is. And she is mad."

"How mad?" Naruto asked. Gaara rolled his eyes.

"You, my friend, are even denser in the morning than you are the rest of the time. Go screw Sasuke. Maybe your head will clear up," Gaara suggested. The three non-fighting boys migrated to the kitchen. "There's always a first time, huh?" He stared at Naruto through sly, half-lidded eyes. It was one of those horribly painfully obvious facts that Sasuke and Naruto had never (as an angry Temari so ever-eloquently put it) 'fucked like a pair of rabbits on meth'. They still did fool around enough, however, to piss off the homeowners association on at least three different occasions with the sheets that always ended up on the front lawn. At least, they had.

"This is the homeowners association. We've had numerous complaints about the dirty sheets. Also the sand sculptures. They are tacky," the homeowners association had said one day from the street. They had a bullhorn and an armored car. Last_ time they had come around sans armored car, Kankuro just _happened_ to be using his rifle for target practice that day. _

Temari had been the one to open the door this time.

"They're fucking Mandalas! They come from Tibet! THEY ARE NOT TACKY! What is tacky are those ugly-ass ties your wear when you harass people over some sheets! Sheets for god's sake! Yeah, they're gross, but you'd have the same ones if you ever got any! BUT YOU DON'T BECAUSE YOU NEVER GET ANY!"

Temari went on to scar them for life with any verbal ammo she had with her. It usually centered on the homeowner's association worker's mothers. She used a lot of nice words. 'Skank-fucking-ho-bitch' and 'purple' were the preferred adjectives.

They never did recover.

"Sasuke isn't talking again," Naruto said miserably.

Neji sighed and ruffled Naruto's hair affectionately. "You should give him some time. The last three months have been really traumatic for him."

Indeed, the last three months had been fairly traumatic for Sasuke. Having a run-in with syphilis hadn't exactly helped him with the whole 'let's forget' attempts (this had further freaked out Naruto, who had managed to catch it from Sasuke, though it wasn't surprising really. They had both recovered fully). Endless testifying against Orochimaru and his accomplice Kabuto had triggered paranoia in Sasuke, who no longer let anyone, including Naruto, touch him at all. Selling Orochimaru's house, which he apparently owned had degraded his mind so much that he had been hospitalized. He had planned to jump off the pier with weights on his feet, but Temari had found his note and locked him in the bathroom, sans razors. For the years prior, it had been like Sasuke had dropped off the legal face of the earth, and now all the information relating to Itachi resurfaced.

"He was fine for a while, though," Naruto said contemplatively. "Then he just stopped being fine."

Neji nodded. "Several events triggered that shock. Like getting syphilis, then giving it to you--"

"Does that make it my fault?" Naruto demanded miserably. Neji sighed.

"No, it was inevitable. It was the idea that he caused someone he loves any sort of the pain that was so harmful to his mental health. Don't look so mortified, you just had a couple of sores in your mouth, you're both fine, you're not going to die. It wasn't just that."

"What else was there?" Naruto asked.

Neji raised an eyebrow. "Why ask me?"

"You aced Basic Psychology! You passed AP Psychology! I managed to flunk the easiest course the first week!" Naruto exclaimed.

Neji shrugged. "I aced Basic Chemistry too, which you flunked in the first week."

"Shut up and tell me stuff," Naruto begged. "And put it in English."

"Basically," Gaara cut in. Gaara had been the test subject in more than enough studies. "Neji is saying that being around the source of his problems brought them back to the surface. The stress got to him, and he's just a little shaken up. Now that it's all over, he'll be fine."

No one had noticed Temari had slipped into the room. Probably that was the point, considering Kiba and Shikamaru were still attempting murder on the living room floor and she probably didn't want to deal with that. Naruto smiled at her before skittering off up the stairs.

Temari wheeled around to face Gaara, and she looked mad. "Just a little shaken up? What are you on Gaara? You never sugar coat the truth, I've known you seventeen years. Sasuke is more than 'a little shaken up'. He doesn't talk to anyone anymore and he won't let anyone in his room. He won't let anyone, not even Naruto, touch him anymore. He was hospitalized for a week last month because he can't even cope with reality! He was going to kill himself! A little shaken up? What planet are you on Gaara?"

Gaara sighed. "You want to tell Naruto his boyfriend is a basket case? Be my guest. I'd rather deal with you in a vat of bacon grease."

"Ew," said Temari. "Well what now, darling little brother what do we do now? Neji, you're the one who passed Psychology, you tell me."

"We could drag him far away from his problems," Neji suggested.

"I second that," Gaara said offhandedly.

Temari's eyes narrowed. "We would do that how? Gaara, in case you didn't notice, that little road trip? Cost us an ass load of money. I don't have scholarships anymore and we're currently providing food for six people, eight if you count Shikamaru and Kiba who are constantly here and eating! Prenatal care, by the way, isn't cheap. Neither is postnatal, come to think of it. Neither are the eighteen or so years that follow that. So how do _you_ suggest we pull this off?"

Then, the phone rang.

"I'll get it," Neji said nervously. Nineteen seconds later, he held the phone at arms length and shouted, "GAARA! IT'S DEIDARA!"

Gaara picked up the phone. "Hey," he said.

"**Gaara, un! It's Deidara. Look, Remika and I are going out of town for a couple weeks and we needed someone to watch the house, un. The police are on our backs. Some gibberish about smuggling marijuana in my art, un. It's clay. Green clay. Anyway, we're heading down to California.**"

"We fit in where?"

"**If you watched the house for us, you could stay here. We have some friends in the music scene, Eugene always has wicked concerts. We could get you tickets to whatever you wanted. It's summer, right un? If we could borrow your house while you're up there, it would be great un.**"

Gaara's eyes twitched. "Hey, could I call you back in five? Or rather, could you call us back? The phone bill costs much munny." Deidara grunted the affirmative un and hung up.

"Oh guys! We're pulling it off!"

* * *

Naruto knocked cautiously on the door at the end of the hallway. There was no response. "Sasuke? Are you awake?" Long ago, it had been 'Sasuke, are you in there?' which soon became 'Sasuke, are you busy?'. Now it was just a simple question of whether the dark haired boy was awake or asleep. If he was awake. There was no response to this question. "Sasuke, are you awake?" Naruto repeated. 

"Eh," Sasuke muttered, his soft voice wafting through the shut door. Gibberish was the most anyone got out of him most of the time. Naruto opened the door slowly and stepped inside the room Sasuke now occupied, one that had once belonged to Temari and Gaara's father.

"Hey Sasuke," Naruto said quietly. Sasuke sat on his bed, staring blankly at a spot just to the right of the door Naruto had entered from. "How are you feeling?" The blond boy sat on the edge of Sasuke's bed.

Sasuke didn't speak; he just bowed his head with an expression of anguish.

"Rotten? That's too bad. Did you want to come outside with me? It's a nice day." Naruto moved slowly to the window and pulled up the blue shades. Light filtered into the room, making the shadows of Sasuke's sunken features darker.

Sasuke shook his head. He inched away when Naruto sat near him. He traced the patterns of the flowers on the worn, patchwork quilt Temari had dragged up from the depths of her mother's study. The only quilt her mother ever made.

"You're not though. What's wrong Sasuke? Can I make it better?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"I love you," Naruto said quietly. Sasuke snorted. "It hurts when you push me away," Naruto breathed. He reached out, fingers outstretched. They connected with the side of Sasuke's knee. The dark haired boy jerked back and fell to the floor. He scrambled backwards, backing into a corner. Naruto crawled slowly towards him.

Sasuke's eyes looked somewhere between terrified and angry. The dark haired boy held out his hands in front of him, and when they connected with Naruto's chest, he pulled them back like they had been burned. Naruto stopped and sat back to look at Sasuke carefully.

"Do you not trust me?" Naruto asked. Sasuke stared back, almost defiant.

No reply.

"Why not? Have I hurt you?"

No reply.

"Why did you change?"

"Get the fuck out," Sasuke hissed.

"Was it my fault?"

"I said get the fuck out."

So Naruto left. He looked crushed. Someone could have ground him in a pepper grinder and chopped each molecule into pure elemental atoms and he would have felt more whole, more complete, less like a miserable failure. He remembered vaguely when he and Sasuke had been in…love? Lust maybe, to say the least. Then suddenly, Sasuke had changed. Or maybe Naruto had changed.

"How did it go?" Temari asked. She sat on the second to the last step. She tapped her fingers on her knee to the beat of the Dixie Chicks, which played from the living room. "I met the Queen of Whatever, drank with the Irish, smoked with the hippies, moved with the shakers. Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to…" she muttered along. "That bad, huh?"

Naruto nodded. "Gaara lied, didn't he?"

Temari nodded. "Sasuke's pretty messed up. He'll be fine. Remember the last time he was really, _really_ okay?"

"Yeah," Naruto said. "Road Trip."

Temari nodded. "Apparently Deidara and Remika are coming down here and need somewhere to stay here and someone to watch their house in Eugene. So they offered to switch houses for a while. Throwing tickets to a bunch of concerts."

"That's cool," Naruto murmured. "When are we going?"

"Tomorrow. Apparently Deidara has some green clay issues and needs out now."

"His wife scares me," Naruto said, his lips spreading into a slight grin. Temari made people feel better.

Temari nodded. "Yeah. I know. She's like…I don't know. Someone from a Japanese horror movie. I actually know a girl from Eugene who could tell you exactly what she's like. I'll have to ask her. Ah, the pluses of knowing people with complete obsessions with J-Horror. I'll have to call her later."

"So what's the Shikamaru and Kiba verdict? Did they stop trying to kill each other?"

"Yeah."

"That's good. Where are they now?"

"I think they're putting cucumbers on their bruises," Temari said.

"Cucumbers?"

"First aid kits are valuable and expensive resources and I don't buy steak. So it was either cucumbers or bananas."

"I see."

"Hey, where are you going?" Temari asked when Naruto rose. The blond boy turned to face her with a grin.

"I'm going to go find them a first aid kit," he said. He turned to continue down the hallway before turning his gaze back to Temari. "Could you do me a favor?" he asked quietly.

"Sure," Temari said. With everyone else, it was 'what is it?'.

"Can you go upstairs and talk to Sasuke?"

"Of course." Temari bowed and started up the stairs. She really hated Sasuke at that moment. She had known Naruto since she was ten or so. He was like her little brother. Who ever screwed with him was doomed to a really painful death.

Temari knocked timidly on the door. Not because she was feeling timid, but she was overcompensating for her rage and anger. So she knocked quietly.

"Go away," Sasuke growled from inside the room. There was a long pause.

Then Temari attacked the door with both fists. "YOU BETTER OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!" she screamed. Kankuro poked his head out of a door a few feet away. Temari ignored him. "SASUKE GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE! You have thirty seconds before I lock you the hell in there and starve you out."

"Orochimaru used to starve me," Sasuke said stoically from inside the room. "I doubt you would be able to withhold food long enough to even phase me."

"Then I'm going fucking light this room on fire. Open up the goddamn--" Temari kicked the door open with one well aimed foot, "--door." She surveyed the room. Sasuke was sitting on his bed, looking thoroughly miserable. He was playing with a rubix cube, not even looking at it, just twirling around the boxes in aimless patterns. "Sasuke, what's wrong with you?"

No reply.

"You made Naruto cry, don't you care?"

No reply.

"Do you eve care?"

Sasuke made a sort of noncommittal noise.

So Temari decided to react the way most people would. Well, not most people, but this is Temari we're speaking of: rabid, angry, and pregnant-lady-with-withdrawal. Three months was not enough time to get over ten years of constant alcohol.

She punched him in the face.

This was probably the stupidest action on Temari's part since she had met Sasuke. '_Stupid of me,_' she thought. '_Fuck it, he deserved it._'

Back in reality, Sasuke fell back, clutching his nose, screaming from pain, and landed on the floor. Temari punched hard. She had since she was a little kid. She climbed down to his level, pinning his arms down.

"You know, there was a time you would have been flipping out at the thought of hurting him. Now you just ignore the issue. He'd get up in the middle of the night for you! He won't even get up at a reasonable hour for me!" Temari's eyes blazed at the boy under her. He had long stopped struggling and was now staring blankly up at her. This pissed her off, but she couldn't do much without further harming whatever was left of his sanity. '_Shitshitshit that was really stupid,_' she thought. "He'd play uke for you. Of course, you flipped out before he could actually do that for you."

"Just because someone will spread their legs doesn't mean they love anybody," Sasuke growled. His voice was dark and blank and he stared past Temari to the ceiling. "Doesn't mean they love anybody."

Temari stood, getting off Sasuke. Blood was dripping from his nose where she had hit him and his black eyes stared at the ceiling without blinking. He looked altogether like a corpse. The blood that gushed from his face trickled down his

"You're right," Temari said. "It never got that far, did it? You talk about it to yourself, I've heard you in the night, about how people use you. Who do you think is being used here now, Uchiha? Who do you think is hurting? You're a selfish, petulant little boy. You want what you want with no kind of remorse for how anyone else feels. Remind you of anyone?"

No reply.

"Good."

* * *

**:dance: Finally started the second installment. The music scene in Eugene is wicked. Have fun dahlings.**

**No forget to give suggestions/flames/praise. I will love you long time.**


	2. Day 2: California

**You know, severely traumatized Sasuke is what I get for writing and talking to people with issues at the same time. I love writing about cemeteries. I used to live on Cemetery Ave. Six cemeteries on a block. One little girl with too much time on her hands. My friends weren't dead. Just sleeping.**

**She doesn't own Naruto…Tallinn.**

**

* * *

**"Is everyone awake, ready to go, and not going to flip out in five minutes because they forgot their precious whatever?" Temari gave her charges (they were her charges, technically, as she was the legal guardian of Gaara, Naruto and Sasuke, since they were all under eighteen). 

"Yes mother," Naruto growled. "Why couldn't we fly?"

"Murphy," Gaara replied shortly.

At the same time, Temari said, "money."

Kiba had debated screaming 'chicken' at that moment, but he figured it would just hold them up more. Temari would probably ask Neji to detail Kiba's psychological state of mind. Then, being Temari, Temari would write a novel about helping the mentally deranged out of the goodness of her heart. Kiba did not scream chicken.

"So, are we going in Murphy?" Shikamaru asked. Gaara grinned darkly.

"Yes, yes we are. I spent the past six hours cleaning him out and putting up some dividers. Temari thinks that hotels cost too much money, so on the way up we have to sleep in an RV park," Gaara chirped.

"CHICKEN!"

* * *

So they drove. It was oddly comforting to drive for long stretches of the same scenery for hours. Neji sat in the front seat, glancing at the papers in his hands. His eyes twitched back and forth from the list of concerts to the map. He didn't really need the map, printed in ink that seemed to come out pink where it should have been red and green where it should have been blue. The drive was the same. Secretly, Neji wondered if Gaara had somehow blackmailed Deidara. 

"I'm hungry," Temari said.

"What do you want to eat?" Gaara asked his sister. Neji noticed his knuckles turning white on the steering wheel.

"I want…apple juice and cheese puffs!" she squealed. "Please pull over?"

Gaara sighed. "There's a rest area in three miles. Hold out until then?" He turned his eyes back on the road. Neji figured he didn't want to be interrupted, so the white-eyed boy returned to his reading of basic Eugene history.

'And if you don't go out and go to Three Forks, you will die a painful death', said the pamphlet. 'No, I'm not kidding. I will find you. I will hurt you'. '_Who wrote this?_' Neji wondered. He checked the author.

"The person who writes this pamphlets is sort of scary," he commented. Temari reached over and plucked the glossy paper from his hands.

"I think I know her," Temari said. "Yeah, that's her."

"Is she actually like that?" Neji asked, gesturing to the words 'a cyclone of misery and dank, cloying despair that will drive you to the edge of your subconscious mind and hold you over the edge, taunting you until you scream'.

"She's a step below Gaara and a step above Nero. Probably just a argon atom to the political right of a flower. Dreams lie somewhere between being a writer and being a chemist. Only person in her class actually allowed to handle Alkali Metals."

Neji blinked. "Flower?"

"I don't know what my brother sees in you. Don't make me teach you the subtle and graceful art of wit."

"It's not really all that subtle," Neji observed.

Temari face palmed. "I'm sorry, this one is beyond help! Bring out the Oompaloompas!"

Neji blinked silently.

Temari smacked her forehead. "Don't tell me you're completely devoid of literary humor too."

"Wasn't that a movie?"

* * *

They were stopped. Neji was attempting to order coffee for everyone at a coffee kiosk, mostly because everyone was tired and it was insanely cheap. So they were ordering coffee. Well, coffee for everyone but Temari, since it was technically the middle of the day, and that would have been breaking the Nondenominational Road Trip Scripture Decree. 

"I want black coffee," Neji said. "You guys?"

"Caramel Mocha Latte," Gaara said.

"Regular," Shikamaru.

"White mocha!" Naruto cried, jumping up and down. He hadn't even gotten the caffeine yet.

"Chai Tea Latte," Temari ordered, hand dropping in a sort of 'dahling' gesture.

"Americano," Kiba ordered.

Sasuke, who appeared to be asleep, didn't speak.

"Get him coffee," Temari commanded her brother. Gaara rolled his eyes, fished a couple of bills (of course, he had to find pennies on the floor to cover it). When they got their orders back (three full Naruto-conversations managed to take place in that span of time), Gaara burned rubbed into the asphalt as he went north.

"We got you a Caramel Latte Macchiato," Naruto said, sitting down beside Sasuke.

"Don't want it," Sasuke muttered.

"We spent money on it," Naruto pleaded. "You should probably drink just some of it. Temari won't be happy if you waste it."

"Temari is never happy," Sasuke muttered.

"Can you blame her?"

"Yes."

"You know, she's the nicest person I've been around in a long time," Naruto said, pushing the Caramel Latte Macchiato into Sasuke's hands. "She cares about you, you should treat her nicely. She deserves to be treated nice."

"Big words," Sasuke observed. He eyed the latte in his hands. "She punched me in the face."

"Then you deserved it," Naruto said dully. Sasuke turned his eyes up to meet Naruto's sharply.

"I deserved it?" he demanded.

Naruto cut him off before he could get any further. "Yeah, you deserved it. If Temari punched you in the face, then you had to have deserved it, because Temari doesn't just go around hitting people if they don't."

"So you're on her side now, huh?" Sasuke asked acidly.

"No, I'm not on anybody's side!" Naruto protested. "I'm just saying that Temari probably wanted to knock some sense into you! You're acting so weird!"

"Weird, huh? Weird is a fucking understatement Uzamaki--"

"No."

"What?" Sasuke asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

"My name is Naruto, not Uzamaki." Naruto stared at Sasuke for a few more seconds, waiting for a reply. None came. Naruto turned back to his mocha, sipping it slowly. He only _sipped_ coffee when he was feeling particularly depressed or contemplative. Usually he downed it in a couple of gulps. '_My name is Naruto…_'

Somehow, silence consumed the car. It clawed desperately at the windows, begging to be let out.

Gaara turned on the radio.

Despite the music, which sounded like country or folk, the silence still wanted out. Temari sort of wished she was high or drunk, mostly because when a person is high or drunk, they can think of the silence clawing at the windows, trying to get out, and they can blame it on being high or drunk. Unfortunately, Temari just had the poetry going for her. For everyone else, they were stuck thinking like madmen in a quadratic equation. Either that, or the coffee was getting to them.

"How much further?" Temari asked. The silence stopped clawing and whined at her feet. She felt like kicking it, but instead decided to keep it there until she needed it. Silence only whines at people's feet when they're writing some brilliant work of literature, so she could probably command the silence to claw at the windows if anyone got to loud. The silence growled. It kind of wanted out, having been trapped by Temari's logic. Just-Right-of-a-Flower had taught her to debate. Debate, and how to look like a smart ass when people talk about yellow or blue or purple 'neon' lights. ("Yellow is helium, blue is xenon, and purple is argon. Neon is red-orange. Silly neon, getting all the thunder. I happen to like argon," Just-right-of-a-flower had said. "It's nice.")

Temari liked making snide comments when guys hit on her and talked about neon lights. That was a good tactic, usually they leave one alone when you crush their pathetic pick-up lines. That, and unleashing most poetic silence. So did telling them you were a lesbian. Temari usually stuck with those tactics. There were others, they involved pain, but they were unimportant and if one didn't have a candlestick, lead pipe or revolver on hand, they were sort of useless. Temari had made a note to avoid all that is board game related. It usually ended in her losing. The silence said so.

"How much further?" Temari asked again.

"Please, don't turn into Naruto," Gaara pleaded drolly. "We're not going to get there for several hours. Enjoy the scenery. Take some pictures." Temari fixed her eyes on Neji, who was twitching.

"Why are you acting so twitchy?" she asked, poking Neji.

"Not twitchy," Neji retorted, flinching.

"You're as twitchy as a pregnant rat," Temari replied dully.

Neji raised an eyebrow. "Pregnant _rat_?"

"Have you ever had a pregnant rat? You could power a salt mine with all the twitching they do! It's like its own source of energy! Twitch, twitch, twitchily twitch."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh is right, Preggers."

"The irony of that sentence doesn't even deserve a comment."

* * *

"See, normally this is when I hand out keys, but I'm not going to, since we're staying in a car. So, find a place to be comfortable and sleep, because Eugene is far away. I put up partitions made of cardboard boxes. Temari said it would save money on recycling." 

"Don't you get money for recycling?" Neji asked. Gaara shrugged.

"Not for boxes. Besides, gas."

"Whatever," Temari said. "You're the one who demands bacon. Your fault."

"You put strawberries in ramen and tomatoes in waffles! OF COURSE WE WANT BACON!" Naruto protested. "_Strawberries in ramen!_"

"And yet you lecture Sasuke about the coffee…"

"Temari, you're the one who wastes the food. No one eats the nasty yam and peppermint pizza," Naruto observed. Temari looked mildly hurt.

"I thought you liked that," she said.

"Yam and peppermint! It was _NASTEH_!" Naruto cried. "Whatever. I'm tired."

"Didn't get any sleep?" Gaara asked. Usually that was his forte, sleeplessness.

"Not much, I was sort of worries about…life…" he said the last word vaguely, and Gaara had a feeling that if he pushed it, he wouldn't get very many answers. No use trying to get information out of people who aren't willing to give it. He was almost tempted to steal his future brother-in-law's favorite word: 'Troublesome'.

"Then sleep tonight," Gaara ordered his blond haired friend. "We won't wake you up. Or at least, I won't. I can't make any promises for the raving twenty-one-year-old lunatic that occupies my blessed car."

No one ever thought they would hear Gaara say 'blessed'.

"Whatevers," Temari said. "I'm not going to wake anyone up. Grouchy Naruto is worse than grouchy Neji. And damn, Preggers, you're grouchy in the morning."

"Don't call me that," Neji protested. "And I am _not_ grouchy in the morning."

"Yes you are," Gaara answered automatically. "You are the grouchiest guy I've ever slept with."

"How many guys have you slept with?" Neji asked suspiciously. He felt sort of hurt. Gaara shrugged.

"Enough to have a comparison," he replied shortly. He flicked off the engine and pulled out a book. There was a slinky black reading light attached. "Okay, enough talking, let me get to my book before I kill you."

Temari peered over his shoulder and started reading aloud from the paragraph of Gaara's book that was illuminated. "Hn…Rain poured down from the strangely white sky. It hit the green pine trees quickly, its decent slowed to peculiar trickles to the wet brown earth--" She was cut off when Gaara snapped the book in her face, barely clearing her nose. She sat back grinning. "You're reading Beige Directions, aren't you? Now I have proof you steal from my bookcase!" She grinned and flicked on the light. "Alright, blankets. Wait, how is this going to work?"

There was a monotonous groan.

"I say we just drink all night and fall asleep wherever."

"You are a mean, mean child Kiba. A mean, mean child."

They ended up in a complete communal blanket cuddle. Temari ended up the warmest, due to the insistence of Shikamaru and Kiba. She kind of liked being cared about. Very rarely was she the one cared for. She snuggled against her brother's chest (he was, most surprisingly, actually asleep). The blond girl sighed in her sleep and curled an arm around Shikamaru. She sort of rolled over Kiba's wrist. Kiba curled his finger's around her ankle. It was probably the furthest from orderly, but it was warm and everyone was happy. Or at least, they felt sort of safe. 

Sasuke was awake. All blankets were being used and he didn't feel like taking them or actually touching anyone else. It was warmer just to stay awake. '_They won't notice anyway,_' he reasoned. It was really cold, he noticed dully. Really cold. Someone else was awake. He had learned to be able to tell when other people were awake. Half defense mechanism, half necessity. He was in his own little partition, muffled by bags and a ratty sweatshirt he had brought alone.

"Sasuke?"

Naruto. Who else? No one else even made an effort to speak to Sasuke anymore, except maybe Temari, but usually only when he had been extraordinarily mean to Naruto. Other than that, they left him alone. Except, of course, Naruto. '_Have I not shot him down enough?_'

"Hn."  
"Are you cold?" Naruto asked timidly.

"No," Sasuke replied shortly. He wondered briefly why the boy hadn't just left him alone, as everyone else had. '_You know the answer to that,_' he thought miserably to himself. '_He's in love with you. And you are in love with him._' He knew that was the truth.

"You sure?"

"No," Sasuke breathed.

"Did you wake up? I didn't hear you."

"No."

"Talk to me."

"What did you want to hear?" Sasuke asked. He could hear the hint of bitterness in his own voice.

"I just want to know why you hate me," Naruto said.

Some part of Sasuke got really, really mad. Not at the blond boy sitting in front of him, but at himself. He was being weak, and being weak he was hurting people he cared about. If he kept going like this, he was going to drive the one person who still care about him away.

"I don't hate you," he said.

"Then why don't you like me any more?"

He couldn't remember the exact moment that he changed. Their strange road trip had made him better. His nightmares had all but disappeared. Then he returned. How silly of him, to think that he could ever be fine.

The worst part, at least one of them anyway, was having to pay for Itachi's funeral. The courts had insisted he see the place, even if he didn't want to. It was still clear in his mind. Really, really clear.

Despite the blue sky and puffy clouds, the day was bitingly cold. The grass inside the cemetery that Sasuke walked over was painfully green. Trees cast cloying shade in crevices behind the grave stones, little packets of night. A portly man lead Sasuke down the winding paths, past all the stones with names etched into them. They weren't like some of the other cemeteries Sasuke had been to. No, those had many different colors of stone, different writing. They could be happy, like a garden. Here was no garden.

Naruto walked beside his friend. "I'm sorry I made you come," Sasuke said as they continued down the path.

"No problem," said Naruto. "I understand if you didn't want to come here alone. You didn't really need to come here at all, you know? I can't believe they're making you see it."

Sasuke hadn't replied, he had just kept walking, head bowed, dark eyes fixed to the ground.

"Here it is," the portly man stated, pointing the grey stone marked 'Uchiha Itachi'. It was plain and slate, round on the top and flat on the sides. Unlike many of the other stones, there was no symbol below the name. Others had crosses or six pointed stars, the symbol for the navy or the army. Itachi's head stone hadn't had that. It was blank. "We didn't have anyone to pay for it, but we know who it was. It will cost you four hundred-- young man, I wasn't done yet!" the portly man cried. Sasuke had taken off running up the hill. His feet smacked cruelly against the pavement. His glittering black eyes fixed ahead of him. He tripped and fell, unmoving, eyes staring blankly up at the bright sky.

Naruto had chased him. The man who had been showing them the stone didn't even bother. Naruto had run though, run after the Uchiha child and when the pale boy, grown paler, fell to the ground, Naruto had knelt beside him.

"Sasuke…" he breathed. "It's okay."

Sasuke stared up at his friend. Tears would have cascaded down anyone else's face, but not Sasuke. His eyes were shimmering strangely in the light but no tears fell from his eyes. He reached up, grasping the front of Naruto's shirt, pulling himself up and wrapping his arms around the blond boy.

"It's not," he whispered, his normally even breath ragged from running. "It's not okay."

Maybe that was the beginning of the change.

"You remember when we went to see Itachi's grave? They made me go. I made you go," Sasuke breathed. "I remember. Do you? Do you remember? It was such a nice day, they said. Are you glad your brother has such a nice grave, the oblivious ones said. Are you glad your brother is dead, the ones who knew said." A twisted, broken laugh erupted from Sasuke's throat. "No, I wasn't happy. I wish I had been the one to end his life. You know what I really wanted though? You know what I really wanted Naruto?"

"What?" Naruto asked quietly.

"I wanted my brother back. Not the monster who pretended to be my brother for so long, the one who killed my parents and left me, the one who let me step over their bodies in the dark when I came to ask my mother for a bedtime story. N--" he broke off, choking on dry sobs. "No, I want my brother back." There it was again, that damn anger that kept showing up in the pit of Sasuke's chest. The anger at himself for being so insensitive. Anger that he couldn't admit, to Naruto or to himself, that he was afraid.

"I'm sorry," Naruto breathed. "Can…can I touch you?"

Sasuke looked up. "What?"

"Can I hug you? Temari and my…mother told me that being held by someone who cares about you makes it better."

"You care about me?" Sasuke asked, his black eyes growing slightly wider.

"Always," Naruto replied without hesitation.

"Yes," Sasuke said quietly.

"Yes what?" Naruto asked, turning his head to one side. Sasuke took a deep breath.

"Yes…you can hug me," Sasuke expanded. He smiled wryly, even the emotion in it was the furthest from happy that Naruto had ever seen, and for so long Naruto had been a master of faking smiles. Naruto moved forward slowly. Sasuke shrunk back a little, just a reflex. Naruto put his arms around Sasuke's neck. When the blond boy's skin connected with his, Sasuke flinched.

"Are you alright?" Naruto asked. Sasuke nodded, returning the boy's embrace. Sasuke heard the younger boy's breath hitch.

"I'm fine," Sasuke said. He inched away and Naruto took the hint, dropping his arms. "I…I feel better now."

"Good." Naruto smiled and crawled over the partition. "Night."

"Night Naruto," Sasuke murmured under his breath. "I love you." He shut his eyes and was asleep almost instantly, his tired body giving into dreamlessness.

"I love you too…"

**

* * *

****Aw...no, Sasuke is not going to suddenly revert to normal. Nope. Ah, the torture that is me. Have fun with it lovlies.**


	3. Day 3: Shasta

**I don't own Naruto…or much else for that matter. I could go and look up an obscure place on my map, but I would have to get out of bed, which I refuse to do. (Apparently my Author Insert writes pamphlets. That was me...)****

* * *

**

There was another day of long driving. Actually, only to Shasta. Isaribi, in all her wicked timing, had called them and asked them if they were in the area. No one actually believed she hadn't somehow known. No one is _that_ lucky.

"We're here," Gaara announced dully. "Everyone out."

Isaribi ran to greet them. "Hey man!" she cried, waving to Gaara. She glanced at Sasuke, her eyes narrowing. Then her gaze flittered to Neji. "Who are you?" she asked.

"Hyuuga Neji."

"Gaara's boyfriend, right?" she asked, smiling.

"What makes you say that?" Neji asked, blushing.

"You have your arm around his waist. And he's not so discreetly eyeing your crotch," Isaribi informed the white-eyed boy.

Neji twitched.

"Wow you're twitchy," Isaribi remarked. "You kind of act like a pregnant rat."

"WHAT IS IT WITH THE PREGNANT RAT COMMENTS?!" Neji creamed at the top of his lungs.

The entire street went quiet.

"I think we should go inside," Temari suggested, and with that she and Isaribi herded everyone into Isaribi's house. It was strangely large, bright green, and reminded Naruto of being underwater. Sasuke had the same thoughts, but water always made him uncomfortable.

"Well, glad you guys are here. You have to be starving. Did you want any food? I can order food from Lai Lai…"

"I'm in!" Naruto said brightly. "That's Chinese, right?"

Isaribi cocked an eyebrow. "Um…yeah," she said slowly. "Chinese. What did all of you want?" The instant she said it, she wished she hadn't. The bombardment of orders nearly hit her in the face full force. Finally, Gaara clapped his hands, making everyone silent, and ordered what they always ordered. Anyone who wanted to change could. No one did.

"Alright, are we good?" Gaara asked, looking over his friends in annoyance. They nodded. "Okay. Thank you, Isaribi for your hospitality." He gave everyone a harsh look.

"Thank you."

"Thanks."

"Thank you very much."

"Arigato!"

"Hn."

"Troublesome. My most sincerest thanks."

"Okay, food time." Isaribi bounced out the door. She turned back suddenly. "Hey Sasuke, come with me?" she asked. Sasuke shrugged and walked after Isaribi.

"So what's up?" the dark haired girl asked as they walked down the street. "You're different. Fill me in on what happened these past four or so months. You don't look like you used to. Tell me what has happened."

"I fell in love."

"That's good."

"And then I went back and I realized I could never be happy."

Isaribi stopped. "Why not? Why couldn't you be happy?"

Sasuke sighed, his shoulders sagging. "I'm tainted, weak, afraid. Voices keep showing up in my head, I'm consistently losing track of time, and I feel like I'm constantly dreaming. I can never be happy like this." He lowered his gaze. "I won't even let them guy I love touch me anymore. I did last night, I let him hug me, only for a second. I was so damn scared the entire time. I don't know why."

"Maybe if you watched TV together or just remained in light contact with each other, then you wouldn't be so afraid to be touched. It's worth a shot, you know?" She smiled and Sasuke realized they were standing in front of Lai Lai. He wondered how he managed to miss the entire walk.

Isaribi placed her order before turning back to Sasuke. "So," she said. "You going to make it all better?" she raised one graceful eyebrow. Sasuke gave her a blank look. Their food arrived ('_How does she _do_ that?_' Sasuke wondered) and Isaribi started down the street. "Just don't act stupid. That won't solve the problem."

"Stupid?" Sasuke asked. Isaribi's other eyebrow rose to meet its mate.

"Yeah," she said. "Stupid. You know, like jumping out of my second story window if he leaves you to take a shower. That's stupid."

"I would never do that!" Sasuke insisted. Isaribi shrugged.

"There are other stupid proceedings you could take. I just gave you one example. So no stupid," she said, her lilting voice almost laughing.

"Hn."

"Don't 'hn' me, Uchiha Sasuke," Isaribi scolded. "It doesn't fly with me. You can stop gaping like a fish, we're here." She rolled her eyes and stalked into the house. Sasuke made a mental note that there had to be a rift in the Space-Time Continuum because _no one_ can get food that fast. He'd tried. Naruto had demanded.

"Sasuke, why are you just staring at the door like that?" Temari asked, poking her head out of the house. "Come in and get some food." Sasuke shook his head and glided inside. He paced down the hall and into Isaribi's kitchen. Half of him expected it all to be gone, but it wasn't.

"Sit down and eat already," Isaribi scolded. "I don't eat at Lai Lai's very often you know."

Sasuke sat down heavily in one of Isaribi's wicker chairs. He picked up his food and ate it cautiously. He hadn't eaten much in the past couple of weeks. He hadn't eaten with anyone around in at least two months. Somehow Isaribi's kitchen made him feel at home and safe.

* * *

"What are all of you going to do now?" Isaribi asked. "I have a huge stock of movies." 

"I'm going to take a walk," Temari said. "Who's with me?"

"Me!" Kiba said.

"I have a novel to read," Shikamaru said, eyeing Kiba. "Make sure she doesn't get lost."

"Cemetery," Gaara said. Everyone but Temari looked a little disconcerted.

"What?" Neji asked, one eyebrow arched. Gaara shrugged.

"Cemetery. There's one outside of town. Isaribi was telling me about it. She said a lot of the stones looked the same, but it had a decent awesome mausoleum and some history so I'm heading out there. I've loved cemeteries since I was a little kid. One of my friends got me hooked. At least I don't talk to the gravestones. More than I can say for her."

"What about you Sasuke?" Isaribi asked, fixing her attention on the raven.

"Raiding your movie stash?" More a question than an answer.

"Naruto?"

"Same."

"Wicked. Well…just be back here for dinner at six. Have fun with the town. I have some shopping to do, so Temari, Kiba, you guys can come since I'm walking. Movies are in the living room, second shelf next to the stereo." She _leapt_ away. Shikamaru migrated upstairs to read in the hallway, Neji and Gaara went off to fulfill Gaara's cemetery walking desires, and Kiba and Temari walked out into the sunshine to follow Isaribi.

"What are you going to watch?" Naruto asked, perching on Isaribi's blue vinyl couch. He vaguely noted that it was a nice vinyl couch, for a vinyl couch. Sasuke shifted uncomfortably.

"Whatever you're watching," Sasuke said absentmindedly. Naruto sighed and located Isaribi's collection of movies. Okay, more like a massive library of cinema. "Hey, I have to use the bathroom, I'll be right back."

Naruto shrugged and took a DVD out of the shelf and slipped it into the DVD player. 'Audition' said the cover. He settled himself on the blue vinyl couch and hit the 'play' button on the remote. The movie started and Naruto snuggled into the blankets on the couch. Sasuke ended up wanting to take a shower, and proceeded to do so.

"Mrph," Naruto muttered from under the blankets. There was the sound of creaking stairs from behind them and Naruto jumped into the air with a squeal. "She's going to get me!"

"Next time I'll use the upstairs bathroom," Shikamaru said dully from the stairs, turning to go back up. Sasuke snickered.

"No, Shika would think 'getting you' would be too troublesome," Sasuke called from the hallway.

"Oh, shut it bastard."

"Is Naruto scared?" Sasuke teased, poking his head around the doorway.

Naruto peeked over the blanket he his behind. "Still scary."

Just as Sasuke was going to return, the phone rang. Naruto managed to somehow defy gravity and end up behind the vinyl couch. Sasuke rolled his eyes. He reached over and picked up the phone, giving Naruto a strange look before answering the caller.

"Hello?"

"Who is this?" a high pitched voice demanded. "I have this number on speed dial and I call it every day, I know this is Isaribi's house. So who the hell is this?"

"This is Uchiha Sasuke. I'm staying with Isaribi--"

"Oh good!" the shrill voice cried. "Does that mean that silly girl had finally decided to walk the straight and narrow? Wonderful!"

"Who is this?"

"Her aunt, darling!" the voice continued. Sasuke winced.

"Isaribi isn't here, a few of my friends and I met her in February and we needed a place to crash, I doubt she's walking the 'straight and narrow', and if you will excuse me my boyfriend is having horror movie induced trauma. Good day." He slammed the phone down. He didn't know quite why that woman infuriated him so much. Maybe it was being so excited at the prospect of her niece having a boyfriend. Sasuke chortled darkly at the thought.

"Who was that?" Naruto asked, his face mortified.

"Her," Sasuke said, pointing at the girl on the screen. He couldn't recognize who it was, but he was pretty sure that aura meant 'evil'.

Naruto squeaked. "She's going to get me," he wailed. Sasuke rolled his eyes and sat beside his blond-haired friend.

"She is the product of a group of Japanese movie makers creating art with the intent to terrify. It was Isaribi's aunt."

"You hung up pretty fast. What did she have to say?"

"She thought I was Isaribi's boyfriend. I set her straight and hung up." Sasuke smiled. "I told her my boyfriend was having horror movie induced trauma."

Naruto was already spacing out. The people on the screen looked more than a little frantic. "Uwah…scary…" he squeaked. Sasuke rolled his black eyes and sat next to the blond haired boy.

"What are you watching?" he asked, staring at the screen blankly.

"Audition."

He had seen Audition once. Orochimaru used to let him watch his collection of horror movies sometimes if the snake man didn't have any other intentions for him that day. Sasuke had a sick feeling why his former guardian had them. It was horrific remembering.

No doubt Orochimaru had seen every one of those movies. One girl, no more than sixteen years old, had once come home with Orochimaru. Sasuke remembered curling up in his room, listening to her screaming. Eventually he heard the front door slam as the girl (he hoped) escaped. When Orochimaru had left for work the next day, the dark haired boy had snuck upstairs. Audition would have been proud. Orochimaru's bedroom had been completely covered in red, red blood. In one corner there lay abandoned needles and a roll of wire. Next to that had been a human foot, dainty and stained crimson. There Sasuke had fainted and when he woke up, he was lying in bed, bruised and bloody himself. When he could finally get up the next day, Orochimaru's door was open and the room was completely clean.

Sasuke snapped back to reality when Naruto shuddered and Sasuke felt suddenly inclined to grab the younger boy's arm to keep him from shaking. '_Note to self,_' the Uchiha thought, '_Naruto is afraid of Japanese horror movies._'

"Mrah…" Naruto squeaked. He looked hesitantly to Sasuke, who looked hesitantly back. "Are you okay?"

"Hn," Sasuke mumbled.

Naruto shifted, his head blocking Sasuke's view of the television. "You're not, are you? What's wrong?"

"I've seen this movie before."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Orochimaru would let me watch his collection of horror movies if he was out fucking a whore." Sasuke smiled bitterly and sat cross-legged on the couch. "Rob Zombie supposedly had issues watching this. You?"

"Scary," Naruto said. "I think my eyes burned out."

"I figured. Turn it off?"

"But Asami is so pretty!" Naruto protested. Sasuke looked mildly hurt. "She's a psychopath! You can say psychopaths are pretty and get away with it!"

"Sure you can Loser. I think she's actually a sociopath…"

"Oh, shut it bastard."

**

* * *

**

**And slowly but surely, I lose my mind. Audition is wicked. It's so unflinching and graphic. J-Horror ish t3h smex.**

**Review and tell me how I'm doing, k? I love hearing from you!**


	4. Day 4: Shasta

**Mou, so short. Oh well, we survive. **

**She doesn't own Naruto...or Lt. Commander Richie, with whom she is on vacation (the reason she wrote such a short crappish chapter).**

**You remember the girl in the elevator back in road trip? (Of course not!) Well...her mother is so homophobic, I can't wear my beloved rainbow 'gay rights are civil rights' button. -.- I'm on vacation with her. (But Lt. Commander Richie is so worth putting up with the Demon Lady).**

* * *

"Thanks again Isaribi, for breakfast and for letting us stay means a lot to us, right guys?" Temari smirked and gave her charges a pointed looks. They glanced up from pancakes, nodded, and glanced down again. 

"Any time," Isaribi said with a nearly seductive grin. "You are welcome anytime here. Sasuke, you earned good points setting my aunt straight. When my sisters get back, I'll have to tell them. That'll be fun."

"Do you not get along?" Sasuke asked. Isaribi chuckled.

"That's an understatement," she said. "My aunt seems to have an _issue_ with my girlfriend. She's never very nice to my sisters anyway, so we all hate her."

"Explains a lot," Sasuke said. "She's a bitch."

"We know." Isaribi grinned. "So, you guys going to finish all of that or can I have some?"

No one felt like giving up their food. So long it had been since they had had decent food. Temari wasn't a bad cook. She made the best yam and peppermint pizza around. It was just…no matter how well cooked, yam and peppermint pizza will always be nasty…

"Erm…"

"Just kidding," Isaribi assured the teenagers. "I have more. You looked mortified there for a second." She waved one hand and opened her refrigerator. "Anyone want _more_?" she asked fiendishly.

She wished she hadn't. She was nearly bowled over by very hungry persons…

"Ow…"

The very hungry persons were attempting to wrestle the food first away from her, then from each other, then out of the package (that was the real difficulty…those eggo waffles boxes are _supposed _to stand up to a nuclear bomb). The pain. Oh the pain.

An hour later, Gaara was ready to drive straight to Eugene. He didn't want to _putter_. Gaara did not _putter_. They had _puttered_ around Shasta, Temari had bough a pendulum and some books on spiritual healing, but mostly it was just food. So the _puttering_? That was dead. Oh yeah. Way dead.

The redheaded boy sat in the front of the car, staring at the front of Isaribi's house blankly. He was tired. He was always tired. Maybe, he reasoned, after seventeen years his lack of sleep would finally catch up with him.

"What's with you?" Neji asked. "You look more tired that usual."

"I am. All this lack of sleep is catching up to me, and its partially your fault."

Neji looked indignant. "Are you implying--"

"Oh yes, yes I am implying. I am not only implying it, I'm screaming it in neon--"

"And probably helium, argon, krypton and xenon," called the omnipresent chemically correct voice.

"Okay, yes, yes I am implying; I'm not only implying it, I'm screaming it in neon, _helium, argon, krypton and xenon_ that it is partially your fault I'm not getting any sleep. And that Temari is getting really mad at the cleaning bill."

Neji winced. "Sorry about that."

"Then we'll have to go somewhere where Temari won't get mad now won't we?"

"We're leaving in fifteen minutes…"

"I know," Gaara said with a smirk. "That's my line, by the way. You know, where I care about the timing and all that. Well, stop stealing my lines. Come with me." Gaara dragged Neji by one hand into the bushes.

"You really want to do this?"

"Hell yeah, you?"

"Of course."

It should be further noted that bushes are not very nice. Especially not poison oak.

"How did you do this to yourselves?" Temari demanded, surveying Gaara and Neji. Both boys were stripped to their boxers while Kiba and Naruto dutifully rubbed poison oak cream on their bodies. The upper half anyway. The rest was their problem. It had shown up three hours into a five hour drive. You know what? I don't even want to know."

"Why would Isaribi plant poison oak in her bushes?" Gaara demanded.

Temari narrowed her eyes. "I don't know. Why were you in her bushes without any clothes on?"

Silence.

"Ew."

* * *

They arrived at Deidara's house two hours later. Well, now their house for the next period of time in which DeiDei-kun was on the run from whatever paranoid hippie-hating task force was going after him.

"They have enough time and money to go after one guy with _green clay_ but they can't bring food to anyone in Harlem. Or South Bronx. Or the Middle East. Or Asia. Or--"

"We get it," Gaara cut off the current speaker (we all know who that was).

"Gosh," said Temari. "I was just saying. It's not my fault you have poison oak. I will offer you a word of advice though, for next time, you know? Next time, DON'T HAVE SEX IN THE BUSHES!"

Silence.

"You're all virgins…" Temari growled. "Can't handle the word sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. OH MY GOD SEX!"

"You know, only Naruto is technically a virgin," Kiba observed. "And that actually depends on your definition of the word."

"It's not experience, it's an attitude. Whole new definition. A-- wait…why is Naruto's nose bleeding? Can I have a Kleenex? Where does Deidara keep the Kleenex? Minor medical emergency here! Okay…medium rare medical emergency…"

Kleenex was brought.

"Temari, may be you shouldn't say that word so much."

"You're all wimps," she said, noting that everyone else was at least a little bit effected by her sudden outburst. You know, comatose. Neji and Gaara, however, were the exception. Neji was just pretending to be a tomato, and Gaara scratched menacingly. Ooh. We cower. "Someone is Mr. Grumpy-Wumpy!"

"I bet the poison oak water--"

"It's an oil!" said the omnipresent chemically correct voice.

"Fine, I bet the poison oak _oil_ is probably still here. So if you don't silence yourself, I will make you sorry," Gaara growled. "You too!" he added, pointing up at where the omnipresent chemically correct voice sounded like it came from, despite omnipresent-ness.

"Ouch," said the omnipresent chemically correct voice.

"Hopefully it won't come to that," Gaara added.

"Actually," said the omnipresent chemically correct voice. "Even though it doesn't have to do with chemistry, my creator has a vendetta against people who use 'hopefully' incorrectly. It means 'in a hopeful manner' and not--"

"Silence!" shrieked Temari. "You're pissing me off! I'm a creative writing minor, I have a friend who is a teacher and her daughter wants to be a chemist or an author, and you're managing to piss _me_ off. Good job. Shut up before I make you. And I. Will. Make. You."

"Ooh, I'm so scared…"

"Three, two…"

Silence.

"Does that mean I can say that Cesium and water makes soup?" Temari asked the air. No reply. "Good. We killed her."

"What happens when you put Cesium in water?"

"Bathtubs get hurt."

"Ouches."

"Yeah. Ouches. But you know what Deidara always says: 'Art is a Cesium in Water'."

* * *

**Have fun and leave your comments. Sorry this was so short. I should have been writing, but I sort of fell asleep in the car.**

**Water and Cesium, in case you didn't know, EXPLODES. **


	5. Day 5: Home Base

**I was on vacation with le homophobe extreme (friends mother). I fought dragons, I slayed orcs drunk (DRUNKDRUNKDRUNKDRUNKDRUNK) with mead and saved fair maid from certain death.**

**No wait, that was a dinner party.**

**I don't own Naruto or the 'mead' :cough:champaigne:cough: drunk by orcs :cough:LtCommanderRichie'sMotherAndStepFather:cough:**

**We're going to hurt them one day...**

* * *

"This is evil."

"Temari, just be quiet."

"EVIL!"

"It's just an Ouija board."

"IT'S EVIL!"

"Gosh…"

"It opens the portal between the spirit world! THEY WILL KILL US ALL!"

"Temari, for fuck's sake, SHUT UP! Go sit in the hall or wherever you sit when you sulk."

"You mean like the backseat of Murphy."

"I thought you were asleep."

"I wasn't! I HAVE PICTURES OF YOU AND MISTER TEDDY!"

"I have pictures of you in PINK UNDERWEAR!"

"Like there's anyone this side of the Mississippi who hasn't seen it already…"

"And trying on maternity clothes."

"You fiend!"

It was at this time the Ouija board burst into flames. Whether it was due to evil spirits or Temari's own plot, the world may never know.

Naruto liked mornings. After he got up, everyone ate, everyone drank coffee (Temari and Neji would sneak espressos), and they were all awake, mornings were nice.

Really. Sure. This was the exception.

"Where the hell is my brush? YOU FUCKING STOLE MY BRUSH!"

"Not me! Neji!"

"What? Hey! Ow!"

"Fuck you!"

"No you!"  
"I hate you, bitch!"

"You suck!"

"And swallow, beat that ho!"

"Oh yeah, I'm the ho, you slept with more guys than me…"

"Yeah right. Nobody can do that."

SLAP.

Naruto really liked mornings. Usually. Today, he hated them. He thought it should just be noon. He briefly debated going back to sleep, but somehow that idea sounded kind of stupid, so he hid in his closet.

"What the hell are you doing in here?"

"Sasuke?" Naruto jumped. "What are _you_ doing in here?"

"Asked you first."

"Hiding from the morning."

"Same."

"When will Temari stop hurting them?" Naruto asked innocently.

"Not really sure. Probably sometime next trimester," Sasuke replied. He chuckled from somewhere in the dark.

"I see…" Naruto mumbled. He didn't, figuratively or otherwise.

"No, you don't."

"No, I don't," Naruto echoed. "How did you sleep?"

"I didn't," Sasuke murmured. "I sat on the roof."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"You know, Sasuke…"

"Hn?"

"I miss you."

The two boys sat in silence. In this dysfunctional family, however, silence is like gold. It never rusts, but it is incredibely malleable. No wait…the omnipresent chemically correct voice needs to go back to its little world of darkness…okay.

Silence never lasts long anyway. Neither does gold, at least in stores.

"NARUTO!" Temari's voice. "RAMEN!"

Naruto opened the closet and skittered out. He raced down the stairs, into the kitchen and sat down at the table, looking up innocently. "Ramenramenramen!" he cried. Temari placed a bowl of soup in front of him.

"It better be good," she growled. "I worked hard on that, right?" she gave Gaara a hard look. Naruto noticed there was a lock on the anti-itch poison oak cream. Temari could be mean. Really, really, really mean. Or nice. But also mean.

"Yes, loving sister, you worked hard," Gaara paused to itch his side, "now can I have the pretty cream?"

"Who is totally the smart one in the family?"

"You are," Gaara answered automatically.

"Who is totally the more sexually desirable one?"

"You are."

"Why?"

"You a-- I mean, because."

Temari unlocked the cream and chucked the tube at Gaara's face.

"Ow."

"Temari?" Naruto asked innocently.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you being so weird?"

"Naruto, if I told you, I'd have to roast you over a spit with chives and soy."

"You are," Naruto answered. Temari raised an eyebrow, but bustled off anyway to go wreck havoc on some other unsuspecting person. Just as long as it's not you, the rule is every person for themselves. Man, actually, every man for themselves, considering the only female was almost always the antagonist.

* * *

They spent all day watching movies. It had started with one, then Temari found Deidara's eight hour long 'J-horror movie marathon' with a note reading 'DO NOT LET REMIKA FIND'. Un. Then they found the Lord of the Rings. So they watches. For hours. Fourteen, actually. No one even noticed until midnight. 

"Um, you guys…" Neji said. "It's almost midnight."

"We spent fourteen hours watching movies?"

"The one entitled 'attack of the lazy author who barely writes at all' as pretty scary."

"The director was bipolar," Temari commented. "Or at least…I think…"

"We don't want to know," Neji mumbled.

"Tomorrow will be more productive," Temari assured the others. "We can actually see the bloody city instead of staying in all day watching illegally copied movies."

"And reruns of the Art Show. Can't forget those."

"Of course. Alright, up to bed." And with that, Temari herded everyone upstairs with her sudden burst of energy (usually she gave Shikamaru's laziness a run for its money).

"I'm not tired," Naruto protested.

"What are you, four?" Temari demanded. "I'm tired. Flipping tired! Critiquing movies tired me. Now lay down, shut up, and sleep."

"You know Temari?"

"Yeah?"

"I see where Gaara gets the slut-like idea."

SLAP.

* * *

**Sorry it sucked...it will return to nice-ness again, when I actually sleep. Yesterday I had a shot of espresso, three cups of coffee and a caramel apple latte. I. Was. Beyond. Help.**

**Review to reawaken the smartness in me. It's so short...I may expand later, so check back one day. I will update tomorrow and it will be normal length.**


	6. Day 6: Library

**Update! NORMAL SIZED! And I finally got around to my Reviewer Insert! **

She no own.

* * *

Naruto woke to the sound of quiet breathing above him. It was night, the air was cold and he could feel the air around him swirling dangerously. When his blue eyes clicked open the blond boy realized he was staring up at Sasuke. Sasuke who was lacking a shirt. 

"Um…" a quick glance at the far wall told Naruto it was nearly three in the morning, "what are you doing?"

"Giving you what you want," Sasuke hissed. The dark haired boy wrestled Naruto's pajama top off and sprawled over the blond boy, their skin suddenly coming into contact. Sasuke slipped his hands downwards, tracing the waistband of Naruto's boxers. '_This is nice,_' Naruto dazed mind thought. '_This is really, really, really, really, really, really, nice._' Sasuke pressed cold, quivering lips against warmer ones.

Naruto could feel Sasuke's fear. That triggered the return of the omnipresent chemically correct voice. Only now it had developed a slightly fake Cantonese accent and had the alias 'reality'. Reality set in. Fear.

"What the hell?" Naruto demanded, his eyes snapping open from their half-lidded stupor. He pushed Sasuke back and slithered out from under him. He could feel the older boy, now slighter as well, tense in his grip. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to be normal," Sasuke replied, glancing down at the floor. His face blushed red with proximity and shame. "Isn't that what you wanted? My body?"

There was a pause.

"No," Naruto said. "I only want what you want…why are you doing this?"

"I don't know. I thought that's what you wanted."

Had Naruto been a deeper person, he might have gotten angry that 'Sasuke didn't really know him'. Naruto was not, however, a deeper person, and had never actually thought that through. He just stared, unfeeling and totally confused.

"That's not an answer," the blond boy retorted, finding his voice.

"You don't love me anymore, so I thought…"

"Who said I didn't love you anymore?" Naruto asked. Sasuke was _confusing_ him.

"Who would?" Sasuke's dark eyes were slowly returning from animalistic to fairly normal. "You want it. I want it."

Naruto blinked a few times. He backed up, reached one arm out, and poked Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke flinched. "You're lying."

Silence.

"Lying."

Silence.

"You know, instead of this you _could_ just talk to me."

Silence.

"Go to sleep. It's good for you," Naruto said finally. "When you wake up, we can talk about it."

"What if I don't wake up?" Sasuke asked. "What if I died?"

Naruto had read about this. Or rather, Temari had read about it, talked about it for days, when no one cared to listen she had made Naruto read it, then talked to him about it for days. This referred to the assumption that you are going to go off and _die_ some horrible death very soon. Instead of assuming you would live to see the next day and that dying would be a somewhat random event, one assumes you will die before the next day and that living would be some random event.

"You're not going to die," Naruto said. He had started to lose empathy for the dark haired boy.

"What if I die in my sleep?"

"Stop acting emo," Naruto chided.

"I'm not emo," Sasuke protested.

"You're right," Naruto concurred. "Emo people are overly sensitive. You have the sensitivity of a rock."

"But--"

"Rock."

Naruto rolled over, shoving his head under the pillow and curling up under the red covers of the bed he occupied. He had just started to drift off when he felt gentle prodding on his left shoulder. The prodding didn't go away.

"Mrugglhunph?" Naruto asked.

"Can I sleep in your bed?" Sasuke asked.

Long pause. '_This is so totally not what I was expecting,_' Naruto mused.

"Sure," he said after a couple of seconds of silence. Where warning bells usually were, little purple lights flashed and played 'Pet Sematary' by The Ramones. Sasuke eased himself onto his back, tucking himself under the covers. He rolled over to face Naruto.

"Night," he breathed.

"Night."

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S OUT?!" 

"Young lady, please refrain from shouting in the library. I'm going to help these people over here now, and for the last time, we do not have the latest issue of that manga." A flustered looking, heavyset woman pivoted at the information desk dividing the arch into the new release/video/young adult alcove. "Can I help you?" she asked, adjusting her red glasses harshly on the end of her nose.

"Could you tell us where--"

"WHEN WILL IT BE BACK?!" demanded the girl. "Amy!"

The lady turned around. "Later."

"AMY!"

"Later! Let me help these people."

"Fine."

"Okay," a now flustered Amy turned back to Temari, Neji, and Shikamaru, the only people who bothered to wait out the girl's screaming. Everyone else had scuttled away to search the manga section, the video section, or find the bathroom. Kiba was currently trying to heist a terrier from the purse of a posh woman who kept getting glares from _real_ Eugene-ians. Naruto was talking to a brunette girl and a guy with a nineteen-inch pink Mohawk. Sasuke was sulking and trying to fend off the preppy girl behind the café counter who would not _shut up_ about the latest Eugene whatever. Whatever. Back to Amy and the rest of the people who care about books.

"Do you happen to have a occult section?" Temari asked, glancing around the cavernous library. Amy nodded.

"Yeah, up the stairs, second floor, shelves on your left, a couple rows back."

"Thanks," Temari said, starting for the huge, spiraling stair case in the middle of the library. Amy turned, eyes bored, to Neji.

"Psychology?" he asked politely.

"Upstairs." She turned to Shikamaru.

"Novels?"

"Upstairs," she said. Shikamaru eyed the stairs suspiciously.

"On second thought, can you point me to the new release section?"

* * *

After the library, they were hungry. This is normal. Now, it would be so much easier if people agreed on food beyond 'NOT TEMARI'S COOKING!'. 

"I want Eugene food," Temari said. "Local."

"Mexican!" Kiba shouted.

"Ramen!"

"Indian."

"American."

"Troublesome."

"Not hungry."

There was a really long pause. Temari sighed. "How about," she suggested, "we eat either Eugene food or Chinese. Everyone likes Chinese. There's a really nice Chinese place called Ocean Sky that I've heard is fabulous."

"No Chinese! We just ate Chinese! That's all we eat!" Naruto protested. "I want ramen!"

"I know," Temari said shortly. "Everyone wants different food. I say we go down to Three Forks, eat there, then spread out our food choices from there. How is that? No complaints! Good. Get in the goddamned car."

They got in the Car, and All was Calm.

Then Temari touched the radio and all hell broke loose.

"Rap!"

"Not rap!"

"Punk!"

"Techno!"

"I--"

"Silence!" Temari snapped. She fiddled with the dials for a few seconds before Phil Vassar started playing through the speakers. There was a monotonous groan from the other occupants of Murphy at Temari's choice of music.

"Not country! I hate country," Naruto complained.

"Until you agree, we listen. Here, compromise." Temari dug out the Dixie Chicks from under the seat of the car. Gaara glared. He wanted to drive. Bitch. Temari popped the CD in. "It's not _just_ country, it's sort of like rock too. If you don't like it, suck my metaphorical--"

"Please, can we just have a peaceful car ride?" Neji asked, cutting the blonde girl off.

Silence.

"But…but…"

"Decree Fourteen: There Shall Never Be A Peaceful Car Ride."

* * *

**I promise that either next chapter or the chapter after, the filler will stop and interesting stuff will happen. I promises. AND not only do I show up, but Dark Angel Lytha, my much loved reviewer (not that you aren't all loved) shows up also (see? I DO say yes to reviewer inserts...)**

**She likey yell at t3h library staff.**


	7. Day 7: Cosmic Pizza

**The day I own this is the day I become a OrochimaruJiraiya shipper.**

**Okay, bad analogy. **

**She doesn't own.**

* * *

"No way. No way. No way. No--"

"The more you say that, the less…well, actually, you saying that isn't going to change the plans. It hasn't worked the past too hours, it won't work now. Deidara told us to go so _we are going_."

"This is mean."

"What do you suggest? And I swear to god Naruto, if you say the word 'techno', I'll rip out your liver." Temari glanced down at her cigarette. Seven pairs of eyes were staring at it. There were two reasons: one, Temari didn't smoke. Really didn't. Two, she wasn't actually smoking it. She was sort of staring at it, waving it in circles, and switching hands. It was weird.

"Temari?" Kiba asked, eyeing her cigarette and cutting off Naruto's reply. "Are you actually going to smoke that? Because you probably--"

"Shut it," Temari barked. "No I'm not going to smoke it. It calms be down just watching it burn to shreds and drop ashes on tables."

"Okay then. So…we going?"

"Why the hell not?" Temari grinned and dropped the cigarette in her empty glass of orange juice and stood, dusted off her tight jeans, and swayed towards the door. "You guys coming? It's fucking _rock music_. You're teenagers. You're supposed to care about that shit."

"You seem to care more than us."

"I'm old," Temari explained. "I'm supposed to be obsessed with all that is youthful."

"You sound like Gai."

"Oh, shove it."

"Lee the Lizard, Lee the Lizard, Lee the Lizard, Clementine…"

Slap.

* * *

Fifteen minutes passed. They drove to a place Temari had stopped in last time they were in Eugene: Cosmic Pizza. Coffee house in the day, club at night. She looked around gleefully and swerved onto the next street, then illegally into the parking lot across the way.

"PARKING! PARKING!"

"It's my job. I drive. No more drive for you."

"PARKING!"

"Parking?"

"Parking…"

"PARKING!"

"Sofa King…"

"Oh, shut it Kiba." Temari turned into a spot outside the club. "PARKING!" she shrieked. "Everyone out! Gaara, it your job now on drive car!"

"Aw, did someone lose speech capability?" Gaara teased.

"Na…" Temari squeaked. "Everyone out, everyone in. Got ID?"

"We have ID. We go in now…"

"Only funny the first time," Temari snapped in return. She ushered the teenagers into Cosmic Pizza. It was big. It was dark. Temari found it slightly disconcerting. Everyone else sort of liked it. Kiba and Gaara went straight for the bar. Neji followed. He had to watch, unfortunately, seeing as he wasn't allowed alcohol as per decree. Oh dear. Tragic.

"You want a smoke?" someone behind Neji asked. Neji turned to face a teenage girl dressed in black and chains. Another girl hung off her arm, dressed in slightly more normal clothes.

"Don't traumatize him," the girl without the cigarette chided. "He looks new."

"Fresh meat," the girl replied. "So, you want it?"

Neji had never been told never to take cigarettes from strangers. I mean, drinks yes, food yes, candy HOLY SHIT THAT WAS POUNDED, but never cigarettes. After all, it was only a cigarette. Neji took the cigarette. The two girls ran off, probably to go do whatever horny teenage girls do when they're drunk, and Neji was left to smoke.

And then he was flying. Maybe it wasn't a cigarette.

"Are you smoking a joint?" Gaara asked, raising one non-existent eyebrow. "Oh my god, you are!"

"A couple of girls handed it to me…"

"Moron! Never take drugs from people you don't know," he slurred, grabbing Neji's smoke and taking a serious drag. "Okay, enough chiding, dance with me? Put that out first though, no singe the hair."

"Sure…"

Poor Neji. Never saw it coming.

They danced for a little while. The club was chaotic, fucking chaotic, not at all like the coffee house it was in the day. Eventually though, Gaara got fed up and decided that dancing didn't involve enough contact. So Gaara took a now dazed Neji by the hand and led him out of Cosmic Pizza and back outside. It was a miracle they managed to cross the street without being run down, but they did it, managed to find Murphy (harder than one might think, even if they had been in the right frame of mind, considering all the hippie vans that existed).

"Hey, we should screw…"

"People can _see_ us, just so you know."

"I know…"

"Then that's bad."

"Didn't say that. Just said I know."

This proceeded for about thirty more seconds until Gaara resorted to ravaging poor Neji's mouth with his. This lasted another thirty seconds until Neji started responding. This lasted another thirty seconds until the events (and hands) went downwards.

When Temari came back to the car because she forgot her cell phone, she thoroughly wished she had just left it. "Disturbing," she growled. "If you're going to screw," she paused to prod the undulating people with her foot, "screw where I'm not going to see it. In car." She unlocked it and stalked off. "Shut the goddamn door."

* * *

Back inside, Naruto was having his own experience. It wasn't quite as far in that direction as Neji and Gaara's, but it was close. As close as you can get when your boyfriend is severely traumatized, suddenly clingy, and drunk off his ass.

"Hey!" Sasuke slurred, drifting over to Naruto. "Dance with me."

"You hate dancing and you hate contact," Naruto observed.

"But you only live once, right?" Sasuke asked, grinning darkly. Naruto sighed.

"You're so going to hate me, you know that right?" Ah the curses of actually knowing what's coming out of your mouth.

"Maybe…" Sasuke swayed, catching himself on Naruto's shoulders. He flinched reflexively but relaxed after a few seconds. Naruto shook his head, helping his friend sit down on one of the many tables that seemed to find its way in Cosmic Pizza.

"You're not acting normal, Sasuke," Naruto explained. Sasuke shrugged.

"Just wanna dance. Dun need ta go all medieval on me fer it." The dark haired boy leaned forward, casting both arms around Naruto's neck and pulling him closer. "You wanna dance?" He closed the gap between their lips and stood up, supporting himself with the blond boy's frame. "Come on," he cooed, breaking for air.

"You're drunk off your ass. You can barely stand up."

"That's why I have you, right?" Sasuke asked. He wrapped his arms around Naruto and grinded against him.

Naruto tried to push him away, but it is a little known fact that slightly tipsy teenage boys have a very low resolve when it comes to stuff like this. Really low resolve. So in the end, Naruto found himself grinding back. This would have been okay had Sasuke not been totally pleasure starved.

"Oh my god…first Neji and Gaara in the bushes. Then Neji and Gaara in the parking lot. Now you guys in the bathroom? This is icky!" Temari complained as Sasuke and Naruto kicked open the bathroom door.

Teenage boys have some resolve, however, and it never did get any further than usual, but it was certainly enough to traumatize the adults out there (assuming they walked into the bathroom, away from the music).

Temari eventually got fed up with waiting, dragging a drunk Shikamaru and a drunker Kiba around, the very idea of Murphy was beyond icky and she wanted to get home before anyone else made a pass for her.

"Hey," she caught the nearest guy by the arm. "Go in there and tell my," she paused, trying not to sound too odd, "brother and his friend to get out of there." She figured brother was just simpler. She checked her wallet. "I'll give you eighteen sixty one."

There was a couple of muffled exchanges, rustling of clothing a slamming of a door, and the guy returning with two very disheveled teenage boys behind him.

"If you happen to have any extra money," he said, "that was so not worth it." He grinned anyway though and walked off nineteen dollars richer. Temari turned her attention on Naruto and Sasuke. Sasuke was nearly passed out and Naruto was struggling to support both of their weights.

"We're going home," she said. "You're getting him out. I have Shikamaru and Kiba." She waved the two boys off and went to go collect her lover and her best friend from the seething mass of hippies and other unmentionable Oregon natives.

Naruto put an arm around Sasuke's waist. "Come on, you're heavy and Temari is angry, you can just tell. Lack of alcohol makes her pissed."

"Yeah yeah…one more kiss?"

"You are seriously scaring me--"

"But I wuv you!" Sasuke broke in.

"--And yet, I have no qualms about doing this again."

* * *

**Sorry I no update...I had a little episode and FF was being mean. If you care, this updating is a little less consistant than Road Trip. Oh well. We survive.**


	8. Day 8: Home Base

**110 reviewer gets a oneshot-like thing…why 110? Because 100 is overused! Hnph! (That, and someone reviewed to 100 before I could post this chapter :sweat drop: I'm giving that person a oneshot too…I just need to write it…). If you're not nice about it, you get nada. **

I no own.

* * *

"So now what?"

"Go watch TV."

"All we get is the art channel!"

"Then go hang around outside."

"It's windy and cold!"

"Sixty three is not cold…go use Deidara's computer."

"His internet is slow."

"Go suck off--"

"On second thought, I think I really like glass blowing!" And with that, Naruto was gone, leaving a very angry Temari in his wake. Why angry? Up since six in the morning, throwing up, and lacking sleep, Temari was closer to dead than Orochimaru was, and he was in prison. Or at least, they all thought he was. Kabuto might have been whatever Kabuto might have been, but he was loyal and clever and had probably gotten the snake-like man out of jail already. Of course, no one felt like telling Sasuke that. But anyway, hence angry Temari.

"Glass blowing is for wimps!" Temari shouted after the receding blond boy. "Real men crochet!" She glared and started upstairs. It was nearly time for breakfast (considering everyone usually stayed up until two in the morning and slept until noon), and the afternoon sun was making Temari want to cook breakfast. She climbed the stairs to Gaara's room and tried the door. Locked. Fishing around in her pockets, taking out the skeleton key Remika had left her, she opened the door.

"OH MY GOD!"

"Wha-- Temari! Get the hell out!"

"Lock the door next time!"

"We did lock it! You picked it!"

"No, Deidara left me a skeleton key!"

"Still! GET OUT!"

There was the sound of a door slamming, Temari screaming 'my eyes are BLEEDING' and then, silence.

Silence in that house is a really bad, bad sign.

* * *

"We locked the door!" Neji cried. Everyone was either on their knees or upside down, and Temari was incredibely happy about it. She collapsed on the couch, grinning maliciously, and kicked up her feet on the glass table.

"You missed a spot Gaara," she purred. Gaara looked up from the floor, glaring through the glass.

"I don't see you doing any work."

"It's not good for pregnant women to do that sort of work."

"Slave-driver."

"Here, this should help you in your quest," she said, throwing a bottle at Gaara's head. Gaara rubbed his skull, picked up the bottle and sprayed it, rubbing at the spot with the edge of his shirt.

"I hate you," he growled.

"Oh…but you guys clean the house better than anyone else I know!" she cried jubilantly. "Kiba, you missed a spot." Kiba glared but rubbed at the window harder.

"Shikamaru, did you clean the glass table?"

"I thought about it. That should count for partial credit."

"You're hopeless!" Temari cried, throwing up her hands in annoyance. "Naruto, there's still dirt all over the floor."

"Wh-- oh, that's not dirt, that's…um…art."

"Put the 'art' in the big gallery in the sky." Temari pointed to the trashcan. "Grah! You're all useless." She threw up her arms and stalked around the island in the kitchen. Naruto dumped the lint into the trashcan and opened one of the drawers.

"Hey! Look at this!" Naruto pulled out a metal, technological-looking cork screw. "This would make a great weapon!"  
"Not really…" Temari observed.

"It would hurt so bad!" Naruto protested.

"So would a brick. I know, I know, they labeled bricks weapons of mass destruction when we invaded Iraq, but that doesn't mean a brick makes a good weapon. Now put it back and go clean the walls in the hallway."

"But I don't _want_ to."

"Naruto, you have a real affinity for cleaning. You should cultivate that."

"Are you saying that because you mean it, or to get me to clean the house more often?"

"Both."

* * *

"Now what?" Naruto asked, leaning against the counter for support.

"The house is clean."

"Yeah, Temari, we know," Kiba growled. "Now what do we do?"

"The house is clean."

"Yes Tema--"

"The house is clean and I didn't do it! In fact, all I did was SIT ON MY ASS!" she cried, twirling madly. "Oh my god, it's like, the fucking apocalypse! I'M SO HAPPY! Hey Shika, let's go have wild, passionate monkey sex!"  
And then she fainted.

"Is she _okay?_" Naruto asked, prodding her with his foot. "I mean, she just sort of…fell…"

"We call that fainting Loser."

"She looked really happy," Naruto observed in response. "Should we drag her upstairs?"

"Hn. We could. Or we could leave her."

"Sasuke! That wasn't very nice," Naruto shot back.

"We could bring her up to her room…" Kiba suggested. He bent down, put his arms around her, and attempted to lift her. A couple of seconds passed, Kiba turned red with strain, and he dumped her on the couch. "Or we could leave her. She is _heavy_. Someone needs to lay off all the udon!"

"I can fucking hear you," a still unconscious Temari growled in her sleep.

"We leave her," Kiba decided. He _sashayed_ off and into the kitchen. "Now food time!" he cried. "All that cleaning made me hungry."

"Um," Naruto glanced back at a comatose Temari. "Okay. Make ramen."

And so continued the world that now temporarily lacked Temari. Oh well. She was being bitchy anyway. Kiba started making bacon, even though it was almost three in the afternoon. He also made beef and chicken, which he found in the back of Deidara's refrigerator (probably _way_ past the expiration date).

It was nasty. But it was Temari-less. And so it was good.

When Temari came too, no one felt inclined to tell her what she had said in her moment of unbridled joy of not having cleaned the house herself. They just inched away, left her alone, and started for their respective rooms.

"You think she'll end up stuck like this forever?" Kiba asked, casting a glance at Naruto.

"Maybe. I hope not."

"What happens after this is over? Because at the end of the last great adventure we took, Sasuke was traumatized and Temari was turning into someone we don't even know. Not necessarily bad, sometimes it was, just…different."

"I don't know. If I knew what would happen last time when we were heading home, we'd still be on the road, Temari would be the same, and Sasuke wouldn't be mortally afraid of the world."

"Then I guess we don't know."

"No."

"Will we ever?"

"I don't think so. I wish I did though."

"You know, Temari barely talks to me anymore," Kiba observed. Naruto shrugged.

"Sasuke doesn't talk to me."

"It changes, I guess. The best we can do is hope it'll go back to normal."

"And if it doesn't?"

"We hope it does."

* * *

**You were totally thinking dirty thoughts. Somewhere. Maybe. Or not. So...number 110 gets some form of consolation prize. Whatevers. **


	9. Day 9: Home Base

**Oneshots that I owe people will be coming out SOON. SOON. I am going to write a slightly easer-related oneshot and I have this odd feeling it might turn out to be one of the oneshots I owe someone (sorry if that made no sense). Anyway, my mother has this HATRED and ANXIETY over Easter. It's kind of disturbing. I mean, my dad watched the Ten Commandments (the old hokey version) EVERY SINGLE YEAR. My mom just can't handle Moses being the head of the Nation Rifle Association (the actor is head of such...)**

**No own.**

* * *

Sabaku Temari glared angrily at Kiba, eyes narrowed and jaw set. She pressed the hells of her foot against the stucco wall. She had the momentum to pounce if needed. Kiba didn't look alarmed in the least. Concerned maybe, but not alarmed. 

"You're going to stay in today," he said firmly. "You're clearly overworked. Shikamaru, Gaara, Neji and I are going out. Naruto and Sasuke too, if they feel like coming, but you are staying in."

"Why? I'm not sick!" Temari growled back.

"You're stressed. That's as bad. Go upstairs and take a nap."

"Since when are you my mother?"

Kiba shrugged. "Since you looked like you needed one."

"But," Temari protested, "my mother died, and when she died, she left me and Gaara and Kankuro to an abusive father with a habit of blaming Gaara for her death. Don't be my mother, be my friend."

"As your friend, I order you to go to your room and take a nap."

"Use archaic English."

"As thy friend, I order thee to go to thy room and take a nap."

"Thee should have been thou, but I'll take it." Temari grinned. "Have fun." She kissed Kiba's cheek quickly and scampered up to her room. The door slammed upstairs and no more was heard from Temari.

Kiba stood frozen, hand over his cheek, stunned. Whether it was at Temari's willingness to comply or if it was the fact that she had kissed him on the cheek. The last time she had done that, she had been twelve and he had skinned his knee. She had kissed his knee, then his cheek, and then bandaged the horrendous, gushing, life threatening wound and been done with it.

From somewhere in the shadows, Shikamaru was glaring.

* * *

Five minutes after Gaara, Neji, Kiba and Shikamaru left, Temari woke up from her supposed nap and cornered Sasuke and Naruto. "I have a favor to ask of you guys," she said.

"Is it cleaning the house?" Sasuke demanded. "Because I don't care what you want to do to me, I've been through a hundred times worse, I will never clean this house again unless there's a damn good reason."

"Oh no," Temari growled. "I just need the keys to Deidara's emergency vehicle."

"No way," Sasuke said. "No way. He told me not to give those to anyone, ever no matter what." Dark eyes flashed. Naruto wrinkled his nose.

"Why did he trust you?" the blond boy asked. "I mean, Gaara I can understand, or Neji, or me, but why you?"

"Because Loser," Sasuke growled. "It was in case Gaara was out with Murphy, which he would be, Deidara barely knows Neji, and no one ever trusts you, ever."

"Am I not trustworthy?"

"CAR KEYS! I'm not going to be left behind because Kiba is being paranoid!" Temari hit Sasuke's shoulder. He hissed, the right side of his body tensing up.

"Underneath the bacon," Sasuke muttered. "Go." Temari shot him a glare and disappeared into the kitchen. Naruto and Sasuke watched her leap out and disappear into the garage. Seconds later a bright red van came swooping out, charging down the street, and the two boys were left in the house all alone.

"Is she losing it, or do all women get like this?" Naruto asked.

"Hn." Sasuke turned on his heel and started back for the house. He pushed through the open door, painted red and chipped from where Temari threw it open. He walked slowly through the yellow kitchen, the teal dining room and into the red and black living room. He collapsed on the ebony leather couch in defeated exhaustion. Naruto followed, sitting beside him.

"Are you alright?" the blond boy asked. He bit his lip timidly. Sasuke stared blankly past him, eyes glazing over as if he were hidden deep in thought. Eventually the question seemed to register on the pale boy.

"Fine. As fine as one can expect to be, you know?"

"Yes. No. Not really."

"Maybe?"

"Maybe."

"That's good enough for me, I suppose."

"Did you want to raid Deidara's movie collection?" Naruto asked, brightening. He jumped up and bounced into the adjoining den, which was beige. Beige futon. Beige shelves. Beige television cabinet. At least the TV itself was a dark grey.

Sasuke followed. "What is there to watch?" he asked. Naruto surveyed the movies.

"We could watch the Sound of Music."

"Why that?" Sasuke asked. Naruto shrugged.

"It's labeled 'NLCNTFALACAPBSWSOABVTFBSWMALAWASELOATNFBRB'." Naruto pointed at the sticky note authoritatively. Sasuke looked confused.

"What does that stand for?" he asked.

"I don't know," Naruto admitted. He glanced around the room. Eventually his eyes spotted the 'Abbreviation Conversion Chart' on one of the walls. "Oh…it stands for 'Never Let Chasmodai Near This Film As Long As Children Are Present Because She Will Shout Obscenities At Baron Von Trapp For Being Sexist While Maria Acts Like A Wimp And Shout Even Louder Obscenities At The Nazis For Being Racist Bastards'."

"As long as Chasmodai isn't here, I guess it's okay to watch it then."

By the end of the movie, Naruto was singing along, music interspersed with comments one whatever. Sasuke made a note to change the abbreviation to include Naruto in the category.

"Okay…dinner? They're not back yet. Ramen?"

"No."

"Pizza? They left us money!"

"As long as it's not our money."

* * *

They ate in silence and went upstairs. Eventually everyone else returned, Temari was dragged upstairs by Shikamaru, Kiba and Gaara, and everyone got ready for bed. Naruto brushed his teeth, Sasuke washed the gel out of his hair, and they each lay down on their respective beds.

"Hey Sasuke?"

"What?"

"Do you think they would ever come for us?"

Sasuke tried incredibely hard _not_ to snicker. "No. Go to sleep."

"But what about neo-Nazis?"

Temari, who was just walking by, poked her head in. "Not a lot of Nazis here. There's a kid in my friend's class whose stepfather was in the KKK back in Georgia, but he left it. Nope, all the Nazis suddenly make people forget about gun control."

"Kankuro would have fun with that."

"Yes. Yes he would. Now go to s-- hey! I'm going!" she was interrupted as Gaara prodded her with a broom handle. "Night all…this is so the last time I ever get left behind…hey! Ow!"

"Temari would totally pick off all the Nazis sniper style. Don't worry about it."

Naruto had dreams of Temari in a nun outfit.

He woke up in a cold sweat and couldn't get back to sleep until morning.


	10. Day 10: Eugene

**Happy Easter...I wrote my oneshot for my hundreth reviewer. My mother has Easter anxiety and therefore so does Mikoto Uchiha.**

**I only don't own Naruto and Remika. The rest MINE. ALL MY BLOODY BASTARDS!**

* * *

"Today! TODAY IS TODAY!" The sound of Temari shrieking woke everyone, besides Gaara, Naruto and Temari, who were already awake. It was noon, so no one really had claim to sleep any more. Naruto had woken up two hours previous to Temari singing 'the hills are alive'. First he had thought it was another dream, but then he had realized it was 'the hills are alive with the sound of screaming'. He vaguely remembered seeing that movie in Deidara's video cabinet. It was labeled 'AHKOOROR'. It stood for 'Asian Horror, Keep Out Of Range Of Remika'. Not a dream. Alas. 

"What's today?" a coherent Gaara asked. Temari rounded on him, grinning maniacally.

"Today we go see that one country concert Deidara left us tickets to."

"Great," Gaara said, rolling his eyes. "Just what we need. Country music."

"No…" Naruto groaned. "Not…country…rather…die…"

"Then fire up the arsenic bitches, because that's the other choice," Temari returned promptly.

"What if I'm sick?"

"Hun, you had better be dying."

"What constitutes dying?"

"You're blue and I'm collecting insurance."

That shut Naruto up real fast. Temari bustled over to the pots and pans to begin making a hearty breakfast for her motley crew (she had come up with that terminology herself, with the help of the silence that had taken up residence in her wallet).

"Breakfast anyone?" Temari asked as Kiba stumbled in a few minutes later.

"Yeah, sure-- ARE YOU COOKING BACON?!"  
Temari sniffed the pan she held. "Yup. Bacon and eggs."

"Are you going to eat any of the bacon?" Kiba asked suspiciously. Temari shook her head.

"Still a vegetarian, but willing to cook for my favorite guys on the planet." She grinned, serving meat to everyone seated. For the first time in so long, they could eat some kind of normal food and not have to leave the house or offend Temari.

"So, agenda?" Gaara asked, looking around the table.

"Seven, concert," Temari said. "Other than that, it's all you guys."

"So, seven concert. If we ate lunch around four, we'd be done around five, with two hours to spare. I say we get there a half hour early to find decent seats and parking place, so we have an hour and a half to spare.

"That gives us time to possibly walk along that bike trail--"

"To the middle of bloody nowhere!" Kiba shot back. "How about we leave at five, same schedule. We can loiter here until then and the world will be happy and I can go back to sleep."

"Why so tired Kiba?" Naruto asked with a giggle. "Temari keep you awake." Kiba and Temari shot him glares. Shikamaru muttered 'troublesome' under his breath, as per usual. What no one saw, however, was just how afraid he was that Naruto was right.

So it was settled. Kiba went to sleep, Sasuke went to sulk, Temari went to write, Shikamaru went to read, Gaara and Neji went off to do inappropriate stuff in Remika's closet, and Naruto went to memorizing all of Deidara and Remika's video labels.

From what he could gather, Chasmodai was a frequent guest (moocher) who liked J-horror (though her realm did extend to K-horror), yelling at movies with social issues, and independent films. Fahrenheit 451 ('CMBPTFOLOR', Chasmodai May Be Prone To Fits Of Laughter Or Rage) , Little Miss Sunshine ('MCRIPWOHFOF', Mostly Chasmodai, Remika Is Permitted Within One Hundred Feet Of Film), and all the Asian Horror Films (all labeled 'AHKOOROR', Asian Horror Keep Out Of Range Of Remika) were there, labeled in blue and corresponding neatly to the chart on the wall. Remika seemed to hate all Asian films and love strange, seemingly spastic movies. And Monty Python. That was labeled 'MP'. Own label. Deidara's films were art related. The post-its were written in too different kinds of handwriting, both fairly feminine, and all said 'DDKS'. Dei-Dei-Kun's Shit.

Naruto ended up watching Dumplings. He should have known delving into Chasmodai's video collection would be stupid. He should have guessed. But no, he just went along anyway. Dumplings it was. He popped the movie in and hit play.

When it was over, he swore he would _always_ read the backs of whatever he watched. Dumplings was scary shit K-horror. Abortion? Naruto could feel his eyes burning. Sixty four year old women who look thirty five? Ashes on the ground. Incest? Blowing out of the den and onto the winds. Promiscuous behavior? He swore never, ever to ever watch Chasmodai's labeled movies without a thorough background check. Ever.

"Sasuke!" he cried, running upstairs and into the room he was sharing with Sasuke. It was a nice periwinkle color. "Sasuke! I just saw the scariest movie ever…"

"You watched Barney's Christmas?"

"Okay, I watched the second scariest!"

"J-horror?"

"K-horror."

"Similar really. What was it called?"

"Dumplings."

Sasuke burst out laughing. It was a barking, dry, humorless laugh, but it was a laugh. "You watched dumplings? By yourself? Alone? And your eyes are intact?"

"Barely."

"The guy knocks up his masseuse."

"Eyes intact by the will of the universe."

* * *

Twanging guitar music flittered down from the stage. A redheaded woman with a Texan accent sang loudly, strumming her beaten up wooden guitar for all it was worth, tapping her foot and glancing out into the audience every once in a while. 

"When we were young we swore we'd stay together near and far, I see now we were stupid, but when we are gonna split, I get the car…"

"When we split," Neji said suddenly, turning to Gaara, "I get the car."

"Never. Going. To. Split." It was love folks, but for Neji or Murphy, no one will ever know.

The redheaded woman finished the last stanza about how she was going to take the car from her lying, no-good cheating stealing husband and bowed her head. She said a few garbled words into the microphone about her next song and began one of those horrible songs that plays on the radio just when you need it too. Or don't.

"It was my shoulder you cried too,

When you found out her lie,

My hand you held too,

When she said goodbye,

I used to keeping waiting for you to see me,

But then I started seeing the way it seems to be,

You won't hold my hand unless someone broke up with you,

I wonder now what's independent girl to do,

Should I run and not let you get away,

Let you hide in the sunset we share for another day,

Or should I do what we do out on ranches in Rio,

I could hit the road in Harley named Leo.

I once would have run all the way to St. Louie,

From the college of finding I got a degree,

But maybe I'll just leave you in dust and the dirt and the rain,

Leave you by yourself and save me the pain,

I have to win some medal for tracking you down,

Chasing you from rancho to rancho and town to town,

I pray to the goddess and end without amen,

Never gonna go and chase another man again,

I could wish it weren't this way,

When I wake up in the morning we can share another day,

Or I could do what we do out on ranches in Rio,

I could hit the road in a Harley named Leo."

The song ended.

"Hey Naruto, could I talk to you for a second?" Sasuke asked politely. Naruto looked up from the place he had fixed his eyes on the floor.

"Sure," he said, standing up and following Sasuke into a slightly secluded corner. "What is it?"

"I was wondering if tomorrow…you wanted to go out with me?"

"No matter where you go and no matter what you do,

I want you to know that I'll always love you."

* * *

**Lt. Commander Richie (who owns Remika) REFUSES to watch any Asian film with me (at least, horror films, but I'm working on it!) and therefore...the labeling system was born. Dumplings is scary shit. Watch it when you want twisted. I'm volunteering at the Asian Film Festival in my city later this month, and at the meet and greet this lady said 'I like twisted...Dumplings or Tale of Two Sisters'. I was thinking 'I know those movies'. Both Korean (K-Horror) and both seriously wicked awesome.**

**I'm going to drag Lt. Commander Richie to the film festival and make her watch Asian American films. No horror. Roger Fan is going to be there...I'm going to be near him...and I get to see films that won't be in theatres for a bazillion years. Yay volunteer work. (Google 'Disorient Film Festival'. The poster, if only the poster, is wicked).**


	11. Day 11: Library

**Finally! Oh well, 3 day weekend, lots of updating now! **

**She no own.**

* * *

"Good morning bitches."

"Can I help you?" Temari asked. She stood in the doorway, staring at the teenager on her stoop. "With an attitude like that, I might change my mind."

"Oh, shove it. I just want my Dumplings and I'll be gone." A average height teenager stared at Temari, her bright blue eyes giving off that 'how's it hanging bitch?' attitude.

"How rude…" Temari murmured.

"Hey bitches ho bitches, how do you do? You did me and I did you--"

"What, no cheer?" Kiba asked, appearing behind Temari.

"I don't cheer."

"You just sing about doing girls?" Temari asked.

"I wouldn't mind doing you," the girl said.

She was gone so fast, she barely had time to register she had 'Dumplings' in her grasp. It worked every time, didn't it? Of course. Just make an off-color remark and they give you whatever you ask for. Remember that.

Kiba slammed the door.

"Who was that?" he demanded. "She is scary."

"Didn't you check the movies list?"

"Dude," Kiba said. "Japanese and Korean Horror movies. Hinata is too far away to have someone to cuddle with. That totally defeats the purpose of watching them and braving the scary chicks with long, black hair and wires. WIRES!"

"Hm…you could always have me clutch you frantically. I remember that time we watched Ringu. Good times, good times."

Kiba snorted. "You just watched it like it was Barney. Everyone but you and Sasuke was screaming. Naruto practically had a nervous breakdown."

"Like I said," Temari replied coyly, "good times."

From the shadows, Shikamaru muttered 'troublesome'. Some part of him though, muttered other words.

* * *

"So where are we going?"

"Out."

"Where?"

"Out."

"Where is out?"

"I don't know yet."

"Okay."

Sasuke sighed. It was hard to deal with an incredibely hyper Naruto. It wasn't that he didn't love the blond boy, that wasn't it, it was just that the blond boy in question was just so hyper. If Sasuke had been him, now that the dark-haired boy thought about it, he would have probably been really excited too. '_I guess I have been distant._' He snickered at himself. '_Distant is the understatement of the year,_' he mused darkly.

"We can head to the library," Sasuke suggested. Naruto cocked his head to one side. "Café, you know? What we got there when we were here back in March was pretty good."

"Yeah," Naruto agreed, brightening significantly.

"Then come on." Sasuke opened the glass doors and slunk inside, Naruto at his heels. The two boys found a place in the back of the café. Naruto left Sasuke to guard the table and went off to get food. This was disaster on so many levels.

Sasuke rested both elbows on the table, watching the people. One of them was a slightly flamboyant teenager with pink hair who was talking excitedly to a boy with black hair and a ponytail…black hair and a ponytail? Sasuke rubbed his eyes nervously. Still there. The pony-tailed boy was leaning against one of the windows, the cloth of his black jacket pressed against the glass. Sasuke blanched. '_Just ignore it. Either you're hallucinating, or it's some innocent guy who shouldn't be bothered._' Somehow, however, the logical part of his brain couldn't quench his fears.

"Hey…Sasuke…" Naruto's voice sounded far away. Sasuke shook his head, breaking the spell, and focused his eyes on the blond boy, who had returned with cookies, a bagel, a coffee and a soda.

"Bagel?" Sasuke asked, arching one long, black eyebrow. Naruto shrugged, grinning still.

"The lady behind the counter really wanted me to get it," he said, shrugging. "You want some of it? I know you like them."

Sasuke raised a questioning eyebrow. "What makes you say that?" He felt like he was interrogating the boy, not going out with him.

"Oh, you know, you always brought them to school. I mean, I guess I just assumed…"

"I liked them," Sasuke assured the younger boy quickly, ripping off a small piece of bagel and popping it into his mouth. "I used to buy them for a couple dollars on that freaky off campus bagel store." Sasuke popped another piece of bagel into his mouth.

"Oh. Why didn't you ever drag me along? I always had to sneak around…"

"I had to pick up…other items."

"Oh."

"You should have gone with Gaara. Your guardian adored him. Asshole."

"Gaara or him?"

"Him."

"Yeah…"

"Why do you ask dumb questions like that?" Sasuke asked. He drew his black eyes into slits. "I mean, it's like you really want to talk to me. So bad you'll ask dumb questions."

"You never talk to me otherwise."

"Hm…we can change that, huh? No more dumb questions."

"Okay!"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Good. Now let's go upstairs to the second floor and hide out by the books on Satanism," Sasuke suggested. Naruto considered.

"No, there are all the teenagers who think Satanism is cool and in keeping with their whole 'I hate Christianity because it's the norm. And I'm pretending to be a bisexual'. Stupid."

"Stupid," Sasuke agreed. "I wonder if they would change their mind if they saw a couple of guys making out up there."

"The library would thank you!" shouted the Barista. "I swear, every time I see one of them, I feel like puking on their ugly-ass shoes and turning their quaint little necks Grudge-style."

"Broken heart?"

"Shattered bitches."

* * *

Sasuke and Naruto sat upstairs, facing each other. Indeed, hidden behind the books on Satanism, they sat, knees drawn up, in complete and total silence despite the people around them making noise. It was just the two of them, Sasuke resting his head on a book about the pentagram and Naruto resting his head on a book about the dogma.

The smell of musty books swirled around them in circles, wafting over their skin, undoubtedly leaving imprints that would exist even after they left the library and went out in the stiff summer breeze. It smelled old and otherworldly, as if they had found their way to some other, strange time. The perfume of college students from the town university pooled on the floor and the cologne of frat boys covering up a night of partying sunk into the floor. The smells clung to the two boy's clothes, refusing to let go.

"Can I ask you a question?"

The sound of keyboards tapping ricocheted off the pages. The tap of the librarians heel against the carpeted floor. An elderly woman climbing the stairs slowly, her bones creaking and her cane tapping out a waltz: one two three, one two three. Chains clinked in step to heavy footfalls. A phone slamming down, another snapping shut with a quick 'goodbye' and another sliding open with a swift 'hello, mom?' For a place supposed to be quiet, it sure was loud in there.

"Shoot."

The florescent lights burned down on the blue carpeting. A tall blond girl swished by, her arms entwined with her jock boyfriend's. Pink hair fluttered by. Blue jeans walked past the aisle. Chains glittered in the blue tinted light. The gold flecked white stairs glimmered in the same light. A computer screen flashed a rainbow of webpage colors.

"Do you still love me?"

Carpet pricked under fingertips, crunching back under shoes to provide traction. The metal strip where the limestone white and rug blue was cold under the hands of a little boy that tripped. His hand slipped from his mother's and he tumbled to the floor, skinning his knee in the process. Sasuke pressed his head against the book and Naruto did the same.

"Always."

The tow boys could taste the heavy perfume of the librarian as she swished by. Onion bagel bits assaulted Sasuke's tongue. Flecks of abandoned hazel nuts played over Naruto's teeth. On the other side of the expansive room, one of the men playing chess took a sip of tea.

Sasuke and Naruto leaned forward at the same time. Their lips connected gently. Electricity jolted through the two of them, nearly knocking them apart. Of course, almost is an operative word. Sasuke pushed Naruto against the bookshelf, assaulting the younger boy's tongue with his own. They lay on the blue carpet, thoroughly making out.

Sasuke couldn't remember the last time they had done this. It had been a long time. Too long in his opinion. '_How could I ever not trust him? Doubt that I would ever love him?_' he asked himself.

They were interrupted though. It had to happen, or they would have totally had sex in the Satanism section which, as it happens, is right next to the paganism and Wiccan section and shares a wall with astral projections and part of the Christianity section. You can't have sex there. Besides, the librarian would have had an aneurism.

"Yeah, and then I was all, 'I'm a bisexual Satanist' and she was all-- oh my god!"

Naruto and Sasuke broke apart. Neither really noted the fact that they had their hands up each other's shirts or that Sasuke was straddling Naruto's hips in the middle of a public library.

"Yeah?" Sasuke asked the two girls who had interrupted, dark eyes mildly annoyed. "Did you want a book?"

"No, looking for a book on Catholicism," squeaked the 'bisexual Satanist'. "You know, have to brush up!" She shuffled away frantically. "I should have said 'I'm a straight Catholic'…" she hissed.

"Loser."

"Shall we?"

"Of course."

The librarian decided that as long as it was PG-13, she didn't care what went on in the Satanism section. It wasn't her problem anyway.

* * *

**I showed up multiple times...I think...oh well. Also, no offence to ANYONE. There really is a Satanism section (though I THINK the Christianity section is across the computer aisle, but I haven't been there in a while). There really are people like that. It's annoying. They block my path to t3h astral projections section.**

**Review!**


	12. Day 12: Airport

**One word: Airport. **

**I no own.**

* * *

"Guess who's here!" Kankuro exclaimed, his voice shifting through the phone. "You'll never guess."

"I'm sure I won't," Temari replied, rolling her eyes at her brother. "Hitler?"

"No! Hinata!"

Kiba perked up. When Shikamaru noticed this, he looked positively giddy. Bet you didn't think he could look giddy, did you? Did you, punk? "She's there?"

"Yup!" Kankuro cried. Neji perked up. "Well," the Sabaku boy continued, "she said she wanted to see you guys. Mostly Kiba, Neji and Naruto, but everyone else is loved too."

"So when are you guys getting here?" Temari asked. She knew her brother's routine. It was annoying. It involved making up that demon futon in the living room.

"Six hours," Kankuro replied sheepishly. "We're sort of calling from the airport."

"You drug my cousin to an airport?!"

"You drug my girlfriend to an airport?!"

"You're in an airport with a minor?!"

"You're in an airport with a monkey?!"

There was a long pause.

"What?"

* * *

"They said yes," Kankuro said, hanging up his cell phone. Hinata smiled.

"Oh good," she said, tapping her index fingers together. They were waiting patiently in line for their bags to be checked. Kankuro itched the edge of his face and pulled at one of the hairs hidden below his hood where he had accidentally dipped a few strands in purple makeup.

"Next please."

Kankuro pushed his suitcase ahead of him. He scanned his ticket in.

"I'm sorry sir, can I please see some ID?" the perky woman behind the counter asked, pointing a long finger at Kankuro. Kankuro groaned, pulling out his wallet, followed by his driver's license. The woman behind the counter stared at it skeptically. "Sir, are you aware that the charge for fraudulent ID is up to--"

"Not a fake ID," Kankuro said calmly. He pushed Hinata forward. "She has ID too. She doesn't even drink! She blushes when you get too close to her face!" Kankuro leaned in, his nose almost brushing Hinata's. Hinata turned red like clockwork. "Does she look like some one who would travel with a terrorist to you?"

"Not really," the woman said. "Your nose just looks smaller in the picture." She handed Kankuro and Hinata their boarding passes. "Have a nice flight!" she chirped. Hinata waved shyly back at her and Kankuro plotted her death.

They were waiting in line again, this time to check in their carry-on bags. Hinata was staring at her shoes and Kankuro was staring at the far wall. Finally, their turn came. Kankuro began unloading all the metal on his person: chains, jewelry, house keys. He passed through the metal detectors…

…Which promptly went off.

"Sir, we're going to have to frisk you," a burly man said. "Will you please hold still?"

"What?" Kankuro demanded. "What's wrong with the clicky metal detectors?"

"Sir, please hold still…"

"But I don't want to be frisked!" Kankuro wailed.

"Sir, we're going to have to ask you to--"

"Fine. Whatever. How come you aren't frisking her?" he demanded, pointing at Hinata. Her earrings had set off the alarm and so a kind-looking older woman was scanning her down with a metal scanner.

The man cracked his knuckles. Kankuro admitted defeat. He ended up having to take off his shoes, his jacket, and his hood. It was demeaning, he decided, and one day the frisker would be frisked by the frisked. Then Kankuro decided Temari would undoubtedly shoot him for thinking up a horrible sentence like that and that the grammar police just weren't worth it.

"Would passengers in rows one through nine please board now? One through nine." The voice echoed through the nearly empty terminal. Kankuro and Hinata sat utterly alone on one of the plastic seats.

Kankuro approached the front desk. The woman looked perkily back at him.

"Could we board?"

"Are you in rows one through nine?" she asked. Kankuro looked back and forth.

"No, we're in row--"

"Then no," the woman replied. Her voice was perky. Too perky. Unnaturally perky. Voices weren't normal like that.

"We're in row ten and there's no one else here."

"Sir, please sit down and wait for your row to be called."

"But we're in row--"

"Sir, please sit down."

"And there's no one--"

"Sir, I am warning you one last time, please sit down."

"But--"

"Sir, do I have to called security?" the woman threatened. "I would like you to please sit down until your rows are called." She looked down at her watch and paused. Just as Kankuro sat down on the vinyl chair across the terminal, the woman picked up her loud speaker and called out, "Now boarding all rows. Boarding all rows now."

As Kankuro passed by, he shot her a look so dark, so scathing, the flesh looked about to peel off the woman's face. Temari would have been proud. 'No one should wear miniskirts like some fashion obsessed clone trying to win the attention of men before rejecting them to live alone with their thirty-seven cats because they're afraid of commitment, heartbreak, or possibly their sexuality'.

Kankuro drug his suitcase down the terminal to the plane. Hinata followed him closely. Strangely, probably defying the laws of at least a hundred physics, the plane was packed. Apparently, it had just come from Seattle and people had just stayed on. This meant death. Or, at the very least, whiny kids for many hours. Kankuro sighed and found his seat, trading tickets with Hinata so she could have the window. It was the least he could do for the girl he thought of as a little sister. '_Funny,_' he mused, '_that her boyfriend is protective of my sister, and I'm so protective of Hinata._'

Then the baby in front of him threw up.

'_At least it's not on me,_' he thought. '_But other than that, can't get much worse._'

As he remembered the name of his brother's van, the baby in front of him started crying.

* * *

"Peanut?" Hinata asked shyly.

"Why the hell would I want peanuts? I don't want no fucking peanuts! You know why? They're nuts! NUTS! And if I were to say 'nuts', the old people behind us will hit the back of my seat with their spam-colored legs!" He turned back to glare at them for emphasis. The old woman nailed him in the face with her cane.

"Be nicer to your sister!" she ordered. Then, fixating her dark eyes on Hinata, she continued, "make sure to hit him when he's cruel to you darling. It's good for men to know their place in society instead of prancing around like they own the place."

"Oh, he's never cruel to me," Hinata assured the old woman. "And if he was, my boyfriend would probably take care of it."

"Some brother he is," she snorted.

"He's not my brother, just my best friend. His sister is my boyfriend's best friend though. And his brother is my cousin's boyfriend."

The woman looked confused. Then she nailed Kankuro in the face again, bonking him on his already red, inflamed nose. "All the more reason to treat her right," she snapped, turning her eyes back to her book on the exploration of the Mayan, Incan, and Aztec Empires.

"Yes ma'am," Kankuro muttered, slinking into his seat. "Can I have one of those peanuts Hinata?" He received a sharp rap on the back of his seat. "May I _please_ have one of those peanuts Hinata?"

"Good boy. You get a cookie."

"But I wanted a peanut…"

* * *

**The horror that is the airport.**

**Will the escape:cough:Review:cough: Find out next time! Which will probably be tomorrow...**


	13. Day 13: Airport

**I was going to update yesterday. Really. And then FF wouldn't let me.**

**You know, to fly from New York to California my family and I had to go Albany to Chicago BACK TO BOSTON and then straight to Los Angeles. I give you my story, west coast with Kankuro. Except Kankuro and Hinata don't have to wait in a grounded plane for 2 hours while they try and 'fix it' before being told to change planes because they can't fix it and then have that plane come four horus later. 34 hours from California to New York and back. Instead of 12/13. **

I no own. I also dirty stealer who took a couple of airport experiences from my beloved reviewers. Cute, ain't I? (Which is, technically, correct grammar).

* * *

"You have to be kidding me."

Kankuro stood at the flashing red flight schedule, staring in horror. Pure, unadulterated horror. Stop over? Stop over. Stop over! The words played in six different languages. One of them sounded like Sanskrit.

"Kankuro?" Hinata asked timidly. "Are you okay?"

"No! No I am not okay!" he snapped. "It's midnight and once again our plane is delayed. They are telling us that we have to fly to Las Vegas and go from there, or we're going to have to drive. I'm not driving in some rental car!"

"We could fly…" Hinata suggested.

"That's what I intend to do! Why me? WHY ME?! Remind me to smash my brother's car when I get to Eugene, assuming I don't commit suicide by drowning myself in airplane dish soap."

Hinata patted her friend's shoulder sympathetically. "I'm sorry. Hey look, the Chicago plane got cancelled. I feel sorry for all the people who are stuck here instead of in Chicago."

"Yes!" Kankuro shrieked. "We're not the only ones!"

Hinata sighed. She only hoped that those red lights on the clock would click faster.

* * *

The dog sniffed. When Kankuro saw it, he knew it was trouble. '_The van,_' he thought. '_It was all the fucking 1972, hippie-fied, Volkswagen van's fault._' He _knew_ eating beef jerky for lunch had been a bad idea.

"Sir, do you have any explosives or narcotics on your person?"

"No," Kankuro replied.

"Sir--"

"Oh come on, you have a stick up there…ooh...get that checked out!" Kankuro spat back. Hinata, beside him, blushed and hid her face in her hands. She rocked back and forth, back and forth, eventually hiding her face in her knees and chest and covering her ears to block out the world.

"Sir, I will ask you once again if you have any explosives or narcotics on your person."

"I already told you! What do you want me to say? 'Yes, I have a bomb up my ass'?"

That, dear readers, was what earned Kankuro a cavity check. He was stripped, taken to a little tiny cement cell, and humiliated. Yes, a cavity check is officially the worst reason to be stripped. Money? Good reason. Sex? Better reason. Cavity check? Nasty-ass reason.

For Hinata, time ticked slowly. How could she, the quiet one, the calm, kind, quiet one, manage to get herself into a situation where her best friend and traveling companion was a considered terrorist, she was going to fly seven hundred miles out of her way to get somewhere just over half the distance away, and her father was going to flip out when he realized her gone. This, however, sort of made her happy. Her father was an asshole. Kankuro wasn't. Kiba wasn't. Naruto wasn't. Neji was occasionally, but mostly not. Shikamaru and Temari and Naruto and Sasuke and Gaara weren't. She was happy. '_Wonder why they never considered I was smuggling drugs._' Of course, she wasn't and twitched at such a thought.

When Kankuro emerged, still defending himself, he was deemed safe to continue on to Nevada. One wonders how he isn't just dragged down to the station and slapped in chains. The leniency of airport was sort of twisted, considering you can't even bring toothpaste on board. What if you eat garlic? What if your breath smells? WHERE DOES THE GOOD OF HUMANITY FIT IN ON SUCH A CORRUPT SCALE?!

"Are you okay?" Hinata asked. Kankuro's head swiveled slowly towards her.

"Cavity check. Do I _look_ okay?" he snapped back.

"Young man, please restrain yourself," the security officer, a tall man with dark skin and even darker eyes ordered, glaring at Kankuro. Beside him was his partner. In the whole, good cop bad cop routine (Kankuro wondered why they bothered), he had wanted to be the bad cop. He didn't get to be because, in all his essence, he couldn't even hold a candle to her bad-cop _blink_.

"Yes sir."

The security officer looked surprised. "Did you call me sir?"

"Yes sir."

The security officer turned to his partner. "You were in psychology, weren't you?"

"No, I'm a chemist, but I did take an AP class in high school."

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Yeah. See, we call it breaking their souls and _stomping it into the dirt as we relish their howls of pain and agony!_"

"Are you sure you're a chemist?"

"Cesium and water go boom bitches. Chemistry minor. Creative writing major. Always wanted to be in the FBI…this is temporary."

"Can we go now?" Kankuro paused. "Sir?"

"AP you said? Are you sure you passed?"

* * *

"You should really try a perm. It would like, make you so much better looking," a blond girl crowed, glancing over Hinata's body. "You need it."

"Yeah," said the girl's friend. "And like, maybe lost a little weight and tried some new like, clothes, you know what I mean?" She smiled cruelly. Hinata let out a little whimper and pressed against Kankuro. Kankuro wrapped one arm around the shaking girl's shoulders.

"Okay, and then like, I said, Oh My God, and then she was all, no way, and I was like, way, and then she like, flipped her hair and Tabby was all 'no you didn't', and she was all, 'yes I did', and then Tabby was all, like, making out with her and Jason was like, 'cool, girl-on-girl action' and then I was like 'no way!' and Tanya was all like 'yes way' and then I like said, 'hey new girl', and she goes, 'oh my god I'm a guy', so I guess 'she' was really like a 'he' only he was emo so he looked like--"

Kankuro suddenly realized how horrible he must sound to Temari. Turning to the girl next to him and leaning over Hinata, he felt anger well up in his being. The run on sentence made him sick. "Shut up will you! I don't care! Your sentence structure is horrible! It makes me want to throw up! Or eat your face, and then throw up, and not even bother making in look like an accident!"

"Like, excuse me?" the girl flipped her hair. "But do you like, know who I am?"

"I don't, like, care," Kankuro mocked her highly affected speech, "if you're like, Bloody Paris Fucking Hilton. You have thirty seconds to shut up before I make you shut up."

"With like, whaaaat?"

"With like, my fist in your ugly-ass face."

"No you didn't!"

"It appears, fat-ass, that I did."

"That's like--"

"You say that one more time and I'm going to become angry. I'm going seven hundred miles in the wrong direction, you've made my best friend _cry_, it's the middle of the fucking night, and they checked my ass for drugs and explosives! This day is sucking metaphorical toad balls! You, little girl, will not mess with me on this day!"

"And if I do?" she challenged. Kankuro leaned very close to her.

"Then I will cut your hair, dye the ends blue, and introduce you to the wonders of old school and post-hardcore punk music." Kankuro paused to rifle through his carry-on bag. "Escape the Fate, Sex Pistols, and the Ramones. Thank you, Temari. Not to mention rock: Nirvana and Marilyn Manson."

"No your wouldn't."

"Oh…oh…but I would…"

It was too late for her anyway.

An hour later, Kankuro was smirking triumphantly at the preppy girl. Slowly he removed the headphones from the shaken girl's head. She turned her head slowly to him, eyes flicking to his. Then her eyes turned down to her body. "What's this shit I'm wearing?" she demanded. "It's like ho clothes! I want my lip piercing! Where the fuck is my black dye?"

"Down with the toothpaste in the holding cell for hazardous materials," Kankuro replied.

"You mean where all the employees screw on their lunch break?"

The whole. Plane. Went. Silent.

"What was that?" Kankuro demanded. Hinata had made a joke. An off-color, inappropriate joke. A joke that he or Kiba would have made. Suddenly, Kanky-chan was proud.

"You really do have balls girl," the diva-turned-punk cried admiringly.

"Did I say that?" Hinata asked, bouncing her fingers together and blushing.

"Must be after affects of Sex Pistols. Here, listen to this." Kankuro rifled through his bag until he found his CD labeled 'The Best Punk/Rock Music Mix EVAH'. Putting it into his CD player and slapping the headphones onto Hinata's head, he turned up the volume as loud as it would go on an old Nirvana track and sat back to watch his friend's transformation.

Thirty minutes later, Hinata's eyes had actually narrowed, her hair had grown its own consciousness, and her fairly nondescript clothing had turned sort of glittery. Glittery and black. She took the headphones off and handed them back to Kankuro.

"Wow…that was…wow…"

"I guess that killed a couple IQ points. Oh well, you have some to spare," Kankuro said with a laugh. "So…you rocked out?"

"Heck yeah!" Hinata said, grinning. She paused. "Where did that come from?" she asked, glancing down. Kankuro sighed.

"More listeny. You turn awesome punk-rocker yet and then you can actually have some fun. Not a place on earth more fun than a concert, holed up in the bathroom with some random chick. Speaking of random chicks," Kankuro paused to shake the diva-turned-punk awake, "are you interested?"

"Hell yeah!" The two disappeared in the direction of the lavatory. Hinata sighed.

"Mile High Club anyone?" She slipped the headphones back over her ears and dove into the world that was electric guitars and rhythmic drum beats. '_Punks…easy as Sunday morning._' She paused. '_Does that mean…no way…_' Her eyes drifted to the guy sitting two rows over. '_Nope, not quite enough old school punk for that yet._'

She flicked past another Nirvana song, straight to the next Sex Pistols track.

Yet.

Mile High Club anyone?

* * *

**Punk music is my forte...smile!**

**And review. That's good too.**


	14. Day 14: Home Base

**Drug use. Due to drug use, purposeful OoC.**

**The day I own, the day this really happens. So far, Deidara hasn't quite gifted Temari with our favorite little girl, MJ.**

* * *

"Never in my life have I been so happy to see you!" Kankuro cried, throwing his arms around Temari's neck. "I missed you so much! SO MUCH! I never want to leave you again, greatest sister of mine. I love you!"

Temari blinked, awkwardly returning her brother's hug. "Are you okay?" she asked. Hinata giggled from behind him.

"He just had a little issue with the cavity check, didn't you Kinky-chan?" she asked, grinning maniacally. Now, before anyone could comment on the evolution of Kankuro's nicknames, Hinata had spotted Kiba. "Kiba!" she cried. She threw her arms around his neck affectionately. "I missed you." Hinata shoved Kiba against the nearest wall, grinding her hips against his and kissing him, forcing her tongue into his mouth. It took Kiba seconds to respond and Hinata had definitely used this opportunity to take control of the situation.

The remaining people blinked. Neji's head swiveled dangerously close to 180 degrees to face Kankuro.

"What the fuck did you do to my cousin?"

* * *

Hinata was so not at dinner. Neither, come to think of it, was Kiba. Oh, the walls be thin and everyone be in writhing agony. Even Temari…and she's like…wow. Not exactly a virgin herself and she _still_ thought that the noise was unbearable.

"So what did you do to her?" Temari asked finally.

Kankuro shrugged. "I gave her Marilyn Manson, among others."

"And she screwed a guy in an airplane lavatory with no instigation from anyone?" Naruto asked. "I mean, are you sure this is Hinata? You didn't happen to leave her unattended for a couple of seconds. With all the terrorists these days--"

"Meh, who would hide a bomb on her?"

"If they did, Kiba would have found it," Sasuke muttered. Temari covered her ears.

"Oh my god! This is so not okay! I mean, seriously, I could handle walking in on Neji and Gaara because I gave Gaara baths until he was seven and I've seen it all before! Even if it was really, really, really, really, really gross and all, I only needed to scrub my eyes out with two bars of soap. But this is so not okay! I mean, it's my best friend! My best friend! And I'm discussing his sex life with his girlfriend's cousin who is my brother's boyfriend, her best friend who is my brother, and my brother who is my _brother_! Not to mention my two legal charges! THIS IS NOT OKAY, EVER, NO MATTER WHAT!"

And then Temari fainted.

"Well this is awkward," Sasuke observed. "You know, we could leave her."

"You know," Kankuro said, "I like you when you're not an anti-social little bastard."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I like you when you're not a horny man-whore."

Kankuro nodded. "Well, have fun screwing my…wow…are we related somehow Naruto? I mean, everybody else is."

Temari opened one eye. "Uchihas and Hyuugas are fifth cousins," she said. Then she went back to being fainted.

"Ah," Kankuro muttered, turning back to Sasuke. "Have fun screwing my future brother-in-law's fifth cousin."

Sasuke blinked. "Okay," he said, turning on his heels and moving up the stairs. Not that he ever actually got that far with Naruto...

Kankuro raised an eyebrow. "Are Hyuugas and Uchihas really related?" He cast a glance at a still ecstatic Nara Shikamaru.

Shikamaru nodded. "Yeah. Uchiha-Hyuuga Ehren came from Japan five generations ago. Since then the family lines have grown apart, but--"

"It's still catchy to say," Kankuro said, sauntering off. "You know what you need? Beer. Come on Shika, we need to go get drunk."

"What?" Shikamaru demanded, chasing after his future brother-in-law (he noted how many times that came up). "Do what?"

"Get you drunk, you know? It'll be fun…lot's of fun…" Kankuro promised. "We'll pick up chicks! Or not chicks! Whatever floats your boat."

Shikamaru was unamused. "Your sister floats my boat," he replied. "You are troublesome." He didn't even comment on Kankuro's grossed out expression. Kankuro contemplated a moment.

"We could get drunk here! And smoke pot!"

"Did you bring any?"

"Nope, but I know Temari has a stash of it."

Shikamaru suddenly found himself intrigued. '_My fiancée smokes marijuana?_' he wondered. '_Wait, this is Temari we're talking, of course she smokes Marijuana…_' He raised an eyebrow. "Where is this stash of which you speak?"

Kankuro clapped his hands in what could almost be called glee. "I knew I had you hooked! Come on, I'll show you!" he danced in circles. Maybe it was converting Hinata to rocker-ism. That had to be it. Kankuro led the way to the room Temari was staying in. "She always, always hides it in the back of her--"

"OH MY GOD KIBA!"

Kankuro snickered. "I feel sorry for you guys. Anyway, she always hides it right…" he trailed off, sucking in his belly to reach into the back of Temari's closet. "Here. Tada." Indeed, a bong and enough Marijuana to get people very, very happy. "Shall we?"

"I don't know…"

"Trust me."

"Those words: every future brother-in-law's worst nightmare."

Kankuro smiled. He was starting to like Shikamaru. '_This,_' he thought gleefully, '_could be the start of a beautiful friendship. A beautiful friendship indeed._' "Come on," he said. "You can do more with this stuff than you can with all the school office files."

* * *

Sasuke and Naruto sat on Sasuke's bed. The walls were especially thin in their room and Sasuke really wished he had some other room. Or that he was in some other room. Like the basement. You know, way far away.

"Let's head downstairs," Naruto finally suggested. "I think I saw Shika and Kanky go down there a little bit ago."

"I'm with you," Sasuke muttered. The two boys rose and made their way swiftly down to the basement steps. Smoke furled from under the door. Naruto swiped his foot experimentally, felt the door, and proclaimed no fire hazard.

"Wonder what Shikamaru and Kankuro are doing," he muttered, half to Sasuke and half to himself. He cracked the door. "Hello?"

"Hello!" Kankuro cried from the basement. "Get down here!" The smoke fluttered up.

"Is Shikamaru down there with you?" Sasuke asked. '_If Shikamaru is down there,_' he reasoned, '_the chances of human sacrifice are fairly small._'

"Yup!" Shikamaru cried. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. '_Smoke, plus Shikamaru acting weird…equals…._'

"What are you doing down there?" he demanded.

"Smoking!"

"Smoking what?"

"Marijuana!" Shikamaru cried gleefully. By that time, Sasuke and Naruto were down in the basement, watching in minor horror.

"And that's it?" Sasuke demanded. There was way to much…stuff for just smoking. Plastic bottles, what looked like mild tea, Temari's grain alcohol (Sasuke noted this was probably bad), and butter.

"Well…we have beer and marijuana and we're smoking it and we made it into tea, and butter, and Green Dragon--"

"Okay," Sasuke snapped, "I get it. What you need to do is--"

"Give me!'

Poor naive Naruto. And poor influenced Sasuke. Oh yeah. He really resisted the offer of booze and friendship (and Marijuana probably, but he didn't really remember that). That resolve lasted long. Slamming the door, the road to happiness (oh sure, happiness…anyone read short term effects? ANYONE?!) began and soon the four boys were having very…interesting conversations.

"Your sister is wow…" Shikamaru muttered.

"Your cousin is wow. I mean, seriously, she could be totally wicked…" Kankuro muttered, taking a sip of tea. It was mild, considering the omni-present voice (who knew smoking MJ or drinking large amounts of alcohol would bring her back?) kept insisting Marijuana only had a 2.8 gram per liter water solubility ratio. Oh dear. Shoot her.

"Hey…you know what we haven't done in a long time?" Naruto said suddenly.

"Had wild group sex?"

"Well that…but we haven't sang to Barney song!"

Sasuke sighed. For some reason, he tended not to be as affected by drugs and as his friends. Alcohol was a different story, but he could still get up the stairs. Maybe it was related to how much marijuana Orochimaru smoked, and the number of aphrodisiacs shoved down his throat over the years, but he had a feeling Naruto had had enough.

"Come on, I'm taking you upstairs. You've had quite enough." Abandoning Shikamaru and Kankuro to their male bonding. At least, Sasuke noted, he hoped it was male bonding. Or else Temari was going to be really, really mad.

Sasuke may have had a high tolerance, he realized, but he had still consumed a lot of-- hey look! A parrot! Oh my god, it's speaking Cantonese! I want to learn Cantonese, stupid parrot…get the fuck back here…no! Now it's Mandarin! How do you think I feel, bloody macaw? Wait, it's a Macaw? I thought it was a bloody parrot. Oh fuck it.

"Sasu-chan…you know what I need?" Naruto asked, sprawling out beside Sasuke on his bed.

Sasuke couldn't tell if he liked where this was going or not.

"What?"

"I need you to fuck me…"

Still not sure.

"What?"

"You heard me…"

Oh dear, this could be an issue.

Note to self: large amounts of Marijuana and beer (blame the beer! Mostly the beer! Oh yes, beer beer beer beer beer! Meaningful beer. Capitalized. Meaningful Beer) were probably a bad idea.

Naruto leaned up, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's neck and dragging their bodies flush against each other. "Please Sasu-chan?"

Sasuke gulped. He thought this was a good idea. Or at the very least not too harmful. He rolled over, straddling Naruto's scrawny hips. "Hn."

"Hn? All I get is a hn?" Naruto pouted, grabbing Sasuke around the waist and pulling him close enough to captivate the older boy's lips, grinding upwards almost brutally. Sasuke groaned. Whispering against the raven's lip the blond boy hissed, "I want more than that." He slipped his tongue into his boyfriend's mouth, teasing the tongue there. Sasuke's mouth tasted like booze and pot, but then again, it could have been just him. The world was just a little bit fuzzy. All Naruto knew was that he wanted Sasuke and by what was pressed against his inner thigh, he was pretty sure Sasuke wanted him too.

"Fine," Sasuke murmured as best he could with an out-of-commission tongue, sliding his hands up Naruto's shirt and to the younger boy's nipples. "You get a hnph." He nibbled on Naruto's bottom lip and ground downwards. Naruto squirmed, tugging Sasuke's shirt off and discarding it on the floor.

"That's better," he groaned. Sasuke messed with the zipper on the younger boy's jeans, slipping his hand just below the waist band and moving downwards to what he could feel pressed against his leg--

Then the door swung open.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COST?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I PAID FOR THAT?! Deidara sold me that half price and that shit was still expensive! My brother and my boyfriend are passed out and all my pot is gone! And my beer too! I was saving that."

"Oops," Naruto giggled.

"No!" Temari shrieked. "You cannot fuck until I properly punish you by…not letting you fuck. So go clean the basement."

Of course, Sasuke and Naruto had already passed out.

Temari noted she should really hide beer and pot better. '_Damn you Kankuro. Damn y-- you know, I really want some cranberry lemonade._'

All was forgotten (well, for now anyway) as she bustled downstairs, leaving Sasuke and Naruto sprawled out on Sasuke's bed.

* * *

**o.O Oh my god, I had to interrogate this kid in my class about smoking pot and it was...weird...oh well. **

**Temari keeps interrupting t3h SasuNaru moments.**


	15. Day 15: Amazon Park

**I just realized Temari took over Gaara's job in Road Trip…official 'let's make sure it don't go to pieces' person. **

No own.

* * *

"Okay," Temari said shortly, "we are going to have a little chat." She had Shikamaru, Hinata, Kankuro, Kiba, Naruto, Gaara, Neji, and Sasuke lined up against the wall. "I'm sure you know what about." 

"This is bad…" Naruto muttered.

"Yes Naruto! Good job! This is very, very bad." She smiled darkly. "Do you know what is going to happen now? We're going to make a few changes to the road trip scripture. Do we need to go over what we already have?"

"No giving you coffee in the middle of the day, no giving you alcohol if you call us any name besides our own, never give Neji alcohol," Kiba paused, "That's all I got."

"Ask for directions when you are hopelessly lost, no backseat driving," Neji muttered.

"Never ask about Sasuke's past home life, never threaten to drive drunk, never mention Gaara and Temari's mother's death, hate Hyuuga Hiashi and throw darts at his picture daily."

"Always go in Murphy, never endanger Murphy."

"It doesn't matter who started it," Naruto murmured, "And love each other always."

Temari smiled humorlessly. "Good, good minions, I have trained thee well. Okay, there shall never be a peaceful car ride, that's fourteen. Anyone want to take a guess at fifteen?"

"Um…" Hinata hummed, swaying from side to side. "I don't know." She snapped her gum. Temari grimaced. She wanted to kill Kankuro for messing with Hinata. She liked Hinata just the way she had been. Of course, back in senior year, she had liked Hinata a slightly different, but hey, she had Shika now and Hinata had Kiba. Hinata still had to find her style balance.

"Okay, fifteen is 'stay the fuck out of Temari's closet'. Should 'never touch her fucking Marijuana' count as sixteen, or still fifteen?"

"Sixteen."

"Okay, fifteen is 'thou shalt stay the fucketh out of Temari's closet' and sixteen is 'thou shalt never touch Temari's Marijuana' Savvy?"

The eight teenagers in front of her nodded. "Is that it?" Neji asked. Oh great and organized Neji, keeping a running list of the new commandments.

"Yeah. Be quieter or sound proof your room or whatever, because seriously, Kiba, Hinata, nasty. Really nasty. Or dead bolting the door. That's nice too. Can we put that in nice words? Temari?" Naruto asked, turning his head to one side.

Temari considered. "Seventeen is 'Thou shalt be discreet in all sexual situations'."

"Smart," Kiba muttered. 'Alright, can we go back to--"

"No! What part of decree seventeen did you miss?"

"--to breakfast, because I am hungry."

"Sneaky Inuzuka…sneaky."

In the following few minutes, everyone else dispersed, deserting only Hinata and Kiba in the living room.

"So now what?" Kiba asked, sitting across from Hinata. She looked him over.

"Not sure what you mean."

"I mean there has to be some kind of conversation, right? It's mandatory. It's like…"

"You've been spending too much time with Naruto or Neji or Shikamaru…oh my gosh, they've turned you into an uke."

"Shikamaru isn't-- no wait, yeah…Shikamaru is…"

Hinata laughed nervously. "Who wouldn't be with Temari? I mean, it wasn't such a surprise with me, but--"

"You?" Kiba demanded. "What do you mean?"

"Sophomore year I lost my virginity to her."

Kiba gaped. "My girlfriend…slept with my best friend…who's boyfriend thinks she is sleeping with her best friend…who is me…"

Hinata rubbed her head. "We were bored, sexually frustrated, and I needed help learning how to make my boyfriend happy. He kept pressuring me and I was sort of nervous. Temari had alcohol, I needed help, and in the end, the only sex I ended up having was the lesson."

"You didn't let me watch? No, bad joke, bad joke, please don't hit me…" Kiba wailed, trailing off as Hinata assaulted him with a pillow. Actually, the idea of his best friend and his girlfriend doing that was probably somewhere between as appealing as the same situation was to Shikamaru and 'I would so pay $10.56 an hour to watch this'.

"Look, I shared a hugely private part of my life. Please don't write me off," Hinata said. She was back in 'cute little Hina-chan' mode. Kiba couldn't even think perverse thoughts with her looking like that.

"Okay," he muttered. Personally, the idea of Hinata losing her virginity to a random man on a plane was not okay. If she would lose it to anyone besides him, it would be Temari. Kiba thought that was weird (fricking weird!), but it was better than Random Man on Plane with Mullet.

"Can we go out today?" Hinata asked, rapidly changing subject. Temari poked her head in from the kitchen.

"Hey! I think Deidara's mooch wants Ringu and Three…Extremes. You going to be here or there. Wherever there happens to be."

Hinata and Kiba looked at each other, consulting.

"There!" they said in unison.

* * *

"Okay, we have a situation," Temari explained. The nine of them were sitting cross legged in Amazon Park, located by, you guessed it, Amazon Parkway. 

"Which is?"

"Well, see, California is not a happy place and I don't have a job, or any friends, and we're kind of all of our friends, and all of our families are either dead or disowned us, so I was just thinking we should move up here," Temari suggested, panting for breath. "I'll give you a couple of minutes." Then she collapsed against the tree, exhausted from…life.

Gaara and Neji leaned against a tree, deep in a discussion of sociopaths portrayed in the media. Naruto and Sasuke listened vaguely, but mostly just lay n the grass, staring up at the bright blue sky. Sasuke's head swiveled to stare at his boyfriend's.

"You think I'm fucked up?" he asked. Naruto sighed, shutting his eyes.

"No," he murmured. "Where did you get that?"

"The world."

"World can fuck itself," Naruto sighed. "With a steel dildo."

"What's this about steel dildos?" Temari and Kiba asked in unison. Neji raised one eyebrow before returning to his conversation with his boyfriend. Sasuke sighed and shut his eyes again, rolling next to the blond boy. They lay against each other, breathing in rhythm and the seven obnoxious teenagers around them seemed to disappear.

"Anyone want to move up here?" Temari asked, stretching out her long legs. "It'll be fun! Our current house is the same size as Deidara's and about three times the price. We could get a massive place to live up here for not all that much."

"You have the money," Kiba said with a shrug.

"Excuse me!" cried an indignant Kankuro. "I'm the one who makes all the money."

"By the way," Neji asked, "what is your job? I mean, I really don't know."

Kankuro shrugged. "I never told you? I--"

He was cut off when Temari ran suddenly towards the Dairy Mart. The Dairy Mart a half mile away. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"Should we go after her?" Kiba asked.

"Sure," Shikamaru muttered. "Troublesome girl." And with that, Kiba, Shikamaru and Hinata chased after their friend who was screaming, ala Lord of the Flies, 'Chocolatechocolatechocolate!' Only, you don't scare away a Snickers and wild boars don't come with their own cellophane. Kankuro sighed, deciding to follow, just in case. Shikamaru was Temari's bitch, Hinata was too small (also Temari's bitch) and Kiba couldn't drag her out alone (also her bitch). Kankuro could not only help, he was so, totally not her bitch.

Sasuke pivoted his body to rest his cheek on Naruto's chest. There had been a point when he wanted no contact…now he couldn't be without it. "You think we should move up here?" he asked.

Naruto shrugged. He opened one eye lazily and traced a circle on Sasuke's pale cheek, running blunt finger through dark hair. "Temari would be happy. I don't really care." Tanned fingers dipped to the nape of Sasuke's neck and again below the collar of his black shirt. "You?"

"It's nice here."

"It is."

"I'm in. When Temari gets back from her literature rampage, I'll tell her I'm in."

"I don't really think she cares," Naruto laughed.

The blond boy rolled over, trying most discreetly to come into as much contact with Sasuke as humanly possible. When he pressed his lips gently to the dark-haired boy's, he was rewarded with a gentle nibble on his bottom lip and a tongue begging for entrance. Naruto teased Sasuke's lip a couple of times before conceding, which included an absolutely fantastic display of tongue-meeting-tongue. Sasuke groaned.

Sasuke ended up breaking their lip lock to fixate his mouth on Naruto's neck. He traced a trail of spit slowly down to the blond boy's collar. He nuzzled gently against the taut skin of his boyfriend's neck, licking down and biting the junction where collarbone met neck.

Naruto squealed and moaned in pain, grabbing at Sasuke's belt loop. Grass ticked his exposed cheek and the dirt seemed to be incredibely comfortable all of a sudden. Through his haze, the blond boy managed to slip his hand to Sasuke's thigh, pausing briefly before moving upwards to find a rapidly hardening--

"What part of Decree Seventeen did you miss?! THIS IS SO INDISCREET!" Temari shrieked. Sasuke and Naruto split apart enough to see her. Naruto noted that Sasuke's mouth didn't move. In response, his own hand remained right where it was before Temari so rudely interrupted. The woman crammed chocolate into her mouth menacingly.

"Fuck you," Sasuke muttered, grinding disobediently against his boyfriend and slipping his lips back up to Naruto's mother. Temari glowered.

"Fine. Whatever. No fucking though. This is a public park and there are kids around." Her hand flew automatically to her stomach and she drifted off to a park bench.

Temari sat on the park bench, looking miserably at all the children around. Happy children with middle aged soccer moms who drove Hondas and made cookies for the bake sale. None of them were pierced any where besides their ears or drove a van from the seventies, especially not one with a name.

"What's up?" Kiba asked, sitting beside his best friend. She sighed, tears forming at the edges of her eyes.

"I don't want to be a soccer mom!" she wailed piteously. "I want to be one of those really cool parents who doesn't have to treat their kid like a drug addict and has some sort of trusting relationship and doesn't make BROWNIES! I can't cook brownies! I'm a failure…"

"You're not a failure," Kiba assured her, patting her back awkwardly. "You'll make a great mom. See, you're worried about being a failure to your kids. It means you care. Has to count a few points, right?"

"Right…" Temari muttered, not really seeing where this was going.

Kiba smiled, patting the spot on her head between her two upper pigtails. "You'll do fine. Nice day today, huh?"

"Yeah," Temari sniffled. "It's really nice. One of the reasons I want to move here. The weather is so nice: warm days, cool days, even the rainy days are beautiful." She smiled. "You should move here too. Of course, if you wanted to stay in California…"

"And leave you? Yeah right."

"You know," Temari muttered. "Shikamaru was so happy Hinata was showing up because he's jealous of you…" she trailed off, her tear stained face breaking into a grin. "Of course, I love the attention." She rested her cheek against Kiba's chest and he pulled her into a hug, rubbing her upper arm in one of those comforting manners.

"You want to get going? Decree Seventeen is under fire in two different locations," Kiba noted. Temari perked up, glancing around. Kiba kissed her forehead and wiped away the remaining tears on her cheeks with the back of his sleeves. Then he pulled Temari to her feet and left her to go pry people apart.

'_The girl who deflowered my girlfriend…I'm going to have to thank her one day…_'

* * *

**Two comments: One, TemaHina is my Yuri-alt-pairing. Oh well. I felt like adding it because I can. And I'm high off groping one of my best friends (straight and female and she puts up with it) so Yuri is sort of on my mind, you know? Not to mention my other friend who just sort of...gropes me back. So yeah. Yuri.**

**Two, I will one day write a lemon. Srsly, someone slap me for edging this close. Kill it dead. No more. **

**Three (ha! I SAID TWO AND I'M GOING THREE!) No forget to review. Suddenly, people are not reviewing as much...do you not love me anymore:sobs: Oh well. I survive.**


	16. Day 16: Sasuke's Room

**Yesterday (4/18) was the Day of Silence (yearly silent protest for Lesgaybitrans rights, maybe only in the US...?). Also, today, I leapt out the window of my House (house being the short period tacked onto the end of Tuesday/Thursdays at school) with an incredibely cute sixth grader who is, surprisingly, a guy. Hn…you look up 'uke' and you get his picture.**

**I own it! ALL OF IT! We all know what happens to pansexual baton twirling Anarchists (who believe Socialism is a good plan B) when they obsess over pretty girls and guys who are smaller than they. They suddenly 'own' mangas…**

**

* * *

**"And now we present, DUMPLINGS!" 

Temari blinked. "You seriously expect me to watch this? It's Korean--"

"You're right," the mooch muttered, blue eyes flashing with glee as she picked up a movie labeled 'Japanese Horror'. "And now we present, Dark Water!" The girl flicked on the television and leapt out the window. "Have fun bitches!"

"But…" Neji muttered. "Why do we keep letting her in?"

"I really don't know," the blonde girl muttered. "She kind of acts like she strayed from 'attack of the semes'."

"She does own most of the movies," Gaara observed.

"Then why does she keep coming back? Take them and leave."

"Creature of habit?"

Sudden screaming erupted from outside.

"If you call wandering hands a habit, she's the poster child for redundancy."

* * *

Sasuke curled up under the covers. He absolutely hated being sick, but there wasn't much to be done. It was the ever obnoxious 24 hour flu and he just _knew_ he had caught it from one of those stupid little children in the park. He knew it. It _had_ to be them. 

"How are you feeling?" Hinata asked sweetly from the doorway.

Sasuke glared. "What do you think?"

"Wondering if I should go bug Naruto into bringing you ramen," she muttered, chewing on the end of her lollipop. "So did you want me to or should I leave him to the Japanese Culture Club down there?"

"Whatever."

"Okay!" Hinata bubbled, bouncing off down the stairs.

A few minutes later, Naruto had drifted upstairs. He pushed Sasuke's door open with one dainty toe and flopped onto the dark-haired boy's bed. "Sick?"

"You think?" Sasuke muttered. "It's that stupid idiotic flu. Damn park." He muttered curses as he burrowed deeper under the covers.

"Temari told me to tell you she wants to put eggs on your feet."

"Eggs?"

"Yeah…the Al Bumen?"

"Albumin?"

"Yeah!"

"That's the white of the egg you moron."

"Oh," Naruto muttered. "Okay. She said it would bring down your fever." Naruto wrinkled his nose. "She said she'd bring up washcloths with egg on it once there's a break in Dark Water."

"With Temari," Sasuke muttered from under his cave of blankets, "there is never a break. Wait with me?"

"Sure," Naruto agreed, stretching out crosswise on Sasuke's bed. His head rested on the floor, staring upside down at the ceiling. "You feeling okay? I mean, mentally. Temari said…"

"I'm sure she and Neji have had long in-depth conversations about my mental health. No, being sick isn't going to make me spiral into a bunch of repressed memories. I remember every minute of it and if it hasn't already driven me over the edge, it won't because I got the twenty-four hour flu." Sasuke rolled his eyes and shivered.

The door opened. Rather, it was kicked open. "Sorry, hands full," Temari muttered. Naruto sat up and took the tray the blonde girl was holding. There were washcloths on it, dipped in what one could assume to be egg white. "I'll be getting back to vengeance now," she said, waving goodbye with her left hand and shutting the door behind her.

"Ew," Sasuke muttered. Naruto sighed.

"Temari said--"

"Temari says a lot of stuff."

"Yes," Naruto agreed. "But what can it hurt. Give me your foot." The blond boy grinned and lifted up the bottom of Sasuke's blanket. Armed with one of the egg-white cloths and a sock, he proceeded to wrap Sasuke's foot.

"Ew," Sasuke repeated.

"Yeah, sickish," Naruto agreed. "Other foot?" He repeated the process. Sasuke squirmed under the sticky touch of his boyfriend. "There, all better. Did you want something?"

Sasuke considered. "Water?"

"Sure." Naruto nodded and scampered off, leaving Sasuke alone. He snuggled deeper under the covers, tugging the sheets over his ears and curling up. A few minutes passed and he heard Naruto open the door.

"Sleeping?" the blond boy asked almost inaudibly.

"No," Sasuke replied, his reply slightly muffled. Given the question, however, it didn't really matter the response.

"Water?" Naruto offered, passing his glass to Sasuke. Sasuke sat up and took it, sipping at the water slowly. "Are you tired?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke shrugged his frail shoulders and set the glass on the mahogany night table. "Not really," he replied. "I just have a head ache and a fever. I'm not going to die. You don't need to hover." Naruto looked mildly hurt. "Unless you want to hover. Still freaked out Temari is right?"

"Always. Every second of every day I'm worried…"

"Don't be," Sasuke sighed. "I have the flu. I'm not going to kill myself, I'm not going to suddenly remember some repressed torture." He paused a moment, looking up at the blond perched beside his bed. "It matters to me that you care."

Naruto nodded. "Okay. I believe you."

"You don't need to stay," Sasuke assured him. "I'll sleep."

Naruto nodded and placed a kiss on Sasuke's cheek. "Too bad you're sick," he laughed before exiting the room. Sasuke watched the blue door shut with a slight click and he shut his eyes, burrowing under the covers.

He brooded. He brooded because he was worried that Naruto was worried. More importantly, he was afraid that Naruto had some reason to be worried. '_Am I really suicidal and just don't realize it? Do I give off an aura of self-hatred? I do, don't I?_' He laughed bitterly, biting down on his bottom lip so hard it drew blood. Visions of death seemed to cloud his mind.

It was like it was playing in slow motion. He could almost see himself waking towards the window and sliding it open, stepping onto the balcony and dangling his feet over the edge. Wind fluttered over his face and the scent of dull smog rolling off the freeway assaulted his nose. Slowly he eased to the roof and took a deep breath and then he leapt. His descent was met with a sickening crunch.

Sasuke shut his eyes, trying to drive out the images, only for them to spring open again. He bit his tongue in terror. It scared him…it scared him on some strange level to think that his mind conjured up images like this. There were other images that assaulted his brain. They were worse.

"Come here little brother…" Itachi crooned, grabbing Sasuke by the shirt and pressing him against the wall. A younger Sasuke squirmed under his brother's grasp. He had been hit before, but this was new. New, Sasuke had discovered, was usually bad.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked, bottom lip quivering.

"You," Itachi replied simply. "You, the poor little brother who lives in my shadow…do you not know that you are weak and I am strong? You are small and I am big. Foolish little boy, you are so stupid_. A stupid, weak little boy." Itachi pressed his body menacingly against Sasuke's. "Understand me little brother? You are weak." _

It would end, Sasuke realized, but not until the memory had played itself out.

Sasuke screamed. His eyes opened. '_Dreaming?_' he thought. '_Was I dreaming?_' It was dark outside. The door opened and the light flicked on to reveal Temari. She moved slowly to sit on his bed beside him.

"You okay?" she asked quietly. Sasuke shook his head. "I'm sorry baby," she breathed. "You want to tell me about it?"

"Itachi…" Sasuke croaked. Temari nodded, wrapping her arms gently around the frail boy's waist. He leaned against her chest. '_Weak…weak…weak…_'

"I'm sorry baby. You don't have to tell me." She rested her chin on his head and rocked his body back and forth gently, hugging him comfortingly. "You still tired?" She felt his forehead. "I guess the egg whites did their job." Temari wiped Sasuke's face on the back of her sleeve. "You want me to go get--"

"Don't leave," Sasuke muttered. Temari automatically tightened her grip.

"Okay baby," she said, not stopping the rhythmic motion she had begun. "You going to go back to sleep?"

"Yeah," Sasuke said. "You won't leave, will you?"

"Of course not," Temari assured him, letting her grip loosen. "Scoot over." She grinned. Sasuke inched over and pressed his body against the wall. Temari tucked what hair had fallen from the gel behind his ear and rested a hand on his flushed, feverish cheek. "Go to sleep baby." She lay beside him, staring at the ceiling and when his breathing became even she got up to turn off the light before returning to her vigil.

"You going to stay here?" Sasuke muttered.

Temari smiled. Even if he was asleep, she would still answer him. "Of course baby. Of course." She stretched out and clutched her pillow, her eyes growing heavy and her mind drifting quickly to oblivion.

**

* * *

**

**Uchihacest? Take it how you want.****My morale is in le shitter due to lack of reviews :hint: No pressure... (;**


	17. Day 17: Home Base

**Anyways, we giveth thee chapter 17.**

**Me? Own? Ha! What are you _on?_ I mean, seriously...**

* * *

Temari decided to sell the house in Ventura. Of course, when she called Deidara, he wasn't all that thrilled about the idea. Okay, not thrilled was the understatement of the year.

"Hey, Deidara, this is Temari…"

**"Hey…how's it going un?"** Deidara asked from the other end of the line.

"I was just wondering if you could find another place to stay because I'm going to sell the house. I mean, you have time, just warning--"

**"You want to sell it un?"** Deidara demanded. **"Why would you want that?"**

Temari sighed. Deidara could be so dense, even if he was pretty. "Because," she said as if speaking to a child, "I want to move. We're moving to Eugene because we like it. It's _nice_. Now, we lack this substance called 'money'. In order to acquire this 'money', we must sell our house…"

**"But we like you house un…we'll trade with you."**

Of course, even though it broke at least half a dozen federal laws, Temari and Deidara decided that they would sign a contract and privately trade houses. It wasn't as if it was really important the value of the house, even though Deidara did offer some extra cash, mostly because he was Deidara and his wife was Remika and they were, to put it simply, loaded.

"Okay, contract?" Temari asked.

She swore she could hear the blond man shrug. **"Just come down and sign it and the world will be good un,"** he explained. Temari nodded.

"Okay. So…"

**"If you could be down here by tomorrow, that would be great un."**

"Well that gives me a lot of warning…" Temari muttered.

**"That, and Hyuuga Someone keeps calling and demanding their daughter back un."**

"Next time they call, tell them they can--"

**"Meet you at the airport tomorrow, un,"** Deidara said, hanging up and cutting off Temari's rant. Temari stared at the phone, paused briefly, and then did the victory dance.

So shall you wax Murphy, so shall Murphy reverse this curse.

* * *

Gaara and Neji listened to music. How normal, one would think, listening to music. Of course, Gaara was way more interested in Neji's neck and poor Neji was sort of relegated to being molested by a certain redhead who was very _comfortable_ with his sexual orientation. Neji didn't even want to be awake.

"Gaara, I am trying to listen this," Neji said, eyes narrowed in annoyance. "And it is very difficult to do while you are _biting my neck_."

Gaara muttered some obscenity and drew back. "But I like you…"

"But I like Bach!"

"You know what Bach needs? Bach needs to be shoved--"

"Hey!"

"--through Kankuro's music editing program and remixed. Hand me your CD." Gaara stretched out a hand and Neji leaned over, popping the disc out of the player and handing it to Gaara. "Okay, now we're going to go hijack my brother's laptop and run it through."

Gaara got up and started for the room Kankuro was currently staying in.

"What you want? Too early morning!" Kankuro barked groggily.

"It's almost four you lazy ass," Gaara snapped back. "You're worse than Shikamaru." He paused, picking up Kankuro's laptop off the desk. "We'll be taking your laptop now. Bach needs a makeover." The redhead stormed out, slamming the door shut behind Neji and himself.

"What are you going to do?" Neji asked as Gaara scanned Bach into the computer. Gaara looked up briefly before finding Kankuro's System of a Down music files and putting them into the system.

"Taking Bach to a whole new level," he responded gleefully. "Okay, we're taking the tempo of Hypnotize and putting it to the music of Track 4..." Gaara trailed off, clicking on a couple of buttons and dragging audio files onto the timeline.

"Why?" Neji demanded, somewhat hurt that anyone would tamper with his strangely loved classical music. Gaara shrugged.

"I can. Just like I can molest you while we watch those weird horror movies. Hold on, hold on, it's rendering…" Gaara hit a couple of buttons on Kankuro's surprisingly easy to use program. "All right!"

He hit play. The music that poured out of the speakers was still classical but it had a beat that was definitely rock. Kankuro's rock, by the sound of it. Maybe it was because it was the easiest song on the list to use.

"Cool huh?" Gaara asked with a grin. "Personally, I could use this as the soundtrack for the documentary of my life," he said, pausing, "at least, the X rated parts."

Neji sighed. Despite his sometime-stoic attitude and occasionally sociopath tendencies, Gaara could be sort of perverted at times and frankly, it was kind of creepy…

"Turn that down!" Sasuke demanded, throwing open the door to Gaara and Neji's room. Gaara looked up from his music editing.

"Why should we?" Gaara demanded. Neji backed away.

"I was trying to sleep!" Sasuke replied hotly. It wasn't as if he could sleep, but he knew Naruto was trying to and had woken up at least twice.

"You're worse than Kankuro _and_ Shikamaru! Is this a fucking epidemic?" Gaara shooed Sasuke away, turning down the music slightly. Sasuke sulked, stomping back upstairs childishly. He was still feeling sick, and when he was feeling sick it was just _not okay_. He slammed the door to his room and turned a stony gaze on Naruto, who sat on his bed.

"Why now? Why not later?" Sasuke steamed.

"Beethoven is icky," Naruto observed dryly, climbing back under the covers and pulling the sheets all the way up to his head. Sasuke sighed, leaning against the wall. It was so annoying and inconvenient. Troublesome, he decided. Then, he realized with sudden shock, that he was turning into Shikamaru and that _was not allowed to happen._ Shikamaru, come to think of it, didn't suffer from post-traumatic stress syndrome, at least at last check. Shikamaru didn't have any problems being grabbed from behind or sleeping.

"You going to leave me here all alone?" Naruto demanded. "It's cold."

Sasuke sighed. You can't argue with someone as bouncy as Naruto, he had realized this early on. "Whatever."

"This means I win, right?"

"Whatever you say," Sasuke muttered, sprawling out beside Naruto and tucking a strand of bright hair behind the younger boy's ear. Calmer, he reasoned. He always felt calmer around Naruto. Not that someone rapidly opening a door wouldn't care the shit out of him, even if he was expecting it and knew they were coming.

Gaara and Neji's music played louder, seeping through the thin walls. It was probably just Gaara's music now, Neji most likely having fallen asleep. Sasuke eyed the wall and debated throwing an object. He settled on a shoe. Chucking it at the wall, this only earned an annoyed groan from Kiba and Hinata's room down the hall that sounded mildly like 'stop that damn it'.

The music merely turned up.

Furious, Sasuke stalked out of the room and banged rudely on Gaara's door. When no response came, Sasuke pushed into the room. Neji and Gaara were _preoccupied_ to say the least, and, judging by the activity, there was reason the music was on so loud. Due to _other noise competition_, Sasuke could barely hear it anyway. No wonder it sounded like the shoe had bounced. Seven times.

"Turn that off and be quiet!" Sasuke growled. "We're trying to sleep around here! Maybe you don't have to, but we do."

Gaara and Neji broke apart, Gaara getting to his feet. "Oh, but Sasuke," he said, gliding forward. "We know you don't sleep. You never sleep anymore. Up all night worrying, brooding, staring out your window. You're so exhausted Sasuke…we know…"

"Turn down the music."

"We know that when you wake up, you've learned not to scream in terror…but I hear anyway Sasuke, when I'm up too…"

"Turn down the music."

"You can't sleep anyway, you can barely think. Always brooding Sasuke…always brooding…" Gaara smirked and stretched. "You know it's true. Don't try to hide it. You still have nightmares and you still can't sleep. You're still afraid and you know it."

"Turn down the goddamned music!" Sasuke shrieked., picking up a nearby pillow and throwing it at the laptop, effectively knocking it over and smothering the sound with discarded blankets. Sasuke panted in anger. "Turn down the music." He spun on his heel.

"Why?" Gaara asked. "You don't sleep--"

"Other people do." Sasuke's tone was so harsh it sliced glass. "Like my _boyfriend_." How long had it been since he had said that? Had he ever? Too long either way. Gaara looked unimpressed and decidedly unamused at his friend's display of indignant annoyance.

"It's four o'clock."

Sasuke turned to go. Leaning over his shoulder, eyes ablaze, he growled. "Yeah…four in the morning."

And with that, he slammed the door shut.

* * *

**Gaara, thee hath a cruel tendancy to mock. And insomnia that is a pain in the donkey.**

**That, and think happy thoughts. All the negativity in the world is infecting my dreams. And my mother's. Come on, do it for my mother. (And anyone else with semi-psychic abilities).**


	18. Day 18: Airport

**Me? Own? Have you seen some random bitch get pwned by the ticket machine in the airport? I think not! What does that say about ownership?**

* * *

One might feel sorry for Gaara. The vibes shot at him were so horrible, so scathing, that his skin threatened to peel off his face and fall in a heap on the floor. Poor Gaara, it wasn't his fault he was a bored, sometimes horny antisocial insomniac. Gaara took it all in stride. That is, until Temari popped the question.

Ew, not that question.

No, the question of 'hey, I'm going to California to sign an illegal contract, who is coming with me?'

"Not me!" Kankuro shouted. "NOT ME! NEVER ME!"

"I have three tickets and I am not wasting them," Temari said, ignoring her brother's outburst. Kiba raised an eyebrow.

"Why three?"

"Three because that way there can be a sort of buddy system. You know, one of us can stay in the terminal so we can find our way back and two can go out looking for food or whatever." She nodded sagely. "So who's up?"

"Not me!" Kankuro shouted.

Temari sighed. "Yes Kankuro, not you."

"Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered.

"I'm out," Kiba said. "Deidara left us tickets to a rock concert."

"Staying with Kiba," Hinata muttered under her breath.

"Sleep…"

"Staying with Neji." Gaara was met with _looks_. "Not like that," he defended. "I'm not always like that. Besides, I don't trust all of you with Murphy." He cast a skeptical glance out the window to where the van was parked.

"I want to go!"

"Hn."

Temari considered. "I hereby draft Naruto and Sasuke."

Sasuke looked indignant. "Why me?"

Temari smiled, tossing her spiky-ish hair. "Because, darling little boy," she shrugged her shoulders affectedly for emphasis, "you didn't protest. 'Hn' doesn't could." She reached out and in a flash pinched Sasuke's cheek. "You lose." Sasuke looked mortified. Temari ignored him and sauntered away.

"Somehow," Kiba noted, "I think that woman will either make a great mother or a very, very scary one." He watched Temari waddle off. "Yeah…grey is not in the spectrum here."

* * *

"Okay, come on, here we are." Temari ushered Sasuke and Naruto to the luggage check in line. "It's not so difficult darling, come on." She smiled at Sasuke and Naruto, grey eyes glittering as she repressed a grin. The woman in front of them looked disapprovingly at Temari and, mostly likely, Temari's stomach. Indeed, Temari was growing ever so slightly rounder by the day.

The woman arched on eyebrow and pulled her daughter, who appeared about three, closer. Temari bared her teeth in a pseudo-smile, crossing one arm over her stomach.

"How's it going?" the blonde girl asked.

The woman looked skeptical. Temari could feel green eyes fixated on her engagement ring. Disapproving green eyes that glared from the head of a pale, dark-haired woman in a line with her three-year-old daughter.

"Good!" the daughter shrieked happily. Naruto grinned.

"Where are you headed?" he asked. The daughter bit her lip.

"Home!"

"Where's that?" Naruto inquired. Sasuke snickered at how easily the blond boy could strike up a conversation with a child. The girl considered.

"Alaska!" she replied proudly.

Naruto stood up, ruffling the girl's brown hair. Temari smiled, looking somewhat wistful. The woman stared stonily back. Temari caught her eyes and then cringed, looking a little shaken at the woman's apparent bitterness.

It was at this point that Sasuke felt mildly bad for Temari. Maybe it was, that despite there being only four years age difference, he saw her as the mother he never had. It was always like that: Temari was the loving responsible one who always took care of everyone around her, and be damned if _some bitch in a check in line_ was going to make her feel bad.

So Sasuke kissed Naruto.

Now the woman's glare was on them. At least that knocked her thoughts off Temari and Temari's future-child and how-were-Sasuke-and-Naruto-related-to-Temari. The woman dragged her child closer and looked disapprovingly at Sasuke and Naruto. She was obviously not from Eugene. People in Eugene don't look as _shocked, appalled, and confused_ as this woman did at two boys making out. Maybe one or two of those qualities, but hardly ever all three.

Temari stomped on the woman's toe heartily. She was getting fed up and be damned if _some bitch in a check in line_ was going to make _anyone_ feel bad.

From behind them, there was a small cheer.

The woman shrieked in pain.

"I'm sorry," Temari said. "Was that your foot? I was under the impression that it was a large, ugly, rabies infested alligator and I was doing the community a favor by crushing it."

The woman glared.

Temari beamed wickedly.

Sasuke and Naruto, who had long since pulled apart, giggled. Actually, Naruto giggled and Sasuke giggled on the inside. On the outside, it was a noncommittal 'hn' and a rolling of a pair of black eyes in the face of bigoted stupidity.

The woman stepped up as the person in front of her moved away and slid her card in the ticket machine. It beeped, but didn't react any further. The woman tried again. Beep. Same. Beep. Stoic. Beep. The woman began to curse. Naruto grinned.

"It's true," he whispered to Sasuke. "Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Maybe you should try customer service," the woman behind the counter suggested in a accent clearly from somewhere probably south of Panama, pointing a manicured hand at the desk way on the other side of the airport, practically an off-white speck in a sea of all-that-is-not-off-white.

"That's right," Temari chirped. "Move along bitch."

Back in Eugene, Gaara waxed Murphy.

* * *

They decided it would be safest to get pizza. Sasuke liked pizza. Naruto liked pizza. Hell, Temari even liked pizza. The two boys moved slowly towards the pizza stand, which was about three terminals down. About halfway there, of course, they ran into trouble. Trouble's name is Roger.

"Hello my pretty," Roger hissed. He had a nametag sewn onto his auto-mechanic's uniform.

Naruto wrinkled an eyebrow. "Excuse me?" Sasuke unconsciously moved behind his blond friend. Roger was scary looking.

"How are you and your little friend doing today?" Roger asked, trying to look as pleasant as possible. Sasuke clutched at the back of Naruto's shirt. His black eyes were wide, terrifyingly wide. It had to be PTS Syndrome. It had to be. It was.

"Fine. We're going to get pizza," Naruto replied. Sasuke nearly slapped his forehead at how naive Naruto was.

"Yes, we are, and we'll be going now," Sasuke hissed. Away…he wanted to get away…Roger (if that was really his name!) was scary shit. Probably some escaped convict who raped and murdered a mechanic named Roger for his uniform.

"But we were having such a nice conversation."

Now, it was all okay until Roger touched Naruto's arm (you never know, could have been an accident) and Sasuke decked him despite being petrified with _terror_ (oh yeah, the Uchiha brat will admit he was scared) and then the two boys started running and security interrogated them and then they were let go and Roger got _pwned_.

Eventually, they got their pizza and returned to the terminal. No more creepy old men. Only black plastic plates that were rotten for the environment and screaming little children who wanted their _goddamned lollipop right now._

"What took you?" Temari demanded of Sasuke as he and Naruto approached where she sat. "I wanted my damn pizza!" She looked back down at her notebook. Sasuke ignored the question.

"What are you doing?" Naruto asked. Temari looked up from her notebook.

"Physics and Management for a story I'm working on."

"Why?"

"Because," Temari replied. "Want to hear?"

Naruto shrugged. "Sure."

"The the high levels of performance of its speed at time, cost effective leadership and the x-axis to be in causing at world-class company have change in this way: The work done is W F x m ( ( V - v ) / t and practices. The square of mass m will meet the demands of the marked. We may divide the kinetic energy by the symbol K, the body, but it won't be possible without the high levels of a body and practices. The particle will therefore cause world-class levels of performance of its speed in relation to the company."

"Was I supposed to understand any of that?" Naruto asked, passing Temari her pesto pizza. She took a bite and grinned green. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Nope," she replied smugly. "If I had wanted you to understand, I wouldn't have used more than four letters in a row."

* * *

Three minutes later:

"Hey!"

* * *

**I love you all! Happy-happy!**

**Have a spectacular day and may your nights be filled with great dreams.**


	19. Day 19: Airport

**Oh trust me...you'll know when I own it...see, if I owned it, sentences like the following would exist.**

* * *

"OH MY GOD! My nuts are gone!" 

"Dude, you never had any…

"They were right there!" Naruto screamed, pointing down. The blond boy had managed to attract the attention of at least half the plane by that time. "They're gone! SWEET GOD THEY ARE MISSING! No…" Naruto cried into his hands. Temari sighed, shaking her head. She wondered if someone forgot to wax Murphy. Or if someone had _driven the car over Naruto's head in a fit of rage._

"You can have mine," Sasuke offered, opening one eye, roused from his sleep even through the blaring elevator music on channel 6 of the airplane radio.

"It's just not the same!" Naruto wailed.

Temari swore and pushed the button above her head. An apprehensive looking stewardess approached, glancing at the blond boy cautiously. "Excuse me," Temari greeted her, "do you think we could have another package of peanuts? My friend appears to have lost his under the seat of the person in front of him."

* * *

"Where the hell is our baggage?" Temari demanded, slamming a fist down on the customer service desk. "Because it is not on the fucking circle-doohickey, and that means you lost it!" 

"Please wait a bit longer ma'am," the woman behind the desk crowed. "I can't prove it is missing until the baggage claim has ceased to spin and all luggage has been removed from the baggage claim."

"The whirly-whatever stopped spinning! Our luggage is not on it!"

"Ma'am, we're going to get you your luggage, I'm going to give you this form--"

"No! I want my luggage!" Temari demanded.

The woman looked exasperated. "If you give me a moment to consult with my associate," she said before pausing. Temari noted this 'associate' had a very nice ass and _exceedingly_ tight pants. Ass-man and the lady conversed. He touched her earring. Then he went away and the lady behind the counter returned. "Ma'am, I will personally find your luggage."

"Oh really? You are going to go out there with the guys with the little orange ear muffs and help them look the cargo hold until they find my baggage?" Temari cried. "Or I have a better idea! You can take those earmuffs and those guys and those _nasty ass perfume_ and shove them--"

"Temari, leave the nice lady alone," Sasuke interrupted. He gave Temari a harsh look. "Someone will realize they have the wrong baggage and return it. Isn't that right?" He turned his gaze, still stony, on the woman behind the counter.

"Of course," she whimpered. God, woman behind the counter at airports are so weak. Not all, of course. Just the ones with tacky nail jobs and _no ability to deal with customers._ Temari stalked off. Naruto was waiting by the baggage claim, staring sort of up at the shoot. Sasuke drifted to stand beside him, even though there was almost no chance there was luggage stuck up there.

Then, as if by a stroke of luck, Murphy was merciful and Temari's luggage came bouncing down. Then, Murphy took it back and it nailed Sasuke in the face, wheels up, spiky shit Temari used to 'keep those little fuckers in the airport away' getting him right in the cheek.

Blood. There was so much blood. Sasuke fainted from pain/blood/shock/chicken-ass and Temari was back on rampage. There was 'fuck' in that sentence. 'Fuck' was a very commonly used word. Poor, weak-minded lady behind the counter.

"Bloody-Fucking-Amateur! IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO, OH GREAT ONE?!" Temari shook her fist at the sky. "You think a little blood will scare me! NO! NEVER! You can do better asshole, I know it! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! No!" She paused for emphasis, the entire terminal quiet, "You are a failure at Karma! THAT'S RIGHT! SMITE ME OH GREAT SMITER! _LET ME BE YOUR SMITEE!_"

Quiet.

Bloody.

Quiet.

"Can we offer you a complimentary first class ticket?" The woman behind the counter muttered. Temari turned very slowly to her. Bad timing. Oh yes. Bad timing.

"Oh you can offer it darling. But when you're asleep, I'll come for you. I'll come for you and bring my horde of demons and I will _eat your face and won't even make it look like an accident!_" She stalked away, trailed by Naruto who was trying, rather unsuccessfully, to lug both a suitcase and an unconscious Sasuke towards Deidara who just happened to appear at the opportune moment. Not before, of course, she got her free first class ticket. Can never have enough of those, especially when your traveling companions are a blond boy with a nut issue and an emo guy who suffers from Post-Traumatic Syndrome.

Thank god for blood, swearing, and the human nature to fear lawsuits. Temari wondered if she should have been a lawyer. Then everyone would have feared her. No need to shout. Only sign here…

* * *

"So what happened, un?" Deidara asked. Two blond males, two blonde females, one unconscious male and assorted children littered the car. It was like a clown car. Only dirtier. Deidara's wife, Remika, made little glares. Normally nice, she could be a little off when people were in her car. Gaara much? 

"Baggage accident," Naruto informed him.

"I got a first class ticket out of it though," Temari bubbled. "I need to thank my brother for taking care of his car so well!"

"What about Sasuke?" Naruto demanded. Temari paused, then shrugged.

"What about him?"

Naruto just glared. From the other side of the car, Remika made some hand gesture, then glared at Temari. No one was sure why they were feuding, but they were. It probably involved Temari making lewd comments about the Parenting Today magazine she had found under a half-decomposed box of cheerios.

"You know," Temari said, almost thoughtfully, "you would think they would have the sense not to use the term 'make your husband come inside' in a parenting magazine. No matter what the context." She threw the magazine. It bounced off Remika's head, a few loose cheerios getting in the woman's hair.

Remika flipped Temari off.

"Can't take a joke? Who raised you, a pack of celibate wolverines? Probably not very well, considering you have thirty kids."

Remika held up seven fingers threateningly.

"Oh, my mistake, seventy. Give my condolences to the forty I forgot in my attempt to give you the benefit of the doubt." She smiled condescendingly and picked a cheerio out of Remika's hair. "Did Remika want a cheerio?"

Chomp.

"Ow! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Do you suffer from Pica?!" Temari demanded, rubbing her abused and bleeding finger. "Pica is serious. Ou should get it checked out when you stop out to have baby number seventy one."

"I'm staying out of this, un," one blond man muttered under his breath.

"You know, I like this plan. Hey, how do you stop bleeding?" the other asked. "For Sasuke, not Temari. She deserves it."

"Indeed. Time. Ice. Compression. Weed."

"Really?"

"Maybe. I've never tried it un. Weed cures everything else, why not bleeding?"

"Good point, good point. Hey look! It's the big green sign! I always used to know we were almost home because I saw it. It's…" Naruto paused, "a pager store. Yeah. Giant green pager. Right next to Golf 'n' Stuff and near Salzer's and Ivy Lawn Memorial."

"Hold your breath," Sasuke reminded him sleepily. They passed the cemetery. It was a long cemetery.

"I thought you were asleep," Deidara remarked when they had passed it.

Sasuke mumbled some incoherency and rolled over. "I was…my subconscious couldn't resist an opportunity to make him be quiet."

"Ah…too true, too true…un…"

* * *

**o.O Angry Tema-chan. I was going to say something...hm...oh well. Maybe it was I love you? I don't know. I'll say it next chapter.**

**Wait, now I remember! Ah yes, the continuum is a little off due to icky time-management skills. This chapter is also yesterday's chapter which is today's chapter which is...you know, forget it. Just play along and pretend the magic sun made it a day.**


	20. Day 20: The Beach

**I had this creepy moment where I thought I hated SasuNaru. I mean, really, there was this moment in this fan fiction I was reading and suddenly it seemed so icky. Note to self: no matter how desperate, do not read crappy fan fiction. Bad shit will follow. (By the way, I have recovered. It was temporary hatred. Damn bad writers.) **

I no own.

* * *

When Naruto, Sasuke, Temari and assorted Deidara-relations arrived at Deidara's house (technically Temari's house), Temari went straight to her room and fell asleep. Sasuke and Naruto passed out on separate couches and Remika ushered small children back up to their rooms. 

They came to the next morning.

Temari, of course, was barely awake, having had horrible, horrible dreams involving nasty shit that she just remembered as _nasty_, even if she couldn't recall exactly what it was. She didn't want to look into it. That was like, ewwie. No. Kill dead, bitches. Probably involved Remika, cheerios, and some serious jealous Shika (who probably had good reason…).

When she had recovered from the revelation of her nightmare (definitely a nightmare, yes, definitely) she waddled downstairs to the kitchen she had practically grown up in, watching her mother cook and later trying to make food herself. She wasn't bad, just…unique. Kankuro, however, took a real liking to the art. Not that he ever told anyone. That's what his real job was, Temari thought sickly. He works in a kitchen. Not that he wouldn't be happy to move to Eugene where you can actually own a restaurant and not go bankrupt in a week.

"Morning un!" Deidara chirped. "Naruto suggests you stop screaming Remika's name at night before she hears you, un."

Temari fell out of her chair, passed out in shock.

"I told you saying that would be funny…"

"You don't think she believed that, do you, un?"

"I'm going to run now."

"Good idea un."

* * *

"I want to hit the beach. I haven't hit the beach in way too long," Naruto whined. "Please?" He looked pleadingly at Temari. Temari wrinkled her nose in disgust. 

"But I'll look fat in a bathing suit," she complained. "I don't have one that fits me."

"Remika has one, un!" Deidara called from the other room. Temari sighed.

"No running away, don't go out too far, and no burying anyone under the sand and _forgetting about them_. Oh, and stay with Sasuke. For reasons obvious and not." She waved a hand in the air. "I swear, if it's pink, I'm going topless."

The beach was warm. Temari liked it when she had a decent swimsuit, and the one Remika had lent her was actually pretty nice: black, a few horizontal stripes around the bust line and pretty good slimming capabilities. The instant Temari's flip-flop clad feet hit the sand, she was already taking off toward the water.

Sasuke and Naruto started walking down the beach. Sasuke didn't really like the water all that much, being unable to swim very well (though he had taken YMCA swimming classes) and so opted to stay on the beach.

"You sure you don't want to come in?" Naruto asked, sitting just below the water line on the muddy shore. Sasuke shook his head mutely. "No?" Naruto stuck out his lower lip cutely. Sasuke didn't budge.

"Water doesn't like me."

The tide rushed in against Naruto's back, plunging his head beneath the surface. It receded soon after, leaving a wet, grinning blond boy in its wake. "You sure? It's really nice. You won't drown. There's thirty million people here, including me and Temari. She was on the swim team."

"Still," Sasuke muttered. "I burn easily." He crawled under their umbrella.

Naruto chuckled. "If you're not going to get in the water, at least get in the sun! Your stomach is completely white." The black of Sasuke's swim trunks was indeed a stark contrast to his pale skin. "Please?" The blond boy stood, dripping wet, and traipsed to where Sasuke lounged. He sat opposite his friend.

After ten minutes of pleading, Sasuke finally crawled out from under his umbrella cave. Instantly he and Naruto were swamped with preppy teenage girls, dressed in pink bikinis and lime tank-tops. Sasuke winced.

"Oh you're both so cute!" one of them squealed. They looked like high school freshmen, maybe sophomores. One of them, unlike her friends, was scowling.

"They aren't _that_ cute," she growled, getting up and drifting towards the water. "Whatever, I'm off to swim. And by the way," she turned around briefly, "they're gay."

There was a roar of 'oh, you're just a jealous lesbian' from the preppies and a 'I'm _pansexual_ and you're 'I-can-never-have-them-sexual, why the hell do I even hang out with you?'. There was a bit of banter, ending with 'because my mother made me', and the only non-obsessive girl went to swim.

"How does she know?" Naruto hissed in a low voice, just out of the fawning teenager's hearing range.

"I think she was in our English class," Sasuke hissed in return. "Remember her, the one who always won every contest every year? Yeah, that was her I think."

"Oh yeah! I-- do not remember her. Can we get rid of them though?" Naruto made a sweeping gesture at the teenage females around them.

Sasuke nodded. "Ladies, please excuse us, we have business to attend to." Sasuke stood, as did Naruto, and the two started their speedy escape, far away from the teenage girls. They located a place near the edge of the water, having successfully evaded the prying eyes of female jailbait.

"We should go swimming," Naruto suggested, trying to sound as casual as possible. Sasuke fixed him with a stony glare.

"I don't want to."

"I thought you took swimming classes?" Naruto asked, wrinkling his nose cutely.

"That doesn't mean I can swim in the ocean, Loser."

"I'll make Temari come with us," Naruto suggested. "You won't drown. If you stay close you can just stand up. It's fun."

"Hn."

"Don't be so cold," Naruto muttered, taking Sasuke gingerly by the hand. Sasuke flinched. "The water is nice." He laced his fingers with Sasuke's. "Please?" he begged, his lower lip pouting out cutely. Sasuke sighed.

"Whatever," he muttered. Naruto grinned and yanked Sasuke towards the sea's edge, practically breaking both their hands in the process. When they caught up with the tide, Sasuke eyed it cautiously, carefully, apprehensively.

"Come on Sasu-chan," Naruto bubbled, stepping toe first into the glittering pale water. Sasuke followed, flinching at the contact of cold water against his skin. "Just relax." Naruto wrapped a wet arm around Sasuke's waist and drug the slight boy into the water. "See? Not so bad."

"No," Sasuke muttered. "Not so bad." He drifted a little closer to Naruto none-the-less and nuzzled the other boy's hair. His pale feet groped along the rocky bottom for sand he could curl his toes into. Finally he found a patch of sand to latch onto, instantly feeling safer.

Naruto grinned, licking a few extra droplets of water off Sasuke's soaked face. He moved down, finding the other boy's mouth and biting at swollen, salt-caked lips. "Not so bad is right. I'm proud of you." He winked. Sasuke glared.

"I hate you."

"Don't make me let go," Naruto warned. Sasuke clutched his friend unconsciously. Naruto smiled wistfully and pressed his lips to Sasuke's cheek. "Love you too baby."

* * *

Sasuke swore. "Do you have to rub so damn hard Temari?" 

"Hey! I'm doing you a favor! You know what? Naruto, you can do it. Remika and I are going to go make waffles." Temari handed Naruto a white tube and stalked away. Sasuke blinked after her. '_Mood swing much?_' he wondered. '_And when did she become Remika's friend?_'

"Did you want me to do it for you?" Naruto asked. Sasuke was half-way through the demon-process, white scream splattering over his back, lying pathetically on the couch.

"What do you think?" he growled.

"You know one of the signs of sociopaths!" Temari called from the kitchen, "Failure to plan! Serves you right for getting a sunburn! You kicked Murphy back in Shasta." There was the banging of pots and pans, a couple of expletives, and then silence.

"Did you want me to finish your back?" Naruto asked, holding up the burn cream. Sasuke nodded miserably. Naruto grinned and perched on the edge of the couch, rubbing cream over his fingers and setting to work rubbing it gently over Sasuke's cherry-red flesh.

"This is your fault," Sasuke growled.

"I should have let you go in the middle of the ocean. Temari would have come after you. Eventually." Naruto applied slightly more pressure than was necessary. Sasuke winced.

"You wouldn't," Sasuke bit back. He sounded a little hurt, Naruto noted. Sasuke almost never sounded hurt. Well, almost never.

"You're right. I'd never leave you alone in water," Naruto assured him quickly. "You don't have to be an asshole though, considering you've gone through three people putting on this burn cream and all of them have given up."

"Hn," Sasuke muttered, as if in defense. Naruto finished the last of Sasuke's sunburns. Sasuke sat up, wincing. He was flushed all over, his usually pale skin bright red.

"Next time remember sunscreen," Naruto giggled, shifting to sit beside his friend.

"Whatever. You didn't put any on."

"I don't burn like you do. In case you missed it, I'm not red."

Sasuke smirked, lowering his lips to Naruto's neck and sucking hard. When he pulled back, a bright cherry hickey was left in its place. "You are now." He shifted a little to the left and sucked again. "And you are again." He slid one pale hand downwards to Naruto's jeans and rubbed, dipping slender fingers into the waistband of the boxers underneath and swirling them around in circles against the hot skin beneath.

"Fuck…" Naruto moaned, his hips bucking involuntarily.

"That's the idea."

* * *

**If only they went all the way...but it's Temari in the next room and Deidara's 7 kids...like that's going to happen...**

**Three notes:**

**1. I love swimming in the ocean. I miss it...I never get to go in Oregon, to cold. I went when I lived in California a lot though.**

**2. I nearly died writing this. I was chewing a bent safety-pin ala Genma and I read some funny fanfiction and nearly choked.**

**3. I drank strawberry lemonade while writing this.

* * *

Drop me a line...the email system is off (at least for me), so I figured, why not respond to my reviewers via regular email (this is mostly directed at Kuso.Girl, who probably thinks I'm a stalker. I used to drive by Golf 'n' stuff a lot! And shop at Trader Joes. AND EAT AT EL POLLO LOCO AND PANDA EXPRESS AND THAT FUNKY GREEK PLACE!!!111!one:sobs defensively:)**

Anyway...you can find me at japanpoet at hotmail dot com. If you need questions answered or the like (or just want to hear t3h fuzzie psychobabble) do type in the pretty letters and talk to me.


	21. Day 21: Airport

**Ew. Includes rape flashbackness. Ewwie. Anyway, I sorry I no update, been volunteering at the DisOrient Asian Film Festival. It fun.**

**If I owned, Naruto would include anarchy. Whether it would be my doing or the characters is still to be decided.**

* * *

"But…but…"

"No buts. There are no buts. We are going to go back today, there has been a change of arrangements, partial ownership of a bunch of stuff, and seducing a stewardess. That's final."

"But…"

"I thought we already went over this."

"But…"

"Naruto! SHUT UP!"

"TEMARI YOUR SHIRT IS ON FIRE!"

"Thank you for-- WHAT?!" Temari shrieked, patting wildly at the hem of her tee-shirt. "Oh my god firefirefire…" she cried. Eventually she located a glass of milk and tossed it on her front, effectively putting out the firey flames of d00m. "Why," she turned, looking milky (Naruto tried not to snicker), "did no one tell me that THE DISHRAG LIT MY SHIRT ON FI-YAH?!"

"You never asked?"

* * *

"Come on, come on!" Temari urged, prodding Sasuke and Naruto forward. Sasuke flinched.

"Excuse me, could I see some form of ID?" the stewardess of the plane asked. Temari looked mildly annoyed. She could tell the lady was switching her gaze from the blond girl's engagement ring to her swollen stomach and back again. Temari, being Temari, felt the need to make the woman feel stupid.

"Hey you guys," she said, digging out her wallet and handing it to the stewardess. Multitask anyone? "You think they finished cleaning my wedding ring yet?"

Sasuke sighed. Temari seriously needed to stop trying to make the world collapse. It would eventually get old. Might as well save the punk-chick some trouble. He nodded and the stewardess waved them onwards. Temari shot a glare behind her. Sasuke sighed again.

"I call window seat," Naruto cried.

"Already did that!" Temari shot back.

"Look, there are two seat in each row. Temari take the window seat in that row. Naruto, you take the aisle seat with this row. You get up too much. Just don't argue. We're not even off the ground."

"So what!" Temari snapped. "I am now the partial owner of two houses. I rule all. Shut up." She leaned her head back and fell asleep. Sasuke rubbed his temples. This teenage girl was very troublesome. '_Great,_' he muttered to himself. '_I've turned into Shikamaru, only I'm on the other end of the Temari loving spectrum._'

About ten minutes after the plane leveled out, the stewardesses began. "Hello," one of them said, pausing their car in front of Naruto and Sasuke's aisle. Sasuke's head jerked up. He knew that tone. It was often used on him. It was, however, being used not on him but on his blond companion.

"Hey," Naruto replied, grinning in return.

Sasuke twitched.

"So what did you want today?" The way she smiled, bending over to make her face level with Naruto and exposing all of that _cleavage_ made Sasuke sick. Like, hurl-in-the-bag-sick. Why would he being going out with guys if he liked looking at cleavage? He wasn't a real fan of physical contact, but he felt suddenly inclined to slip his hand over to Naruto's knee.

Naruto _ignored_ him. Sasuke swore the woman shot him a triumphant gaze. He grimaced. He grimaced a lot. Naruto continued to ignore Sasuke.

Finally the stewardess walked away, pausing at the lavatory when she reached it. Little did she know, Sasuke had been following her.

Fight ensues. Much growling.

"What did you want?" Sasuke demanded.

"Your blonde friend," the stewardess responded. She adjusted her brown hair and the pink bandanna on her head.

Sasuke glared at her. "You mean my boyfriend? Stay away from him."

The stewardess paused. Then she laughed. She laughed for a good two minutes. Finally she stopped, dried her eyes, and met Sasuke's angry black ones. "Not him…your other blonde friend! The chick!" She started snickering again. "I'm the only female employee not wearing a skirt…I would have thought I radiate butch-ness, but I guess not."

"Hn."

The stewardess glanced back and forth. "If you wanted a little hint, the back lav doesn't lock really well, but the one in the middle is a little bit bigger and the walls are thicker, if you know what I mean." She elbowed Sasuke in the ribs. He flinched. "Good luck." With a wink, the stewardess was gone.

Sasuke suddenly wished she had been flirting with Naruto. Then he would have been able to smack her one. Then again, her biceps were pretty big…probably had a tattoo somewhere…maybe he shouldn't have talked to her at all…grumble grumble…

Sasuke returned to his seat a few minutes later. Temari was gone, probably to have a fling with the stewardess (no proof though, she was a whore who would get away with it…not that he could blame her, with mood swings one setting _had_ to be 'horny'). The raven climbed carefully over Naruto and into his spot by the window. When he sat down in the maroon plush seat, the blond boy's head swiveled to face him, blue eyes fixing on black ones.

"Did you talk to the stewardess? She's nice," Naruto said. Sasuke ignored the question. The air plane shifted and Sasuke jumped. The sun would be setting soon. It would be dark by the time they reached Portland, Sasuke noted. He hated airports in the dark. He shut his eyes and rolled over. He hated airports in the dark…

Angsty Flashback Bitches!

"Sasuke, come with me," Orochimaru whispered, taking hold of Sasuke's hand. Sasuke jerked his fingers away. The light from the florescent lamps of the restroom cast eerie shadows over Orochimaru's face. "Now Sasuke, don't be difficult." Outside, the moon was full and the sky was pitch black.

Sasuke shook his head. "I'd rather stay here than go with you."

Orochimaru bit his lips, obviously trying to control his rage and keep his composure. "Oh, but you don't have a choice." The snake-like man shoved Sasuke against the plaster wall, slipping his lanky hand under his charge's shirt. Sasuke whimpered, the rough wall poking into his back. The older man pressed his lips harshly against Sasuke's. The younger boy gasped and Orochimaru took this opportunity to slip his forked tongue into his victim's mouth. Sasuke bit down, but got a knee in the stomach for his trouble.

"Now now, hold still…" Orochimaru ground painfully against Sasuke, pulling back just long enough to slip two fingers below the edge of Sasuke's jeans. Long nails met slowly hardening skin and Sasuke winced as sudden pain shot through his body. "You wouldn't want this to hurt any more than it has too, now would you.?" Orochimaru ran his tongue over Sasuke's exposed neck slowly, biting down with sharp teeth the juncture where the neck met the shoulder and lapping sadistically at the copper blood that pooled. Instants later, Sasuke found himself suddenly whirled around and inside one of the bathroom stalls. The space was enclosed and reeked of Orochimaru and all the others before them.

"Stop," Sasuke protested.

"Is that the best you can do?" Orochimaru asked, looking mildly offended. He pressed his fingers against Sasuke again, using his other hand to tug off Sasuke's jeans and discard them on the green, linoleum floor. Orochimaru shoved the teenager's head downwards, letting go of him just long enough to step back, just a hair, so he could see the pained expression on Sasuke's face, to memorize it before it changed from sorrow and fear to pain and anger. Just to see it. "You're a disgrace."

With those words, Orochimaru had proceeded to strip Sasuke of any dignity he might have had left in the most brutal is disgusting way possible in a restroom at night, during a stopover from Osaka to Los Angeles.

End Angty Flashback Bitches.

"Oh my god…"

Sasuke's eyes snapped open and he bolted upright. The plane was quiet and the glass outside was black. Sweat had started dribbling down his face and he could feel his eyes prickling from tears that had long ago been trained never to fall.

"Sasuke?" Naruto's groggy voice inquired from beside him. "Are you okay?"

"No," Sasuke breathed. "Go back to sleep."

By now, Naruto was awake. "What's wrong Sasuke?" The blond boy pushed up the arm rest to scoot closer to his shaken friend. "What happened? Did you have a bad dream?" His tone must have dropped at least an octave and at least twenty-five decibels, barely about a low whisper. It made Sasuke feel calmer. Not so terrified.

"Hn."

"That's not an answer. You're sweating. Come on, just breath, it's not real," Naruto soothed. Sasuke leaned over, resting his head on the younger boy's shoulder. He could feel himself shaking. Naruto carefully smoothed Sasuke's dark hair out with one hand, wiping dry sweaty skin with the other.

"But it is real," Sasuke replied shakily. He choked a little on the last word.

"Not any more. You should sleep. If you have any more bad dreams," Naruto paused, "it'll be fine, I promise." He pressed his lips to Sasuke creased forehead before moving down to do the same to the older boy's eyes, and then his chapped and quaking lips. "Promise."

* * *

**Ew. OroSasu. Hate it. Must be done though. Do review. And hey! I APPEAR IN THE CHAPTER!**


	22. Day 22: Airport and Home Base

**Yay! Author AND reviewer insert (my darling Kuso.Girl, here you are!) and NO OROSASU IN SIGHT! Bitches. Anyways, I have a cool disclaimer.**

**The day I own Naruto is the day I become an Orlando Bloom fangirl, the United States converts to socialism, and Lt. Commander Richie falls in love with me. Dude. Never. Going. To. Happen.**

* * *

"Are you interested in purchasing some of this high-quality cookie dough today?" 

"No."

"We're trying to raise money for our school so we can develop new programs and improve existing ones so we can become more intelligent, enlightened, and well-rounded individuals. Cookie dough comes in thirty-six pre-rolled balls. Just pop, bake until hard, and there they come."

Gaara rubbed his temples. By the way the girl selling cookies was grinning almost rabidly, he had a feeling she knew full well what she had just said. Most likely, she had said it on purpose.

"Don't do that Dai…" the grinning girl's companion complained. "We're trying to sell cookies, not traumatize them for life."

"But Yumi darling, can't we do both?" The first girl asked. She waved her friend off though, turning her attention to Gaara. "So…" She grinned. Gaara raised a non-existent eyebrow. The other girl, Yumi, stepped forward.

"Hi."

"I already told your friend I didn't want any cookie-- what is she doing with that camera? Hey! Girl! Get the fuck away from those flowers!"

"They're just calling to be photographed…"

"I love your eyeliner," Yumi crooned, deciding to take a tip from her friend who always did that and usually, somehow, got people to buy. Usually she just talked until they were so confused the only word possible was 'yes'. 'No' meant another stream of words. 'Yes' meant she shut up and left.

"Don't bother, Dai's gay-dar is off the charts!" the flower-photographer shouted in warning. "Now if only it would go off around _women_…"

"Would you please buy some cookie dough?"

"No."

"Please?" Yumi stuck out her bottom lip, holding out the order form and tracing it with a slightly limp wrist. Gaara was about to reply when he caught the faintest smell of smoke.

"What the hell are you doing?!" he demanded. Dai looked up. "Are you a fucking pyromaniac?"

"Ninety percent of pyromaniacs are men and pyromania is the use of fire to relieve stress. Pyromaniac? No. Pen based kleptomaniac, photographer and pica-sufferer, yes. Besides, it's art! Look! The flames look so nice against the wilting, smoldering, burning daffodils…"

"Look, we need the fucking money," Yumi said, addressing Gaara flatly, "so buy a tub of fucking cookie dough and I'll make her burn someone else's flowers.'

"I'll take eleven."

* * *

Sasuke leaned against the plastic chair of the airport terminal. There was a lay-over, a delayed plane, a cancelled plan, and they were going to be there another three hours. Naruto argued it would have been faster just to drive, but Temari had already paid for tickets and had refused to move. 

"So cold," Sasuke muttered. He stared blankly into the distance. "So, so cold."

Temari didn't comment on the fact that it had to be at least eighty degrees in the terminal. Naruto sat beside his dark haired friend, Sasuke's head rested on Naruto's lap. He stared into the distance, untangling the knots in Sasuke's hair absentmindedly.

"We're going to be boarding soon," Temari said to Naruto. His head swiveled to face hers.

"I know. You think he'll be okay?" Naruto gestured to the dark-haired boy that lay beside him. Temari's face changed, somewhere between concerned and exasperated.

"He's Uchiha Sasuke. Of course he's going to be okay. You don't need to worry." She waved one hand in the air, noting Naruto didn't look convinced. "He's not suicidal any more, you know? And he doesn't mind being touched any more, at least not by you." Temari reached out and ruffled Naruto's hair, tucking a few bright strands behind his ear and dusting a piece of lint off the side of his face. "You take good care of him."

"We all take good care of him."

Temari snorted and rested her head on the back of the plastic chair behind her. "I can't believe you said that…it's all you. You're like a fucking mother hen. In the most literal way possible, you know, since you fuck…" She trailed off.

"We do not fuck!" Naruto shouted. Half the terminal spun their heads to look at him. "We do not fuck," he repeated in a whisper. Temari laughed a high, pure laugh.

"I know."

The dark-haired boy began to quake gently. Naruto sighed, bending his head just enough to press his lips against Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke promptly stopped shaking and fell back into the deeper reaches of sleep.

Minutes ticked by. Temari busied herself with reading a magazine that one of her klepto friends had stolen recently while Naruto continued just to untangle the knots that had formed in Sasuke's silky hair. The dark haired boy sighed and shuddered in his sleep, refusing to be quiet long enough to really fall asleep. Someone shot them a harsh glare. Temari shot them. With an apple core. From the trash.

"Will all passengers in rows sixteen through thirty two please board, sixteen through twenty four please board now, that's sixteen through twenty four."

"That's us," Temari chirped. She shook Naruto's shoulder. The blond boy snapped from his daze, muttering incoherently. "That's us," Temari repeated.

"Oh, okay…wake up Sasuke," Naruto muttered, shaking Sasuke gently. The boy's eyes shot open and he sat bolt upright. "We're boarding. You can sleep on the plane." Naruto stood, offering Sasuke a hand up. A pale hand extended, grasping the darker one, hoisting a fragile body upwards to its feet.

Temari picked up their luggage and began to follow the two boys. Naruto supported Sasuke carefully, dragging them to their seats at the center of the plane. He set the boy down beside him before taking his seat in the middle row. Temari stashed the luggage before taking her spot in the aisle.

"How's it going?" she asked, almost timidly, cautiously, carefully. Naruto eyed her.

"Fine. Poor Sasuke's tried though." He ruffled the now-sleeping boy's hair. "I can't wait to get back to everyone."

"Me too. I miss my Shika-Shika." The blonde girl smiled fondly. She missed her brother too. The runway in the dark, the orange, unnatural light reminded her of him. '_Beautiful darkly._' "You should probably sleep. It's not very far at all from Portland to Eugene, but you haven't rested since we left Deidara's."

"I'm not tired," Naruto said. "I'll sleep when we get home."

"Whatever," Temari muttered. "Wake me up when we land." She shut her eyes and promptly fell asleep. Naruto brushed a couple of strands of hair behind the serene (for now) girl's ear and turned his attention to the runway that lay just outside the window. He stared out the window at the runway, black with cuts of unnatural orange light. It struck him as pretty. They took off a few moments later, the blue and orange and green lights disappearing beneath the black clouds.

Sasuke stirred awake when the plane leveled out. He shivered with sleep and cold, tugging the blanket stashed under the seat over his trembling body. One of Naruto's blue eyes clicked open, shifting to focus on Sasuke.

"You going to share that?" he asked. Sasuke glanced up. His lips quirked into a slight smirk, fiendish in its own right.

"Lay down," he ordered, pushing up the cup holder that separated his seat from Naruto's. The two boys stretched out parallel to each other, feet intertwining. Sasuke rested his cheek on Naruto chest and shut his eyes. They dragged the scratchy grey airport blanket over their bodies and curled up to sleep.

* * *

Temari put her keys on the counter and collapsed in the chair in the kitchen. She glanced at the clock. It was nearly one in the morning. The house was almost entirely silent, except for Sasuke and Naruto walking up the stairs (more like dragging). 

"How was it?" a voice asked. Temari's head swiveled. Gaara stood in the doorway. "Was it good to go home again?"

Temari chuckled. "This is home now," she said. Gaara sat opposite her. "I'll never see California as home again, I don't think. Deidara said we can have our house back in the winter. Something about the winters here inspiring him. What are you doing up so late?"

"I'm always up this late. That, and I wanted to see you."

Temari beamed. "I missed you little brother. Hey, I grabbed you a CD. Signed." She reached into the abandoned carry-on bag and took out a flat CD case. "It's a new band…seems to be pretty good."

"You tired?"

"Not really."

"We should listen to it. We can sit on the porch like we used to--"

"Before dad died," Temari completed. "I'm in." She grabbed her jacket off the back of the chair and tugged it around her body. "It's cold for summer." She tugged a blue sweatshirt over Gaara's head. "Come on." She slung an arm around his waist and picked up the boom box by the door.

The two set up their music, setting it just low enough not to bother anyone. The music was probably somewhere in the Post-Hardcore Punk range. Gaara and Temari agreed it was pretty good and that the band would eventually be discovered.

"You want to dance?" Temari asked suddenly. Gaara glanced up.

"I don't dance," he said.

"I know you do," Temari argued. "Remember, we used to way back when. Dance with me…" She pouted.

"Fine." No one, ever, could get Gaara to dance outside of a club besides his sister. The two of them proceeded to…dance…most literally, under the moonlight. But…it was just the two of them, and it was like they were little kids again: young enough not to care about the time of day or who they were, just twirling to the beat of music, giggling when one of them mistyped. It was their secret, the two of them, dancing together. The two never spoke much besides good natured jabs or the occasional comforting word. Music…they could reconnect. They could repair bonds broken over time.

They talked. They talked the entire length of the CD, voices in time to their bodies in time to their music, whispered that caught in the other's ears and on the wind, drifting away to tell some flower somewhere all their secrets.

The CD ended.

"We should sleep," Temari said.

Gaara nodded, then cast his gaze down. "Temari?"  
"Hm?"

"Thanks for the CD."

"Of course little brother." The blond girl pulled her younger brother into a hug,. Gaara stood there rigidly for a few seconds, stunned at the sudden contact, before slowly moving his arms around his sister's waist to awkwardly return her hug.

"Temari?" he asked again.

"Hm?"

"You know I love you, right?"

Temari smiled fondly, hugging her younger brother tighter. She ran her fingers through his garnet hair and nodded, pressing her lips to the top of his head. "I know little brother," she breathed. "Of course I know."

They walked back inside, shut the door quietly, and went up to their respective rooms to sleep beside their respective lovers.

The music still played in their heads, however, in Temari's dream and in Gaara's head as he lay awake. Temari realized she had missed her brother, the two of them having grown distant over time. Ever since she had started high school. That CD…that music…that dance…

All the secrets they had kept from each other over the years, of affairs with people, coming home late and never mentioning it; of the fact that Temari drank too much and Gaara was probably disturbed or at least, had been; that they never talked any more and that their bonds had been broken. All the lies and the unspoken truths…

It flooded away.

Bonds once shattered were put together again.

Beautiful darkly.

* * *

**At the car wash Wenedsday, I actually used the cookie dough pitch to try and get people to get their cars washed. It WORKED. Oooh...my class went to Ashland Oregon to see 'As You Like It'. 30's costumes! It was so great...long trip (12.75 hours there and back, including play and dinner). My mom said it was the greatest play she had ever seen though (she went. She was a kid watcher-- I mean, chaperone to all us mature persons), and I agree. Yay Oregon Shakespeare Festival.**

**I loved the person who played Celia...**


	23. Day 23: Sunrise Asian Market

**I disclaim! And Lt. Commander Richie does get into this chapter (as do I)...hey, I like throwing reviewers in (I've done several). Kuso.Girl appears again because...I dunno. Because. Anyways, moving on.**

**I own like I own the who in my own head.**

* * *

"Eleven tubs of cookie dough? Gaara, what the hell were you thinking?! Eleven?! At fourteen bucks a piece?" Temari demanded. "What were you thinking?" She shook her brother wildly.

"I'm not sure you understand, Temari, she was lighting the flowers on fire. What about the environment? It was burning wood chips, which causes harmful greenhouse gases to be released into the atmosphere and contributes to the destruction of the ozone layer."

"Did you memorize that out of a text book? Shove the environment! What about the economy?"

"Look, lady, I'm going to drop this cookie dough off now," Yumi said, "or I will sick Dai on those flowers of yours."

"I want my money back!" the blond girl shouted.

"Hey Dai! What do you think this _house_ would look like if it were on fire?" Yumi called down the stairs. The girl, Dai it was presumed, glanced up, adjusting the pink handkerchief that covered her dark brown hair.

"Good. Very good. If the wind was blowing that was, it would just look brilliant against the pink of the dying blossoms and the smoke would be really billowing and thick…" The excitement in her voice reminded Temari briefly of Gai and, strangely, the lizard.

"Okay, okay! We'll take the cookie dough!"

* * *

"You! Girl! With the hair." 

"Wow, Kankuro, real specific…"

"Oh, shove it Kiba."

"I guess we know how all the Sabaku boys swing."

"Dude, not cool! You're only allowed to say that if you're like, gay…"

"In case you didn't notice, my girlfriend lost her virginity to a chick. You, if I recall correctly."

"And she was good too."

"Hey! Kankuro, back-up please…"

"You brought this on yourself." Kankuro smirked and sauntered towards the frozen food section of Sunrise Asian Market. Temari shot a glare at Kiba before sashaying towards the house wares section. Kiba sighed and shook his head. From his vantage point on behind the produce, Naruto observed.

"Neurofuzzy!" Temari shrieked from the other side of the partial partition dividing the pottery and cookery section from the dried food section. Naruto's head swiveled. He didn't know what a 'Neurofuzzy' was and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out. Temari returned with a rice cooker a few moments later. "Neurofuzzy!" she proclaimed, thrusting it into Naruto's arms. Naruto blinked.

"What?"

"Neurofuzzy!" Temari looked beyond words as she rocked back and forth gleefully. Naruto surveyed the rice cooker. Indeed, it was called 'Neurofuzzy'.

"Whatever you say Tema…" he muttered, passing the rice cooker back to her. She clutched it to her chest and leapt around in circles before disappearing into the next alcove to observe ancient Asian movies on VHS. Naruto reasoned the blond girl figured a couple of Kurosawa flicks would keep the house-leech quiet. It certainly kept Temari quiet through half of fifth grade.

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata whispered. Naruto nearly jumped. '_Who else would it be?_' he asked himself. Only Hinata addressed him with the 'kun' suffix, seeing as she had grown accustomed to suffixes around her traditional father. '_Bastard,_' Naruto added for good measure to make up for all the times he had broken the Road Trip Decree about throwing darts at the photograph of the Hyuuga Mutherfucking whore-face (no long worthy of a name).

"Yeah?"

"I was wondering where Temari is."

"Back there. She's going to fend off the Deidara-mooch with more Asian films and, apparently, a rice cooker called the Neurofuzzy."

"MY NEUROFUZZY!"

"Okay, her Neurofuzzy." Naruto rolled his eyes and wandered off into the pocky section, and then the frozen food aisle, and then the deli place, and then he found himself back where he was before, utterly confused.

Then he saw it.

It was there.

Next to the udon.

God.  
It was _glowing_.

It was _bad for you_.

It was so beautiful.

Cellophane temples.

Gorgeous, gorgeous web-compatible packaging color scheme.

Oh the glory.

Oh the _youth_.

It was…

Ramen.

Naruto was met with a very blank look when he went to ring up all of his ramen. Okay, maybe taking home a total of 111 packages was a little excessive, but it was 'get 10 get one free'. Temari had noticed that meant buying a hundred packages got you ten free ones, which got you another one free. It wasn't until Naruto had actually taken her up on that did anyone realize that was the wrong observation to make.

"Hurry up!" someone shouted from behind them.

"Don't need to be rude Cai…" another person behind them countered.

"He has one hundred and eleven packages of ramen. I can be rude."

"We want our udon as much as the next person."

"Well--"

Lick.

Naruto busied himself with ringing up his ramen.

* * *

"So we have a total of three hundred and ninety six possible cookies in cookie dough form and one hundred and eleven packages of ramen," Neji calculated. "It should last us a long time." 

"Not the way Naruto eats," Sasuke muttered. Naruto looked up at the sound of his name and then glanced back to his fourth bowl of ramen. "Besides," Sasuke continued, "he's already eaten four bowls of ramen and someone," he glared pointedly at Temari, "has eaten six of those cookie dough lumps. Not going to say who though…how's the turtle fudge cookies tasting over there, _Temari_?"

"Um…I don't know…" Temari jammed another pre-rolled former cookie-wannabe in her mouth. "What? I crave caramel! Someone," cue pointed glare at Gaara, "bought enough to last us forever and a day! Lighten up Sasuke."

"Stop being bitter because you have no booze."

The nine teenagers sat in the living room. They had pushed all the furniture beside the couch to the edges of the room and were just laying in the center. It was nearly nine thirty and the sun had just set. Temari had set up 'Tale of Two Sisters' at the request of the Deidara-mooch who, Temari noticed, also seemed to enjoy hanging out at Sunrise and _licking_ her friends.

"So now what?" Kankuro asked, shoving a couple of marshmallows into Hinata's mouth. They had enough junk to last them forever, mostly because they were going to need all the storage space possible for the ramen and the cookie dough, and seeing as Temari and Gaara refused to toss it, everyone was going on a 'let's eat like Choji' marathon to make room. "Hey! Kiba! Pass the Doritos!" Kankuro shouted over the din of the movie.

"As much as you hate it, I'm the only one in this world you can call mother, got it?" the stepmother on the screen demanded. Naruto shivered, moving instinctively closer to Sasuke and Hinata.

"Scared?" Kiba teased. Naruto gulped. He was terrified.

"And then she was all, 'there's a girl under the sink' and then-- BOO!" Kiba grabbed Naruto by the shoulders. Naruto let out an ear splitting wail and buried his face is Sasuke's chest.

"You scared him," Sasuke observed, sounding mildly annoyed. "You're not the one who's going to have to listen to him whine about how the wardrobe is going to fall on him all night."

"Serves you right."

"Hn."

"Uwah! There's a girl under the sink!"

"Yes, Naruto, there is a girl under the sink. She is not going to eat you. Too bad too…"

Naruto looked mortified. Sasuke sighed, slinging one arm cautiously around the other boy's shoulders and pulling their bodies flush against each other's. "They're just playing with you," Sasuke assured him, whispered gently in the younger boy's ear. "I promise. It's just a movie."

"Yeah," Temari jumped in. "The actress playing Su-Mi actually auditioned for Su-Yeon."

"You know this how?"

"Dude, it's Asian horror. You totally have to read the production notes or you just don't get it." She shook her head and leaned against Shikamaru, who put and arm around her waist.

The movie ended. Of course, no one understood it except Temari.

"Oh come on, it wasn't that hard! The bloody fish was just _there_. That's the great part of Asian Horror! Half the stuff makes no sense. Like why the dad kept the wardrobe and what exactly happened to the brother's wife."

"Ah. Next time, we watch Saw. Really simple: man kill."

"But where's the art?" Temari demanded. "Where's the beauty. Asian film…you know, the DisOrient Asian Film Festival…I went up here for that this Spring, it was great. Monument made me cry and so did the Cats of Mirikitani. And Asian Hunter…you tube. Youtube."

Sasuke sighed. "I'm going to drag him upstairs now," he said, gesturing to Naruto. "Before you traumatize him further." Sasuke tightened his grip around Naruto's waist and started for the stairs.

"No!" Naruto shrieked. Temari swore, hearing a gun shot go off in the neighbor's yard. Deidara apparently didn't have the friendliest of people to share a street with.

"Look, we'll all sleep down here, okay guys?" Temari looked pointedly at her companions.

"I'm game."

"No group orgy," Temari said suddenly.

"Aww…" Kiba looked mock-disappointed.

"Decree Seventeen. Oh yeah, and the neighbors were complaining."

"Well if the _neighbors_ don't like it…"

"Kiba darling, I like the way you think."

Sasuke suddenly wondered if the neighbors were above murder one.

* * *

**Okay, so 'Monument' and 'The Cats of Mirikitani' at the Asian Film Festival really did make me cry...and you can search Asian Hunter on youtube. There aren't any of the titles that were in the actual production (something about chasing Asians for Homework giving bad leg cramps), but it's still funny. Ah, busting stereotypes.**

**Also, since someone asked, Temari is like, three and a half months along. Somewhere in there. If there were ever to be a sequel to this (maybe, I dunno, assuming anyone would still read the drivel), it will have time skipped past her actually having her kid...who doesn't love babies? **

**TALE OF TWO SISTERS! Yes! Korean Horror! Hot dead chicks! VENGENCE!**

**Um...Moving on...**


	24. Day 24: Eugene

**Thanks, by the way, to Chikin-Ass-Hair Uchiha who gave me the Temari-Taco idea. And thanks to my little sister's friend, on whom the lollipop comment is based.**

**I own. That's right, not kidding. Not at all. I really do own. Not Naruto, but I own a 'Freedom' flag with Bob Marely on it, several candles, a Rubik's Cube, a ass load of red antibiotic pills that smell like sulfur and my author insert. And your soul. Just admit it.**

* * *

"Taco."

"Yes, Temari, Taco Bell…what about it?"

"I want a taco."

"But you're a vegetarian."

"I want a taco."

"You know, you have been a vegetarian since sixth grade."

"I want a taco!"

"I--"

"I WANT A GODAMNED TACO!"

Shikamaru and Kiba sighed in unison, glanced at each other, and sighed again. Kiba was voting for giving Temari the taco. Shikamaru was pretty sure she would regret it later and decided to forbid all Taco-ing. Since he was driving, he won.

"No taco."

"No taco, no sex."

"Ah, implications…"

It took all of Shikamaru's willpower to keep driving and neither get a taco nor slap Kiba.

* * *

"Remind me again why we're here?" Kankuro demanded. Gaara glanced up. 

"I cleaned your room when Leah came over. You owe me."

"It was one room cleaning!" Kankuro protested. "One room cleaning _in the sixth grade_! How the hell do you even remember that? Besides, it was _seven years ago!_" Kankuro glanced around angrily. Gaara didn't look at all phased.

"So what. You owe me." Then, Gaara was run over by a small child. A small, bubbly, sticky child with black hair and green eyes and a blue parka. The cuteness factor…the cuteness factor was brutally, brutally overwhelming.

"Sorry," the little boy chirped. Gaara made a sort of smile.

"No problem," he assured the boy. The child scurried off.

"Why," Kankuro began, measuring each of his words, "are we volunteering at a day care center? Why? Anywhere but here! Anywhere."

"Oh brother dearest," Gaara replied coolly. "I can make you eat your words."

The look in Gaara's eye reminded Kankuro, in a sudden explosion of memory (repressed and otherwise), of the time he had taken Murphy to get the van washed. It was horrifying. Terrible. Kankuro paused a moment in his contemplation. "Have I mention how much I love children?" A seven-or-so-girl began tugging on his pants, yelling about how 'she wanted his lollypop'. '_Implications. Bad, bad implications. She's seven. It's not legal…at least not for another eleven years. Nine in Florida.'_ Another pause in contemplation. _'Not that I'd even think that...Ew. That's nasty. I swear, I need to get laid. Like, now. Right now. Take my mind off the world and all these _kids!'

And that was when Kankuro spotted the _other_ day care employee.

She couldn't have been more than fourteen or fifteen, but it was better than all the other options, none of whom were over ten. The employee ('_she looks like a June,_' Kankuro decided, seeming to forget he was really bad at pegging names) was average height, brown haired, blue eyed, and seemed to like children. Her hair was tied back in a high ponytail and she was dressed in fairly average clothes. '_She's average looking, has no fashion sense, and likes kids. And yet, there is some strange draw…_'

"Hey there pretty lady." Kankuro slid over to her. The girl looked up, eyes somewhat annoyed.

"My girlfriend will be back in a half hour," she deadpanned.

'_Oh yeah…I always did have a strange draw for lesbians…_'

* * *

Naruto sighed. He was trying desperately to clean up the room he shared with Sasuke, as per Temari's request. Sasuke had taken to sleeping on the floor again, in a pile of blankets and underneath a lumpy polar-fleece sleeping bag. The room was a wreck, no one but Temari ever bothered to clean it and, as Naruto now recalled, she had blatantly refused to do so again until someone else picked up the slack. 

Naruto sat on his bed and stared dejectedly at the wall. He had done some decent work on the place, cleaning a lot of the floor and straightening up Sasuke's general resting area. There was still a lot to be done. The closet for instance. Naruto debated just leaving it.

"Hey," Sasuke muttered as he shuffled into the room from the hall. He plopped down on top of his comforter and looked innocently up at Naruto.

"Hi," Naruto returned. He stood up again and began straightening the books on the shelves that lined the blue walls. Sasuke watched with dark eyes, body unmoving but pupils flicking to follow his blond companion's every motion. "What do you want?" Naruto asked finally, stopping abruptly and whirling to face Sasuke.

"Hn," Sasuke muttered noncommittally. He burrowed under his sleeping back and drew the covers over his head. Usually, Naruto would have ignored him. When Sasuke delved into one of those _moods_, the moods Temari and Neji had decided had come from a wave of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, not much could be done.

Today, however, Naruto was sick of cleaning and he was sick of working and sick of the damn organic hemp lip balm on their floor, but most of all he was sick of Sasuke's attitude. Even if it wasn't the dark haired boy's fault, Naruto didn't _care._

"Not good enough," Naruto growled, kneeling beside Sasuke's blanket-covered form and shaking it. "I've been cleaning up your mess and your stupid stuff and I'm sick of it and sick of you and it's just not _good enough_."

So maybe shaking your traumatized best friend when he's obviously in a very unstable emotional state was not the smartest plan. Of course, Naruto wasn't thinking straight. He just wanted a reaction out of Sasuke because he was really tired of the way their relationship was progressing. It was too freaking bipolar: one minute Sasuke was happy-cuddle and the next minute he was like a doll…fragile and breakable.

"Stop!" the dark haired boy shrieked from under the covers. "Stop it! Stop it…please stop it…" His voice dropped off.

Naruto promptly stopped. Sasuke kept shaking, even after tanned hands hand been withdrawn from his form and all outside motion had ceased.

"Sasuke?" Naruto tugged back the comforter to expose Sasuke's pale face. He looked positively mortified, Naruto noted. The blond boy instantly felt sick to his stomach. Had he done this? Was this his fault? Of course it was. All over a stupid mess on the floor.

"Don't do that any more," Sasuke rasped. He pulled the cotton around his body tighter, burying his face into it. He hid his eyes from Naruto's sight, completely bland. He could have been, Naruto decided in his head, anyone in the world with black hair.

"I'm sorry." Naruto reached his fingers tentatively forward. They brushed along the nape of Sasuke's neck and tangled a tiny bit into his black hair. "I promise I won't do it again. Really I won't." Bipolarity. It had to be that. Waves of changing, seething, writhing bipolarity. The bipolarity that was terrifying and horrifying. How could anyone hold on? Would it end? Would it ever be over.

Sasuke glanced up. He untangled himself from the grip of the blankets and shook them off, shifting so he lay half sprawled in Naruto's lap, glancing up into the blond boy's eyes with his own dark gaze. Naruto reached down, carefully tucking a stray charcoal hair behind a pale ear, fingers brushing cautiously over its shell, dipping down to Sasuke's shoulder.

"I won't do it again," Naruto promised. "I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to remind you of--"

"Never," Sasuke swore fiercely, cutting Naruto off suddenly and jerking instinctively at the sudden proximity of both touch and conversation. "You will never, ever remind me of him. Never." He shut his eyes and lay back, exposing his flat, bare stomach in a sign of trust, Naruto assumed. The blond boy dipped his fingers to trace circles on the white plane.

"I'm still sorry." Naruto lay parallel to the other boy, his hand not stopping its careful tracing. The aimless lines had become words: words of love and encouragement and apologies and all the other bits and pieces in Naruto's mind he wanted to say to Sasuke and yet felt…inadequate.

Sasuke rolled over, slinging a leg over Naruto's waist and pulling their bodies flush against each other. "I know." He slung a pale arm over his friends waist, rested a pale cheek against his friend's chest, tangling one hand into blond hair.

A few moments passed and Sasuke shifted again, burying his face into the crook of Naruto's neck, finding a spot to begin licking in lazy circles. Naruto's tracing began to mimic that of the muscle on his neck, but eventually the blond boy pulled back, giving Sasuke a strange look.

"Hold me?" Sasuke asked, cutting off the other boy's inquiry. He once against rested his cheek on Naruto's chest and clutched the younger boy's body tightly.

"Of course," Naruto breathed. He shut his eyes and groped behind him for a discarded blanket. He found it and cast it over the two of them to keep the draft away from their bodies. One bronze hand smoothed out Sasuke's charcoal hair while the other clutched the other boy's hand.

"I…"

"What?"

"I love you."

Naruto paused. He had wanted to hear that a long time. "I love you too."

Sleep…elusive in its dance and strange in its ways, claimed them.

* * *

**I've poured over this document and articles about PTS Syndrome (Post Traumatic Stress). It comes in waves...so that's why Sasuke acts that way. No, I'm not just being spotty, it really can be very bipolar.**


	25. Day 25: Home Base

**Me? Own? I only on the girl who mooches off Deidara. She was sort of originally an author nsert, now she fills that role AND provides sometimes-off-color-comic relief and general how-is-the-authoress-feeling-today. Rotten, I'll tell you that much. The Deidara Mooch sums it all up...**

* * *

"Why is she here?"

"I don't know, but she won't leave."

"How long has she been sitting in our kitchen?"

"A half hour maybe?"

"Have you informed her that Deidara doesn't live here any more?"

"Four times."

"GET ME ANOTHER BEER!"

"You know, she drinks like you…"

"Shut it," Temari snapped, stalking across the linoleum floor and finding a beer in the cupboard.  
"Here." She handed the bottle to the person currently occupying their floor. "Want to tell me about it?"

The person looked up. "Women. I hate women. Best one in the world, she broke my heart."

Temari blinked. "Does that mean you're going to go after guys now?" There was a certain distaste in her tone. The Deidara Mooch glanced up again.

"No, I'm going to be celibate! Not that I don't look at guys too, but after this, never looking at another person again, you know?" She swung her beer around, nearly breaking the bottle against the cupboards she leaned against. Temari sat down opposite her.

"What happened?"

"Best girl I ever met, she broke my heart into a million little pieces because, I dunno, she didn't swing that way? Stopped returning my calls? I don't even know any more." The dark-haired teenager on the floor began to cry. "She doesn't love me anymore!"

Temari patted the girl's back sympathetically. "I'm sorry honey," she crooned, wrapping her arms around the girl who, come to think of it, she barely knew. "You'll find someone else." The blond woman patted her back. Somehow, random teenage girls who somehow get into your house and started crying over lost loves trigger maternal instincts in Temari. So, hug.

"You know, I don't drink a lot…but still…got vodka?"

And then she passed out.

"Well," Neji said from the doorway, surveying the brunette girl passed out on the floor in a puddle of gold, fizzing liquid, "we should probably move her out of the kitchen before the rest of her beer spills."

"Indeed, indeed."

* * *

Sasuke hated scrabble. More specifically, he hated scrabble with his 'family'. Scrabble with Naruto was dull and boring, seeing as he had to wait forever for Naruto to make a word and once he did, it was usually simplistic and easy to build off. Scrabble with Temari was difficult to concentrate on over the waves of hate that radiated off the woman when the game didn't play in her favor. When playing scrabble with Gaara, it was important to move all the sharp objects away, file down the points on the tiles, and sit as far away from him as possible. Neji was always so difficult to play with because he just sat there and made weird words that no one knew how to spell. Shikamaru made words no one understood and would often call people on words like 'angsty' that aren't technically words. Kiba consistently tried to pass off fake words and therefore usually angered Shikamaru, only making their tense friendship tenser. Kankuro…he was just perverted and this usually ended up making poor Hinata blush and causing distractions. Hinata was too shy to actually take any risks and always played on the safe side with her tiles, meaning Sasuke had less chances to actually play well. So in short, playing scrabble with his family was not on his priority list. 

But he had taken to seeing the insane eight teenagers as his family (as strange as this struck him, it was true) and since they were all playing scrabble, he knew they would be angry if he refused to play. Rather, Temari decided it would be bonding, and therefore she threatened him with cleaning the entire house (with the exception of, of course, her closet). If he didn't, she had warned, there would be dire consequences that would apparently make Orochimaru's stuff look like child's play. Sasuke doubted it at first, but once the blond woman had held up the toilet scrubbing brush and 'The Little Baby Pony Goes To Fairy Land: The Movie!', he suddenly decided that scrabble was the greatest game ever played. Screw golf, chess, baseball, whatever, scrabble was _god_.

"Hey! We can play tourney style!" Temari shrieked happily. "I mean, seriously! The Deidara Mooch said she'd play a round with us too, but then she has to go home and work out. She says she does that when she's stressed. Go figure." Temari had five scrabble boards out. "You can lose the first round, but after that, you're out."

And so it began. Sasuke ended up playing Neji the first round. It had started out with nice words, like 'farm' and 'kitten'. Then Neji started playing stuff like 'cherubically' and 'obtunding' and Sasuke just sort of hung on for dear, dear life. He ended up winning, but only because Neji had a streak of really, bad luck. Sasuke rubbed his forehead. Somehow, ending up with three 'r' tiles and two 'x' tiles seemed almost rigged. Neji had gotten mad at that and had ended up running off to sulk until he ended up playing Temari.

Sasuke sat across the board from Gaara, listening to Temari shout. Neji and Temari were always equally matched in scrabble: Temari was a creative writing major and had a massive vocabulary, Neji was nearly a genius. Thinking about it, Sasuke wondered how Shikamaru and Temari would match up. By the way the games were going, there was a good chance they would all find out. Sasuke reasoned that that would probably be a memorable scrabble game, to say the least. For great swearing there must be great vocabulary. Of course, Temari won that round (Neji? Traumatized. He and Naruto had trauma-counseling in the bathroom. It involved marshmallows).

"You know what? It is a word! It said so in that one book about scrabble I bought last year! So if I want to expand 'mother' into 'motherfucker' and take that triple word space, I can damn well do it." Temari bit her lip and stared harshly at her fiancé. Shikamaru looked mildly afraid under her glare.

"Troublesome. Fine, it's a word," Shikamaru groaned, moving a few more tiles around the board. Temari stared hard at the board for a few minutes, then glanced to her letters, then back to the board.

"Is death wish one word or two?"

* * *

Temari leaned against the couch. She had won the scrabble tournament, and Shikamaru had demanded a rematch, so now everyone was playing all over again. Kankuro had been shot down at least six times for a date with the Deidara Mooch, making him a little moody. One supposed spelling out suggestive words in scrabble tiles was not the brightest idea. 

"I'll be leaving now," the Deidara Mooch said. "Thanks for the beer and the hang-over shit and the self-esteem boost." She started for the door. "Why must all the hot people be…people?" she muttered under her breath. Then she slammed the door and danced outwards, onto the sidewalk and down the block.

It wasn't until later that anyone would realize she had stolen six Kurosawa films: three by Kiyoshi and three by Akira. Temari was radiating annoyance. She was vaguely annoyed. She loved films by both Akira Kurosawa ("Five decades of film!") and Kiyoshi Kurosawa ("It's scary! SCAREH!"). The Deidara Mooch could have them, so long as she brought them back, only because the poor girl was so _traumatized_. Actually, deep down, Temari it was secretly sure it was because of how sad Kankuro looked, shriveled in a corner. It was sort of funny. Got back at the make-up wearing boy for smashing Temari's sixth grade project. No, Deidara Mooch wasn't the one who got the short end of the stick. Ha. Taking back vengeance for those cheerios spilt on the floor in a flurry of death-of-a-sixth-grade-project. Ha.

"Hey, you guys, did you want dinner?" Temari smiled gently, leaning against the doorframe, one arm crossed over her stomach. "I have soy beans and Ahi tuna." She felt serene. Beating a whole group of teenagers at scrabble was fulfilling. It made her happy. '_I wonder what my family,_' she paused in her contemplation, casting a quick glance down at her stomach, '_will be like?_' She glanced around the room at the teenagers who occupied it. '_I hope it's like this._'

"That's mine!"

"Give it back!"

"I-- mrph!"

This resulted in Gaara making out with Neji for several minutes, followed by some whacking of Kankuro, a small yelp on Hinata's part, more making out, Sasuke running upstairs, Naruto running upstairs, Shikamaru inching his way towards the iron vase, and Kiba sitting there looking dumbly around.

'_Okay, maybe not _exactly_ like this._'

* * *

**Wow, Temari, you have scrabble issues. Technically (I was reading this book about scrabble a while back), you can use 'motherfucker' in scrabble. Someone did use it, actually.**

**I'm so witty...Akira Kurosawa and Kiyoshi Kurosawa are both directors, only Akira was...well, Akira Kurosawa, and Kiyoshi directed horror films. Both Japanese. Both directors. Oh, bask in my wit-ness.**


	26. Day 26: Home Base

**If I owned, there would be a Naruto version of Monopoly. ****And Sasuke would live in Konoha with Naruto, who is totally his bitch...I mean, 'lover'.**

**And my sister gets this chapter dedicated to her. I don't remember why. I think it involved gum, bibles, and threats.**

* * *

"No way."

"Yeah the fuck right."

"Nope."

"No! Temari that's is so _mean!_"

"It's age old. Now shut up and pick your piece. I call the dog."

"No way!" Kiba protested. "I want the dog. You take the iron."

Temari stewed. "No way! I want the dog!"

"Too bad, I'm always the dog!"

"No, I'm the dog."

"I suppose you are a bitch…"

"Whatever, take your fucking dog, I'll be the racecar." Temari chucked the small iron dog at Kiba's face. It bounced off his nose and landed on the Monopoly board with a plop. Temari beamed triumphantly. Kiba timidly picked up the metal playing piece and put it on Go.

"Everyone ready?" Temari asked. "Naruto is the youngest, let's make him go first." She passed the dice to Naruto. "You roll."

Naruto rolled a three and moved to Baltic Avenue. He turned in a few of his bills for the deed. Temari glanced at him, her mouth twisting into a smirk. Naruto looked mortified. "What?" he half-demanded.

"I know your strategy."

She, Neji, and Kiba glanced at each other. "Buy whatever you can get your hands on," they said at once.

* * *

Temari had read an article on Monopoly once. She also played lots and lots of games of Monopoly. So she knew that orange properties were good, happy creations and that a monopoly on them was an imperative part of the game. Unfortunately, Neji had Tennessee Avenue and didn't look like he was going to part with it any time soon. 

"I want Tennessee," Temari demanded, fixing cold eyes on Neji. Neji shook his head.

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

"I'll give you Saint Charles Place."

"No way."

"Yes! I am going to get my hands on that orange spot, even if I have to hawk my soul."

"You're going to need to do that to pry it from my cold, dead, fingers," Neji barked in return. "What's your best offer, crazy lady?" He grinned.

"Five hundred and Saint Charles," Temari replied calmly. Her eyes narrowed to slits. She was a master negotiator. Whatever it took to get Tennessee…

"No."

"Saint Charles, five hundred dollars and the electric company."

"No way," Neji retorted. "The utilities suck. I want Saint Charles, _six_ hundred dollars, and Marvin Gardens."

"Saint Charles, _four_ hundred, and Atlantic." She set her jaw, taking hold of a wad of bills she had stashed under the cushion. Her eyes narrowed further. Neji sweated profusely. Temari knew he was going to crack soon. She could see it.

"No way. Marvin Gardens, _four fifty_, and Atlantic," the brown-haired boy choked.

"Marvin Gardens, Atlantic, and four hundred dollars for Tennessee Avenue. Take it or leave it." Temari put a hand on her hip and bared her teeth almost menacingly. Trying his best to look unruffled and failing miserably, Neji contemplated before picking up the deed to Tennessee Avenue and handing it to the blond woman.

"Sold."

Temari proceeded to a hotel for each of the orange locations. She passed the dice to Naruto, who had just been sent to jail. He sighed, rolled his dice and received a nine, When he saw the outcome and counted out the spaces, the blond boy nearly threw up. Maybe not to that point, it was just a game, but at the very least, was very, very distressed.

"Rent will be $1000," Temari said. "Pay up."

"I'm out." Naruto got up, handing the last of his money to Temari before traipsing into the kitchen. "I'll be back later, okay? I'm going to make myself some ramen. Anyone else hungry?"

"No," the general population of the living room replied.

A few minutes passed. Naruto was filling up a pot of water when he heard 'that's $1000 to you too Sasuke'. There was a minor groan and a few seconds later, Sasuke emerged from the living room and sat down at the kitchen table to watch the blond boy make ramen.

"Did you want some?" Naruto asked. Sasuke shook his head. "Hungry at all?" Naruto expanded.

"Tuna left?"

"Yeah. Did you want it?"

"Sure."

Naruto heated up the tuna and finished cooking his ramen. Silence descended over the kitchen in a blanket. Eventually, once their food was done, the two boys set to eating, trying to ignore the awkwardness that had settled over them.

"What is it with Temari and board games?" Naruto finally asked, trying desperately to generate conversation.

"Don't know." More silence ensued. "I'm tired. They're probably going to be playing for a while longer. You coming?"

The implications in that particular sentence certainly were…interesting. "Coming where?" Naruto asked. Interesting went right over his head. Poor naïve boy.

"To sleep." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He started for the stairs. He reached his room in what felt like seconds and was asleep on Naruto's bed even faster. Naruto took up a spot on the floor, usually where Sasuke slept. Confusing, confusing. Should have watched the others play Monopoly.

* * *

When Naruto woke in the middle of the night, he wasn't sure if it was from the screaming of 'WHY DID YOU SELL HER TENNESSEE?!' or whether it was Sasuke waking up in somewhat of a frenzy. Probably the latter. 

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked the darkness. He flicked on the nightlight that was plugged in by his head and crawled to sit on the end of Sasuke's bed. The black-haired boy was sitting up, clutching his pillow and leaning against the headboard. His dark eyes were shut and he shook rhythmically, in time to his ragged breathing. '_It's back,_' Naruto thought suddenly. The nightmares that had made themselves a daily occurrence returned.

Sasuke's eyes snapped open. "Naruto?" he choked out. He leaned forward, dropping his pillow, and reached out to prod Naruto's scarred cheek. "You're okay."

"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?" Naruto inched instinctively closer to his friend. He wondered, briefly, what the older boy had been dreaming about. He sounded afraid. '_Afraid…is he always afraid?_'

"I thought you were dead." Sasuke's eyes lacked emotion.

"I'm not dead."

"I thought you left me."

"I'm not going to leave you."

"No?"

"No. Go back to sleep."

Sasuke leaned harder against Naruto's chest. He shook his head at Naruto's last order. "Not tired," he whimpered, pressing his mouth against the other boy's cheek. A tongue darted out and licked tanned flesh. "What about you? Are you tired?"

"You should probably go back to sleep," Naruto protested. "Temari mentioned visiting a retirement home tomorrow." Sasuke's hand slipped under an orange shirt and deftly located a patch of sensitive skin. "Hey, don't do that."

"Why not?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto sighed. "Because Temari would call it taking advantage of you."

Sasuke's face darkened. "Get out." He shoved his friend promptly to the floor. "Out. You hate me, you're a liar, get out." He leaned against the side of the wall again. "Out!" he demanded. Naruto blinked a few minutes before picking up his sleeping bag and dragging it into the hall.

"Sleeping in the hall?" he glanced up to see Gaara.

"Yeah," Naruto muttered. "Sasuke's being…Sasuke. I thought you were still playing Monopoly."

Gaara shook his head. "No, I fell prey to Indiana." He sat beside Naruto on the vinyl that covered the polar fleece sleeping bag. "He kicked you out?" Green eyes fixated on the closed door. Naruto nodded sullenly.

"Not even sure why." He looked miserable.

"Well, Neji is up on caffeine with Temari…I'm pretty sure Shikamaru is asleep and I know Kiba gave up. They'll be at it all night…can I camp out with you?"

Naruto quirked an eyebrow. "Why?" he asked. Gaara shrugged.

"It's fun. Besides, the closer I am to your door, the closer I'll be to beating the shit out of Sasuke-Bastard." He grinned. "Besides, you look mildly lonely. It is four in the morning.

"Really, that late? Why haven't they given up on that game already?"

"You know Temari. Always has to win. Neji wants to prove his theory is going to work, so…yeah. No sleep for anyone."

"I need company."

"True."

"Did you bring a blanket?"

Gaara nodded, producing a blanket from the cupboard near by. He and Naruto curled up beside each other, promptly dozing in the hallway. "Night," Gaara muttered.

"Night."

Beneath them, there was a sudden shout of 'Ha! Community Chest says I won Fifty DOLLAH!"

* * *

**Wow, Temari has Monopoly issues.**

**Thanks for reading. You know, if you did. No forget review.**


	27. Day 27: Eugene

**Has it really been a week? I went on a class trip, for 3 days and I was tired. My excuse.**

**Why do I feel as though I totally wasted this story? So short, so annoying.**

**I no own. Someone told me I ignored Shikamaru, so he gets a good chunk of this chapter as his own. That's right Shika-chan, laugh it up. Laugh it up. I'm going to kill you (not really).**

**

* * *

**"You, lazy boy! Get up!" 

Shikamaru did not like being woken up from sleep by his fiancée prodding him with one combat booted foot and banging a broom just above his head. It was decidedly troublesome and entirely unpleasant. Of course, Temari kneeling altogether too close to his face and attacking his mouth like it was _food_ certainly made up for it.

"We have stuff to do." The blond woman hoisted him to his feet rather roughly and dusted off the lint that had collected during the night. Shikamaru secretly wished he had just stayed asleep, but unfortunately the flaw in that reasoning was that Temari wouldn't give up until he was awake. It was easier to just get up and face the music than to have ice tea dumped on you. Really. It is.

"Do I want to know?"

"Are you really convinced that matters?"

Shikamaru sighed. "Not really…"

"Good, we're going to go to a concert. More specifically, we're going to the huge, multi-band concert Deidara got tickets to by whoring Remika out." She snickered. "Not really."

"I gathered." Shikamaru rubbed is temples. Temari was so…wow. Intense. Weird. Strange. He loved her anyway though, even if she could be sort of whore-ish at times and had very little regard for authority or cushioning other people's feelings.

Oh well, he loved the troublesome girl anyway.

"Of course, who would want Remika as a whore besides?"

He loved the _very_ troublesome girl anyway.

They padded down stairs together. "I want my coffee!"

Shikamaru sighed. For the person who had woken him up, Temari sure was grouchy in the morning. It was too bothersome to be grouchy in his book, but he had to make Temari coffee or it would be worse. Besides, he reasoned, making coffee for the people you loved was a part of life that just existed. And, loving Temari, Shikamaru had become incredibly proficient at coffee making.

"Here you go," he growled, handing Temari her white mug with the chip in the rim and the long, thin, hairline crack where he had glued it back together after Naruto dropped it. Temari sipped. "To your liking?" Shikamaru asked.

He did not, in any way, expect to be completely knocked over by Temari and _molested_.

"That was the best coffee EVER!" she cried, pushing Shikamaru against the nearest wall and licking his cheek. Shikamaru blinked, and Temari giggled when his eyelashes tickled her lips. Were pregnant women _always_ this horny? Had Temari been like this for the past three and a half months.

Then exactly one thought popped into his mind.

Kiba.

Despite the wave of licking, sucking, biting and moaning that occurred in the next thirty seconds, Shikamaru managed to push Temari off of him. "I can't…" He writhed away. Temari stopped, her grey eyes narrowing instantly.

"Can't what?"

"How can I trust you? You're always hanging around with Kiba…" He bit his lip. That had sounded so much better in his head and now it just sounded bad. He loved Temari, more than the sun and the moon and novels, but he couldn't drive the thought of Kiba from his head. Perhaps it was because he had dreamed: it was Kiba's child, not his, that belonged to Temari, that it was the dog lover's heart that belonged to the blond girl, not his. He was just…worried.

Temari looked really angry for a second before she shoved Shikamaru into the wall and stormed off, not exactly sad, but definitely radiating rage and frustration. Shikamaru slunk to the bathroom to think.

So maybe Kiba was shagging Temari. What if he was? He and Temari hadn't really been _together_ much, and Hinata seemed to like hanging out with Kankuro an awful lot. What if there was deeper meaning? He frantically took his long hair down and put it back up in a ponytail. He did this six times. Seven. Breathe in, breath out.

Then the banging started. Someone, someone very insistent, was assaulting the door with their fists. Shikamaru sighed, getting off his perch on the edge of the bathtub and opening the green bathroom door. The person who had been attacking the door was none other than Gaara.

Gaara looked very angry.

He sizzled.

Then he punched Shikamaru in the face.

Shikamaru reeled backwards. To fight Gaara or to not fight Gaara. Gaara was a ruthless fighter, and he had no qualms about killing someone with the candlestick, the revolver, the rope, or _all three_. On the other hand, Shikamaru might be able to inflict a little bit of pain, enough to drive Gaara off. Not likely though.

The two boys stumbled into the living room so they had more space to rip each other limb from limb, decapitate each other, dismember each other, disembowel each other, slice off each others feet with wires, rip out their eyes, bite each other, stab each other, or slit each others throats. Shikamaru aimed a kick for Gaara's groin but Gaara managed to twist away and sink his teeth into the juncture where Shikamaru's neck met his shoulder. From the other room, Kankuro slipped in. He didn't look much saner than Gaara at that moment.

Shikamaru made a strangled shrieking noise.

"You made my sister _cry!_" Kankuro shouted. "That is not okay! Only I'm allowed to say she's shagging Kiba, and if she cries I have to apologize! Mom made me promise!" There was more fighting. "How could you be so mean to her? She's not involved with Kiba. In case no one noticed, she is _madly in love with you!_"

Gaara did not speak, but he twisted Shikamaru's arm painfully.

"You are scary shit," Neji commented as he walked by, glancing at his boyfriend. "I would totally help you, but I'm staying out of this one. Mostly because I find three on one a little unfair, and I have a feeling Kiba might show up and be really mad. Not to mention I promised Hinata I'd go get a movie with her."

"You're a decent cousin, you know that?" Naruto asked, sticking his head around the corner. "Would you care if I came? Sasuke still won't let me in."

Shikamaru blanched. Did no one notice he was getting the living shit beat out of him? Did anyone care. "Hello? Help?" Gaara shoved him against the wall and covered his mouth with a piece of pink carpet.

"Sure," Neji said, addressing Naruto. "Just get some shoes and we'll head out." He swished away and left his lover and his lover's brother to their beating of the future brother-in-law. Utter, total remorselessness.

Shikamaru was very sorry.

* * *

In the end, Temari accepted Shikamaru back. It took flowers, lots of blue crocus and paper white lilies, roses so red is made the cuts on Shikamaru's arm look pale, but she accepted him back. Actually, she punched him once in the face, then accepted him and put all the flowers in a vase and decided she could make him watch a documentary as punishment. 

"I'll clean you up first," she had said, and lead Shikamaru to the kitchen table. "Do you really think I'd do that with Kiba?" she asked, dipping a slip of paper napkin into Hydrogen Peroxide and dabbing it on Shikamaru's cut lip. "I mean, really?"

"No. I was worried though. You are a troublesome girl."

She pressed a little harder on his lip. "Am I really?"

"No," Shikamaru admitted. "I can't help but worry though. You're so beautiful. I'm always afraid someone else will sweep you off your feet." Temari arched an eyebrow. So maybe hitting up Naruto, who had been locked out of his room countless times by an ornery Sasuke, for relationship tips wasn't the best idea.

"So, they got you good, huh?" the blond woman asked, changing subject rapidly. Shikamaru nodded.

"Gaara hits hard."

"No, honey, if Gaara was hitting you hard you wouldn't be here."

"True, true." Shikamaru rubbed his temple, then winced when his finger found a slowly bruising patch of flesh. "They love you," he said.

Temari nodded. "I know. I'm sorry they were so violent…"

"I deserved it."

"Kind of. You're watching that documentary with me now," she paused, wrapping the final bandage around Shikamaru's bicep, "you're all finished." She pressed her lips to his forehead. Pregnant women can't seem to hold grudges, at least not with chocolate involved. Maybe Temari's case was special? If it was, he was happy with it and _never ever wanted to love anyone else ever._

Despite having been beat up by her brothers, Shikamaru decided he deserved it, and sat through three hours of droning voices that rambled about sharks that lived in the Pacific. An hour? _Maybe_ two? Fine. Three? Not happening. He sat through it though. Labor of love.

He loved her.

* * *

Concerts can be fun, and concerts can be evil. They can be the best of times, they can be the worst of times. This was the worst of times. Mostly for people with blond hair, namely Temari and Naruto. The only two people with blond hair. 

"Oh my god, Sasuke, stop doing that it's scary!" Temari demanded. "The shaking and the shivering is freaking me out. It's just a car ride! I don't care how traumatized you are, you can handle sitting in a car for a ten minute drive to the freaky concert hall."

"Hn."

"Che."

Apparently, two can play that game.

Naruto rubbed his temples. Temari was scary. Really, horribly scary, like a giant panda bear. He glanced out the window at the night. It was clear but somehow raining, the stars painfully bright and only magnified by the prisms of the raindrops. Rainbows cast over the entire world in little shimmering splatters.

The music, in case anyone cared, was decent. It was freestyle rapping mostly, Electric soul. It was pretty good, and Neji and Gaara were dancing quite closely. Temari and Shikamaru would have been dancing if they weren't pregnant and wounded respectively. Kankuro was being hit by angry heartbroken pansexual teenagers. No 'on' in that sentence. Just 'hit'.

Sasuke was sitting in a corner. It was dark there, cold and grey and boring. No one ventured into that little bubble. It radiated sadness and tragedy and fear. No one would have seen it, if they weren't looking. Naruto fixed his bright eyes on it. He saw it. He was looking.

He glided forward and took up standing beside Sasuke. Sasuke didn't even glance over, just sinking further into the shadows. He turned away, hiding his gaze with a pale cheek. Music writhed around them, the hip hop in juxtaposition with Sasuke in his darkness was striking.

"Hn."

The response was inadequate. Naruto resisted the urge to grab Sasuke, turn him forward, to kiss him, to do whatever was possible to drag the boy back from whatever dark place he hid in. Neji had suggested talking. Strange J-horror obsessed girls had suggested talking. Gaara had suggested…well, who cares what Gaara thinks? It's traumatizing enough what he says, we don't need to know what runs through his mind. Temari had suggested talking. Hinata had suggested talking. Kiba had suggested raw fucking, but somehow, Naruto decided he would go with the majority. No jury existed within his mind.

"Talk to me," the blond boy whispered, leaning against the same wall Sasuke occupied. Sasuke shrugged.

"About what?" Sasuke asked. His voice was so monotonous, so empty.

"Whatever you want."

"You can't psychoanalyze me." He turned on Naruto, bright black eyes glowing with anger. "You can't fucking analyze me Uzamaki, like I'm some kind of test subject! I don't want to talk to you about all my problems so they'll go away. Leave me alone!" He fell back against the wall and slid down it. He was small.

"I'm not trying to psychoanalyze you," Naruto assured. "I just miss you." He sat opposite Sasuke, both boys totally surrounded by the darkness of the club.

"I'm here."

"You're not." He reached forward, slowly, painstakingly, giving Sasuke plenty of time to pull away. His fingertips came into contact with Sasuke's cheek, grazing its soft surface. It came back wet, but it could have been booze or tears or both. More likely the first. Not that Naruto was totally sober, but anyone could tell Sasuke had been drinking, even if it was just a little.

It wasn't.

Naruto leaned forward slightly, slowly. His forehead rested against Sasuke's and he waited. Waited for Sasuke to move, make a move, move away. Whatever it was, the blond boy waited. Normally, waiting wasn't his style. But for Sasuke…for Sasuke, he could wait.

Sasuke, on the other hand, did not like waiting.

He moved forward suddenly, practically knocking Naruto onto his back. He found a spot on the blond boy's neck with his lip, first biting it and then sucking at it, lapping at it, assaulting it in all forms of the word.

"You guys can't do that here," Temari said. "Go out to the car. Neji and Gaara already staked out the bathroom."

Sasuke and Naruto stumbled towards Murphy. Murphy that had probably seen more sex than a porn addicted accountant. Naruto managed to kick open the door and fall inside, landing beneath Sasuke. Naruto slammed the door shut with a wayward snap of his knee.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked, biting down on Naruto neck. Naruto groaned.

"You…" he managed to grind out.

Sasuke nodded, slipping his fingers to Naruto's shirt. It was thin, it was summer, and within seconds it was off. Sasuke's tongue poked from his mouth, drawing a trail down to one of Naruto's nipples. Sasuke began rhythmic swirls with his tongue, listening to the rapid beating of his friend's heart. Naruto heard his heart beating quicker, faster, harder.

Sasuke's hands drifted to the fly of Naruto's jeans. Naruto's incredibly, incredibly, tight jeans. He slipped his pale finger's into the waist band of the blond boy's pants and unbuttoned them deftly, using the other hand to keep the two of them from crashing into the side of the van.

"You really want this?" Naruto asked. Sasuke didn't reply, just began wriggling out of his own clothing. His pushed his now bare-chest against Naruto's, the friction of their bodies unbearable. It was hot. Hotter. In minutes the two boys lay against each other, completely unclothed. The dark haired boy ground against the younger one, earning himself a moan of approval and encouragement. Sasuke reached over mid-writhe to grab one of the many abandoned blankets that littered Murphy's interior. Naruto leaned closer to Sasuke, and the two of them wrapped themselves up in the blanket, which was an ugly fuchsia.

Sasuke's hand snaked downwards, pausing at Naruto's flat stomach, tracing the Japanese characters for his name with the back of his nail before drifting down to grab a hold of rapidly hardening flesh. Naruto mewled piteously. It felt good…really, really fucking good. The blond boy bucked against Sasuke's hand, clamping his lips over the other boy's neck as if to distract himself.

"You want me to fuck you?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto just nodded.

"You know how long I've been waiting?"

Naruto shook his head.

"A really fucking long time."

The actual sex didn't really last that long: Sasuke lasted thirty seconds tops with Naruto squirming so rhythmically under him, screaming with every motion. Naruto lasted ten seconds longer, maximum, before he lost it too and completely let go. Pain was dull and what felt good…that was all that mattered. Enough booze will do that to you. The rest of the world means nada, the person you're with…they are your world.

Now the two boys just stared at the ceiling, covered in sticky white gunk. Naruto rolled over to straddle Sasuke hips, staring down at the dark haired boy. Neither moved for a long time, too tired to actually shift. The blond boy bent his head and pressed his lips gently against his friend's. Then he rolled back on his back. The stars were shedding their own bizarre light over what must have been a strange spectacle.

"I love you," Naruto whispered.

Sasuke paused a minute. "I love you too."

As the two boys dozed off, Naruto's parting thought should have been 'how mad is Gaara going to be?'. It wasn't.

Did it even matter?

It was worth it.

**

* * *

**

**Edit: thanks to peoples who told me my lemon sucked. I needed that. Thanks to people who lied to make me feel better. But...I am so self conscious (read: no self-esteem) I killed it dead anyway.**

**Thanks in advance, in case I forget, for sticking through the crappy filler, the badly written angst, and the shitty lemon/lime. ****If there was ever a third part to this, I promises I would make it have plot. Real plot. But there won't be.**

**Edit: Again with the editing, fine, I'll write a third part. But I have another story to write first (that, and since I have other plans for all the other little children, I need to spend hours making sure an OC I would use for Temari's little bugger isn't a Sue).**

**Anyways, this is the second to last chapter...I'll update tomorrow and then it'll be...over...thought I would get all of this over with now, you know, so I will have less to rant about in the last AN.**


	28. Day 28: Home Base

I no own.

* * *

"Should we tell them?" 

"They're going to know."

"Well, they were pretty drunk."

"They are going to know."

"Not if we don't tell them."

Neji sighed loudly, put his hands on Temari's shoulders, and shook her profusely. "I can tell you, they are going to know. I was freaking sore all the way to Oklahoma! There's no 'not telling them', if you pardon the double negative."

Temari sighed. "Do I have a choice?"

"Of what?"

"Pardoning your double negative."

Neji sighed. "My suggestion is that we all decide to go somewhere far, far away so we're not around when they wake up. We could crash at a motel."

"You know Neji," Temari said thoughtfully, "that's the best suggestion you've had all day."

"It's only half past midnight."

"Exactly."

* * *

Scream. 

"Oh my god!"

Shriek.

"What the fuck did we do?"

Smash.

"Shit shit shit…Temari is going to kill us, please don't break that…"

Shatter.

"She bought that in sixth grade! I hope I can glue it."

Splinter.

"No! It didn't happen." Sasuke bit down on his lip as hard as he could, drawing blood. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" He shut his eyes, sliding down the wall he had adopted as his leaning place. "I'm so sorry." His breathing was heavy. "Don't hate me."

Naruto blinked. '_Hate him? How could I ever hate him?_' He knelt beside Sasuke, the grooves in the wooden floor biting into his bare knees. "What? Hate you? I love you."

Sasuke's head snapped up, his eyes burning as brightly as the stars in the night outside. "Don't say that!" he demanded, drawing his knees up to his chest. "Never say that! Leave me alone to rot in peace." He buried his head in his arms. His body quaked. '_Zanka…the last flower remaining in bloom._'

The blond haired boy stretched out his hand, resting it on the back of Sasuke's neck. "You don't mean that," he said quietly. "You don't mean that at all." He ran his thumb gently along Sasuke's jaw.

Sasuke hardly ever looked like he had given up. Mostly it was after Orochimaru, usually at night. Sometimes on the phone, or sometimes when he would sneak out of his bedroom window, bleeding. He had never looked like this before though. No…not true. He had once.

_Naruto awoke to the sound of frantic pummeling on his window. At first it had seemed like the rain that had been falling all evening, rhythmic and constant, but as it became more desperate, slowed down, and Naruto managed to fully wake his fifteen year old body from sleep, it became very apparent it was not rain. He kicked off the covers and jolted over to the window. He slid it up slowly, coming face-to-face with a soaking, distressed Sasuke._

_"Sasuke?" the blond boy asked, as if it would be anyone else. "Sasuke, what happened?" He slid the window open a little further and helped his friend fall in and onto the blue carpet. Naruto shut the window, then knelt beside Sasuke. "What happened?" he repeated._

_Sasuke glanced up. "Oro…" it was as far as he got before he started choking. Blood streamed from his body and his lips, a little more with each breath, a little redder. It had already begun to stain Naruto's carpet. Rain water cascaded in little rivulets down his back, mixing with blood and falling to the floor._

_"Here, stand up." Naruto hoisted the older boy to his feet and dragged him towards the door to the hallway. "We'll get you cleaned up and dry, alright?" Mentally he wondered the most tactful way to_ beat the living shit out of Orochimaru_. "Come on." He struggled to push Sasuke into the bathroom and set him down on the edge of the bathtub. "You want to tell me what happened?"_

_Sasuke shook his head. "No…you'll hate me. You'll hate me." He just repeated it over and over again, his arms wrapped around his body, rocking back and forth._

_Naruto shook his head. "I could never hate you," he promised Sasuke. "This might sting a little." He reached up to dab a cloth dipped in peroxide over a gash in Sasuke's head. Sasuke didn't even wince. It was like he didn't even notice. "You sure you won't tell me?"_

_"No!" Sasuke nearly shrieked. "You can't hate me! You'll hate me! Stop it! Leave me alone…" He keeled over. Water that was dripping from his disheveled hair mingled with tears Naruto had suddenly noticed._

_"You're in my house," Naruto whispered. "I can't leave you alone. Don't cry Sasuke." Sasuke never cried. Or, hardly ever. Naruto was sure it had happened before, but he couldn't quite recall the blurry memories. It might have been a dream._

_Naruto stood up, offering his hand to Sasuke. "I can get you some dry clothes. You can wear some of my stuff while I throw your clothes in the dryer. They'll be dry before school, okay?" Sasuke took his hand gingerly and pulled himself shakily to his feet. In the other hand, Naruto grabbed the peroxide. "I'll put more on the rest of you body when we get back to my room." He groaned inwardly. It sounded like a bad pick-up line._

_"Thanks," Sasuke muttered. Naruto lead him carefully back to his room. The blond haired boy turned to go to put Sasuke's clothing in the dryer. "Don't leave," Sasuke said suddenly. "Don't leave me alone." He latched onto Naruto's arm. His body was shaking and his grip was weak, but he adamantly refused to release._

_"I'm not leaving. You want to come with me to dry your clothes?" The blond boy managed a weak smile. He hooked an arm around Sasuke's soaked chest, wincing as the other boy sucked in his breath in pain. "Sorry."_

_"It doesn't matter."_

_The two trudged to the laundry room. Naruto dropped the older boy's clothes in the dryer, flicked it on, and left it. "Okay, now to get you some dry clothes." Sasuke had begun rampant shivering by now. Naruto pushed open his bedroom door with his foot and shut it again, helping Sasuke over to his bed._

_Naruto crossed his bedroom and located a pair of fairly clean sweatpants and a sweater. "Here you go. Just take off what you've got and I can start cleaning your other wounds."_

_"There are no more," Sasuke choked._

_"You're lying, I can see the blood soaking through your shirt." He tugged gently on the hem of Sasuke's shirt. "Let me see it. Let me see what he did to you." Sasuke glanced down, tears still dripping from his eye lashes. He shed his shirt which landed, wet and bloody, on the floor with a splat._

_His entire body was shredded. It looked like someone had meticulously, carefully, neatly tried to cause the most amount of pain possible. It wasn't like it had been before. This time…it was different. Naruto restrained a gasp and the urge to go over there and_ kill Orochimaru with his bare hands

_"Lie on your back and hold still," Naruto commanded. Sasuke complied, collapsing backwards. "This is going to sting, okay? I'll be gentle." He dabbed peroxide on one of the cut on Sasuke's stomach. "Do you have more? Don't lie to me, I'll find out anyway."_

_Sasuke shook his head. "Not tonight. I'm a whore anyway." He winced as Naruto pressed the peroxide cloth against his bleeding stomach. The blond boy found a towel left over from the morning's shower and toweled Sasuke off before discarding the cloth on the floor._

_"No," Naruto assured him. "You're not. That fucker is messing with your mind." He groped behind him to locate the shirt he had found. "Put your arms up."_

_Sasuke complied meekly, the grey fabric slipping over his lithe frame. Naruto helped him dress completely and when they were done they just sat there in the near-darkness, staring at each other. Naruto crawled forward, stretching out and laying his head on his pillow. "Sleep beside me," he ordered. "You can't have the floor tonight."_

_Sasuke nodded, laying beside his friend. Naruto cautiously wrapped an arm around Sasuke's waist and pulled their bodies unconsciously closer together. "Good night."_

_"Night." Sasuke shut his eyes and snuggled beneath the covers and against his friend's bodies. When he was sure Naruto was asleep, he added his post script. "I don't know why you care about a whore like me…"_

_Naruto cracked one eye. '_Never a whore_,' he thought. '_Never_.' _

_And they slept._

It was like that. Sasuke was curled up, shaking miserably.

"I'm sorry," he cried. "I'm so fucking sorry…"

Naruto sat cross-legged beside him, staring blankly and rubbing smooth, even circles on his friend's shaking back. "You didn't do--"

"I did!" Sasuke interrupted. "I stole from you what you should have given to someone who deserved it!" He leaned against the wall, staring at an unnatural angle into space. Naruto paused. '_Has he finally lost it? I thought it had reached it's worst a long time ago but maybe…maybe I was wrong._'

"Stop it, okay? Just stop it. You're not a whore, you're freaking hung-over." Naruto stood. "Come on, we're going back to sleep." Sasuke took the other boys outstretched hand and hoisted himself up. "Come on." Naruto dragged the older boy up the stairs and cracked open the door to Temari's room. Temari and the others were crashed at a motel and the bed she shared with Shikamaru was more comfortable anyway.

The two boys stretched out next to each other. Naruto pressed his forehead against Sasuke's and for a second there he was afraid the older boy would suddenly and abruptly pull away. But strangely…he didn't. The two teenagers lay there, eyes shut, foreheads resting together. Somewhere in the back of their minds, they heard the rain, the beat and rhythm and music of the rain, and it was real. The music was real.

Sasuke was the first to move, surprisingly enough. He shifted forward, slipping an arm around Naruto's waist. "I'm sorry." Before Naruto had time to protest, however, Sasuke had shifted forward again and claimed the younger boy's lips for his own. Naruto returned the kiss, running his tongue gently along the other boy's lower lip, asking cautiously for entrance which surprisingly, Sasuke granted. They shifted closer still, bodies coming full contact, legs wrapping around each other to gain more access to the other's body.

Only one thought was running through the two boys' minds. It was a thought that both of them could read in the way they moved against each other, the way their lips pressed together. It was the thought for a while there, both boys had both feared and needed, like the next fix of a hated drug. But not anymore. Not any more was it liquescent death. Not anymore was it just a dream, some hope unfulfilled. Not anymore was it anticipation for some fake happiness, some fractured sun.

No…it was real.

'_I love you._'

Music of the Rain

Fractured Sun

I love you.

* * *

Elsewhere, way on the other side of town: 

"Sweet god, my EYES."

* * *

**They struck me as OoC, but you know...circumstances, creative license, the fact you love me.**

**So, here we are. At the end. I'll have more stuff out eventually. If anyone thinks it would be an okay idea, I might write a third part of this and have it ACTUALLY HAVE A PLOT LINE! (Why do I feel the need to bring Itachi back?) Plus one-shots and other random stories.**

**So...there we have it. Review. **

**Goodbye. I love you. :ambigous statement:**


End file.
